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What Videogame Character Name Would You Use If You Became A Porn Star?

What Videogame Character Name Would You Use If You Became A Porn Star?

If your job was to work ‘the pole’ every day, what would you call yourself? It’s pretty evident and obvious that porn stars have fancy and exotic names, but would videogame character names suffice? Will the names of these characters be able to lure guys to watch them as they moan like tractors, revealing everything they got?

Of course if porn isn’t for you, let’s include stripper names too. If you were a stripper, working the metal pole, what would you call yourself?

Personally, I think that ‘Alyx Vance’ from Half-Life 2 will work perfectly for both jobs. It’s got flavour and style. If this doesn’t make you want to watch her driving stick, almost nothing will.

What I don’t think will work is ‘GLaDOS’. To be honest, I don’t possibly see how ‘GLaDOS’ could lure anyone, except maybe RoboCop. Probably not the greatest porn star, or stripper, name.

Lastly, depending on the type of film being filmed, ‘Rebecca Chambers’ might just work. If you know what I mean.

Of course you could also opt for the male porn star, or stripper, route. With this, you could use names like ‘Nathan Drake’ and quite possibly ‘Batman’. Your call. Let us know what you’d use — male or female.

This question comes from Yashaar Mall.

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Name: Dean Oberholzer
Location: Cape Town
Position: Editor

  • AG_Sonday

    Kratos would just work perfectly

    • kluch

      You bastard was just about to say that

  • kluch
  • http://www.facebook.com/brendon.bosch Brendon Bosch

    LOL a man of his word. Glad to see you actually wrote the article

    You know i had to get all Mass Effect here – KELLY CHAMBERS. It sounds so sweet and naughty at the same time

  • alcoholiday

    “Personally, I think that ‘Alyx Vance’ from Half-Life 2 will work
    perfectly for both jobs. It’s got flavour, style and no vowels in the
    first name.” – A is definitely a vowel. Unless it was a deliberate ‘error’.

    • http://egamer.co.za Dean Oberholzer

      I hate life. I shouldn’t write things when I wake up. :/ Edit-o-clock.

  • Treble

    I would say Shepard we all know how much of a slut he is

    • AG_Sonday

       LOL, that would be one busy porno.

  • http://egamer.co.za Dean Oberholzer

    From Twitter: @Lonthor:twitter
    https://twitter.com/#!/Lonthor/status/187129323126403072

    “I don’t think Solid Snake can be beaten :D.”

  • Sn0rlax

    Max Payne.

    Bru, that co-star will know payne when I am done with her. :DDDDDDDD

  • http://egamer.co.za/author/cavie Caveshen “CaViE” Rajman

    Womb Raider? 

    • http://egamer.co.za Dean Oberholzer

      OH! Remind me which game Womb Raider is from again.

  • http://egamer.co.za/author/cavie Caveshen “CaViE” Rajman

    Snake Beater? 

  • http://egamer.co.za/author/cavie Caveshen “CaViE” Rajman

    Geralt of Rivia? (’nuff said)

  • Cloud Strife

    Why Cloud Strife ofcourse!

  • SairenSA

    Sam Fisher (yesh… a budget movie)

  • Yashaar Mall

    a slightly augmented form of The Joker -> The Jerker