Justin Bieber Could Be An “Ultimate” Gamer

While you’re probably inclined to disagree, passionately, purely because it’s Justin Bieber, I do believe that this stands a chance. Apart from Bieber being young, talented, and pretty darn rich, he might just be the gamer we’ve been looking for.

Well, that’s if he played games as passionately as we do. It’s known that Bieber prefers sports games, which is great — especially since these are the hot-headed gamers one comes into contact with on a daily basis. Think FIFA, Madden, NBK, Call of Duty, and Battlefield 3 gamers.

It’s more than fair to say that apart from questionable songs regarding love at the age of 15, Bieber is talented. He is as popular as he is because he can actually sing, and as I mentioned, the question is whether or not love songs were right for him at the age of 15. Apart from this criticism, Bieber is no less human or manly than any one of us.

In the opening scene of One Time, Bieber’s first single, he is playing Xbox 360 with a friend. It’s a shooting game, as he noted that he just killed his buddy. So, with that in mind, he’s already better than his friend. Let’s count that as the first step to becoming the “ultimate” gamer.

Yes, it was setup to be that way. Relax.

There’s many facets to gaming, and with that we can comment on whether people will or could possibly become “ultimate” gamers.

 

Win Or Lose, It Doesn’t Matter

Winning and losing comes hand-in-hand with playing competitive games, and we’ve already established that Bieber is a competitive gamer. With that in mind, if he wins he already clears the hurdle of being the “better” gamer. Therefore, let’s not comment on winning as it’s reasonably possible that with all the free time he has, being a millionaire and all, that he could quite possibly play enough competitive games to whip each and every single one of us.

Onto losing, then. One can tell a lot about another based on how well they lose. People react very differently to losing, some are very diplomatic and some cannot stand it. Those who cannot stand it are the type to throw the controller, or just curse uncontrollably. Others are indifferent, but for the point of this article, let’s work with the two extremes.

If Justin Bieber had to lose a game, despite seeming quite pompous when winning (see: opening scene to One Time), I suspect that he would take it well. He wouldn’t bitch, moan and call you silly names.

He wouldn’t do this because, win or lose, he’s still young, talented, rich, and will get more attention from more girls than you could ever possibly dream about. Let’s be honest, he makes girls violently wet. Including your sister.

A diplomatic loser, I suspect. But only because he has everything we don’t, so we’ll need to win to prove that we’re at least better at something. I don’t think that he will mind.

 

Your Mother

Unlike winning and losing, badmouthing isn’t an integral part to gaming. Instead, gamers added this facet themselves.

Badmouthing has become so common that we actually joke about it, and expect it. Badmouthing becomes part of every game of Halo, Dota, Counter-Strike, Call of Duty, FIFA and so on. It’s almost impossible to play in a public lobby without someone claiming to have either: (1) fucked your mother; (2) be fucking your mother; (3) planning to fuck your mother. In fact, it’s quite upsetting to play a game where this doesn’t happen. Whenever you’re being cursed at, you know you’re doing something right. Keep at it.

With Justin Bieber, this will be somewhat different, for two reasons.

Due to all the hatred that Bieber already gets, any badmouthing will probably and most likely go unnoticed. He seems tough enough to shrug this off. And because it’s Justin Bieber, win or lose, people will always claim to be banging his mom behind the washing machine. It’s a territorial thing, where he’s almost destined to be taunted.

Bieber gets enough flack about being a pre-teen, a girl, not hitting puberty, etc. that he would easily shrug any and all of these comments off without hassle. Once again, not taking offense and raging back is key to becoming an “ultimate” gamer. Don’t you think?

Gamers need to be diplomatic if they are to promote the enjoyment.

With Bieber being the sole-target in each and every single game, it means that other players in the game won’t be taunted. If other players won’t get taunted, they might actually have an enjoyable game without having to be offended or get aggressive because of stupid remarks. If anything, Bieber will be doing everyone else a favour by taking all the attention and letting you focus on your game, where you can unwind and kill any and everything you see.

How nice is that? Surely that adds to the title.

 

Boyfriend

Ladies, you’re known for bitching about guys playing games all the time. Now, it’s not all of you, but it sure is most of you. Those in relationships, hasn’t gaming taken a bit of a backseat because someone needs a bit more attention than usual? And it’s annoying, because who the fuck needs waffles and vanilla-flavoured milk at one in the fucking morning?

It’s frustrating that once in a relationship gaming could take a backseat. Or at least be hindered enough that you cannot finish the main releases for a particular quarter of the year, something you’ve done all your life, when you were destined to be Forever Alone.

Seeing as we’ve covered that Justin Bieber doesn’t need to worry about this, because he’d play competitive games — meaning he’d only play one title at a time — he can have a girlfriend. With that, he’d also be able to provide for her, and not just sit all day and night without a job playing games. We’ve previously established through tonnes of YouTube videos that girls like to destroy the consoles of boyfriend’s who sit and play games without looking for a job.

According to Bieber’s single “Boyfriend”:

If I was your boyfriend, never let you go Keep you on my arm girl, you’d never be alone I can be a gentleman, anything you want If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go, I’d never let you go

With that, I’m utterly convinced that he would let her play games with him, when he plays, but he will also do what she wants. So, expect to see him buying fucking waffles and vanilla-flavoured milk at one in fucking the morning.

Gamers are meant to be of a higher standard. We’re meant to be ones who people can look to for help and support. With Bieber being able to do this, surely this should add to his wonderful résumé of “ultimate” gamer.

 

The Conclusion

With all the above in mind, Bieber is a contender for the “ultimate” gamer title. Of course, any and everyone can be the ultimate gamer — even you. Not to mention, more than one person can be an “ultimate” gamer at any point, so don’t stress.

And, before you scream, an “ultimate” gamer is merely someone who can be diplomatic, supportive, enjoy the passion and also promote it without making it look bad. If you can do all of that, surely you’re just like Bieber, except you won’t be able to sing as well as he can.

Unless you’re Michael Bublé, but that’s a story for another day.