Review: Rogue Warrior

Rogue Warrior is something special. I say this because it’s quite possibly the worst game I’ve played in recent history. Even better, it’s probably the worst game of 2009, although I haven’t played every single game this year so I can’t make that statement. However, that little ray of hope that Rogue Warrior might not be the worst game of this year doesn’t save it in the least from its complete failure. If you want to know exactly how bad this game is, you can continue reading to see eGamer’s final verdict.

[Note: For an in-depth explanation of my review system, go here: Tody's Review System]

Name: Rogue Warrior
Genre: First Person Tactical Shooter
Players: 1
Multiplayer: Online
Platforms: PC, PS3, Xbox360
Developers: Rebellion Developments
Publishers: Bethesda Softworks
Release Date: Between 26 November and 1-2 December 2009

Ok, if you’ve read this far I suggest you kick back and start listening to some happy music, because I can assure you this review will be filled with nothing but negativity. Right then, back to this thing that calls itself a game. In Rogue Warrior you’ll take on the role of Navy SEAL Richard “Demo Dick” Marcinko, who is true to his second D in every way possible. When the game starts he’s sent off with two of his comrades on a mission into North Korea to take out ballistic missile launchers. Enter Dick’s first narration, where he basically feeds you typical military crap of how hard his life is and how he wouldn’t trust anyone but his two comrades to watch his back. Two minutes later, both his friends are dead due to some Korean with the Matyrdom perk equipped – for those who never played Call of Duty 4, the guy dropped a live grenade when he died, which detonated and blasted the two military men to hell. Dick, in his infinite dickness, starts swearing (and doesn’t ever stop throughout the entire game) and leaves his comrades behind to go live up to his name of “Rogue Warrior” and do the entire mission by himself.

From then on you’re going to play through a laughable single player campaign with poorly written dialogue and a cliched and uninteresting plot. However, one of the worst things about the main campaign is the lead character himself. His dialogue throughout the game consists entirely of outdated lines and swear words. Even his personality is annoying, as he is basically your typical military hard ass who thinks he is the business by refusing to follow orders and speaking in vulgar tones. Him aside, there are eight levels in total for the single player campaign and, if you’re insane enough to buy this game, you’ll be done with it in a mere two hours or less. That is no joke, because not only are the levels damn short and incredibly easy, but you’re further aided when playing by the broken mechanics of the game, which I’ll explain below, that turn it all into an even bigger joke. Basically, to sum up the entire game, you’re just going to be killing every Korean in sight, which is easier done than said (seriously), blowing some stuff up, listening to tons of swear words and military talk and battling it out with the game’s frustratingly broken gameplay.

If you’re still reading at this point, you’re probably a little interested about the gameplay. Alright, so Rogue Warrior is entirely a first person shooter, but as soon as you enter cover or execute a stealth or brutal kill the camera will shift to third person. Now, there are only two elements to this game that make up the entire gameplay – the shooting and the “stealth”, both of which are heavily flawed. Let’s start with the shooting. I mostly played the PC version of this game and it seemed to me that regardless of which gun I used there was still next to no recoil whatsoever. However, even with the hack accuracy, there were some strange instances where I aimed at an enemy’s head and fired off multiple shots, but didn’t make a kill, while other times my enemies dropped dead after the first bullet. This happened even when I constantly took my shots at the same spot. Even more strange is that while there are quite a number of random explosive barrels placed around the areas you’ll visit, blowing them up will sometimes not even damage your enemies despite the fact that they were right next to said exploding barrel. Other issues include extremely slow reload times with some guns and the frustrating “pick up” bug. Often enough when you move your crosshair to a weapon that you want to pick up and attempt to do so, the game will give you a gun that is next to the one you’re aiming at. It’s extremely annoying, especially when it happens while you’re trying to pick up ammo for your current gun.

