People Get Hung Up On The Most Pointless Things

If you don’t understand Richard’s column, don’t worry. There’s a picture of Mila Kunis. Read the rest of his work here. — Ed

Today I would like to talk about the ability to use the Sands of Time like our favourite Prince did. Imagine you could do something incredibly stupid, only to be able to go back in time and save yourself disaster. Well, you’re in luck! Because such a thing exists! All you need is..

A Winch! (That’s right folks, after months of procrastination I’m finally going to give this a bash.)

In the Top Gear Special where they went through the Amazon Forest, almost every time they managed to get themselves into a bad position they could just winch their way to glory and beyond. They hauled themselves out from ditches, rivers, wells and potholes, and eventually became victorious in their quest.

That just doesn’t sound right, does it. I mean, winches probably prove to be quite useful in construction, but for something to have lying around the house? I really don’t think so. If you do have one lying around the house, I think the realisation that you get your kicks from winching should be enough to get you to change professions to “starting a suicide cult”.

Winches are just not exciting. It’s things like winches and the pulley, World of Warcraft and the 2^nd and 3^rd Matrix movie, that make our society so horrible to live in. Winches and pulleys are integral to most machines – who cares? World of Warcraft – who cares? 2^nd and 3^rd Matrix movie – who cares?

I, do not. And I think that the attitude to female gamers should be the same way. They are just people, except with slightly different anatomy. Now I know to some this may be a never experienced possibility, but get real.

The chances are slim.

Who cares if girls play online? In fact, most guys will probably find it awesome if they could jam some Xbox with their girlfriends, and not have to play easy. Case in point, Mila Kunis, displayed here:

She is a self confessed hardcore WoW player. Does that make her more attractive? Hells yeah. She spends most of her spare timing raiding and PvP’ing. Just imagine that LAN!

So yes girl gamers out there, we luff it when you tork forren. I mean gamer. But you are nothing special. Minorities just aren’t cool anymore. So don’t look for special treatment, and be good. Who knows, maybe one day, you’ll get to play Computer in the kitchen.