Animals That Roam The Gaming Landscape

On a murky, sunny afternoon, the landscape teems with all kinds of wildlife. From innocent and harmless little critters to the most fearsome and bloodthirsty cretins. Every movement a possible danger. Every shrub a potential for reproduction. Many animals live to be mere prey to some higher authority. Chewing at the short stubs of grass, never knowing if it might be their last breath. The animals inhabiting these landscapes are the portrayal of variety themselves. So it is in the wilderness of gaming as well.

Marko elaborated on the various types of gamers out there, and I wish to talk about some them and their play-styles, as well as their wildlife counterparts. Grab your binoculars, we’re doing some sightseeing over here.

 

Calm and Quiet: Brother Sloth

Sure, some of us can stay stay calm during a barrage of Necomorphs, while some of us go bonkers and discover our inner feminine-self. And have an altogether good time playing almost anything. Be it casual Wii games or full-on harcore masochistic titles such as Demon Souls and Dark Souls, these sloth-like gamers stay calm. What is the sloth’s secret to staying calm during any situation? We will never know, we can only assume. My thesis: Marijuana.

 

Hardcore and Tough: Mr. Crocodile

These are the main bitches, tough as nails and apparently also eat said nails for breakfast, lunch and supper. Hell, even a midnight nail snack as well. Playing a game without any decrease in speed or mercy.  Never neglecting said game till it is done and dusted. Playing the game on the most excruciating and merciless difficulty is suicidal, but to these people it is cakewalk through a colorful park filled with unicorns. Gaming crocodiles are so bad-ass, they will break a controller by merely flexing their pinky and put it back together, only using, double-sided tape and their bad-ass wits. My thesis: 1.29 Kiloliter’s worth of steroids.

 

Careful and Cautious: Mama Chicken

The gaming chickens are known for, well, being a chicken. They don’t really want to play competitively or something difficult. Gaming consists mainly out of  occasional fun. They are known for their quick and swift retreat. making it very easy for the aforementioned Crocodiles to swoop in and claim victory without the slightest scent of a fight. Come to think of it, how is it possible for a crocodile to swoop in and claim victory? They don’t even have any flying-apparatuses. It could be all the bad-ass-ness forming a vacuum and propelling him into the air and on purpose landing on the little feathery hen? We can only speculate. Word of warning: When a chicken is driven too far over the edge, be ready to run like hell, they will give chase and kick the living crap out of you. My thesis: Made from pure awesome, just insanely cautious.

 

Seeking Danger and Thrills: Uncle Warthog

You thought I was going to say lion of bull, didn’t you? It was my initial choice, but my mind kept redirecting me to this warthog. Have a gander and let’s continue. These are the hardy thrill-seekers of the gaming landscape. They WANT danger. They NEED danger. They LIVE on the essence of danger. Maybe not as well known as the crocodile, but puts up more than enough of a challenge. These fellas will go out and buy the most horrific and violent horror games you can get your hooves on. The adrenaline infused gameplay is a necessity. My thesis: Not enough hugs during childhood.

 

Nocturnal: Good Old Owl

Gaming owls can get by with little to no sleep. Instead, they go into a trance-like state where everything gets fuzzy and they to move into “Restoration-Mode”. This is usually when the sun is shining. You’ll still see one every now and then, but only when you absolutely do your best at searching. They go only where they need to be to survive. Any other activities involve gaming till the wee hours and enriching their gaming knowledge with said hours. My thesis: Caffiene

 

Conclusion

The gaming landscape is filled with all sorts of creatures. There are literally thousands of examples you can incorporate and compare to the colorful and coded-world of gaming. Tell us what your role is in the Gaming-Safari.