Now we come to the “stealth” part of the game, as it’s called. Although why you would want to use your gun or be stealthy is beyond me, because enemies can’t hear your footsteps even when you’re running and when you execute a stealth kill you become immune to all forms of damage. Basically, the ideal way to play is to simply charge into battle and begin stabbing your enemies one by one, because chances are they’re either too busy sticking to cover or standing in mute shock at the sight of a raging Dick to do anything to stop you. However, what tramps down on your success with this method is the fact that the game sometimes doesn’t even recognise your button input for a brutal kill. Quite often I’ve stood in front of an enemy and hit the melee button at least four times, but nothing happened, resulting in my Korean friend finally realising he had a gun in his hand and could use it. Needless to say the game over screen followed after that. Contrary to this, your enemies will most of the time stand rock still and allow you to run up and kill them, so there is no need for stealth at all. In fact the only form of stealth involved is that you’re able to sneak up behind enemies, who somewhat suspiciously always seem to have their backs facing you, and kill them brutally – or shoot them with your silent pistol that has infinite ammo. Aside from stealth kills, there are few opportunities in the game to shoot out power boxes which throw an area in darkness, allowing you to (you guessed it!) run around stabbing more Koreans.

The above pretty much sums up the gameplay at its deepest level. There is honestly nothing more to tell you about the game other than that blind firing while in cover is very inaccurate and pointless when you can just go all stabby on the Koreans. The stealth is below basic and the shooting is completely under par in comparison to, well, almost every other first person shooter out there. Oh and there is multiplayer in the game, but don’t even bother because, if the above wasn’t enough to convince you of how bad this game is, all there is to the multiplayer and online is deathmatch and team deathmatch – none of which can make this game even remotely “better” than it is. I guess you don’t have much of a choice in any case since there is practically no one playing Rogue Warrior online – strangely enough. As far as the graphics go, Rogue Warrior is extremely underpar, looking about the same as a decent PS2 or Xbox game at best. It’s really an insult to the PC, PS3 and Xbox360′s capabilities. Regarding sound, the music is not bad, but there are so few sound tracks in the game that constantly repeat while you’re playing, so you’ll probably grow tired of them after the second level or so. If you’re not tired of the actual game by then, that is.

Allow me to blow your mind by saying that, above all else already mentioned, I have not even made clear the worst thing about the game. So, to completely destroy Rogue Warrior’s already dead hopes and dreams, let me say that the most shocking thing about this game is the ridiculous cost of it. There is honestly no way to justify paying about R700 (or R400 for the PC version) for a game this crap. Hell, I wouldn’t even recommend you play this game if you got it for free. Above all, though, I think the cost of this game is indeed the biggest slap in the face, especially when you take a moment to actually consider what it is you’re getting for the money you’re spending.

In conclusion, I’d strongly suggest that you stay as far away from this title as humanly possible. Rogue Warrior is not worth your time and is most definitely not worth your money. With a mere two hour long, repetitive single player campaign, a pointless and heavily tacked on multiplayer mode, a cliched and un-interesting plot and shallow and broken gameplay, Rogue Warrior pretty much falls flat in all areas. Quite simply, there is no reason whatsoever to buy or play Rogue Warrior. There are literally hundreds (thousands and millions) of better games out there that are actually worth your time and money. This game just can’t match up to any other titles like it currently on the market. If Rogue Warrior was an attempt at creating a horrible game, then I’d say it succeeded in every way possible. This is, unquestionably, one of the worst games of 2009.

The Enraged Tody Conclusion:
Rogue Warrior just fails in every – Ah screw it. Rogue Warrior is one of the crappiest games of 2009. If you want to remain a happy man, avoid this game at all costs. Perhaps the most fun I’ve had with Rogue Warrior was when I typed up this review, so that I could have my revenge on it for completely wasting my time – and possibly save some of my fellow gamers out there who were interested in buying it. Maybe, if you’re deranged enough to go buy it after reading this review among others, you’ll have a little bit of fun with it and will end up thinking, “Damn, this Tody guy is a complete retard, this game is not THAT bad.” Well, my dear friends and foes, if you end up thinking this of me, just remember that I’m sitting here laughing at the look on your face when the game randomly ends after two hours and you’re left thinking about all the KFC you could have bought with the money you used on this poor excuse for a game.

If you feel that you have gained some insight into what kind of evil, cave-dwelling, dark spawn I am, please reconsider your thoughts. I am not evil at heart – perhaps a little misunderstood and deprived of Super Cs right about now. Defensive argument aside, you should be able to somewhat understand my rage after being subjected to a game like this. If not, try playing it. Although I feel that I’ve given you more than enough reason not to!

Discussion

• The game is crap – what more could you possibly want to hear at this point!?

Video Review Out!

Hey guys! I’ve completed my first ever video review. It’s on, you guessed it, Rogue Warrior! Check it out here: eGamer/VideoReview/RogueWarrior