Seduce Me Is An RPG You Can Fap To — Expect More Bans On Steam

If you’ve been keeping a weather eye on the news of late, you must have heard of Valve’s removal of Seduce Me, a game from Dutch developer No Reply Games, from Steam Greenlight — a place where indie developers may go to share their ideas with gamers and get feedback and constructive criticism. Apparently it’s okay to have decapitations and strong language in a game but as long as a penis doesn’t touch a vagina it’s alright.

Confusing then when you consider that The Witcher 2 is readily available for purchase and download via Steam.

Nonetheless gamers have been in uproar on either side, and it’s been quite a mixed bag of responses consisting of those who favour the game’s developers and those who favour Steam’s terms of use which states that offensive content will be removed, but doesn’t explain what constitutes offensive. And there have been confessions from both sides that while the content is indeed offensive to some, it shouldn’t be enough to keep it out of Greenlight.

Then a revelation was made. A grand old discovery that Seduce Me is in fact a climactic role playing game. You pick up a broad who catches your eye, dine her and date her and hopefully give her the D. Watch for yourself if you’d like. That’s very much like a role playing game, in more than one way.

If you think about it, in other role playing games the concept is the same. And by the end of it, it is the player who is rewarded, regardless of their questing. Assuming they perform all tasks adequately.

With Seduce Me being essentially a dating RPG, would that then allow Valve to accept it on Steam? Or is the gratuitous sex or allusion to such too much for the humble developer which flaunts The Witcher 2 during sales, for all and sundry to see? What if we called it a D-RPG? You can decide what the D stands for.

Alternatively if that’s still not fine then I would expect many more bans from Steam, as more games are flagged as offensive. Indigo Prophecy, for one. Anything from CD Projekt. I saw some sex in The Darkness II as well.

In essence though, Seduce Me is an RPG. A dating-based RPG that rewards players with a climax. Like masturbation, basically. And that would ring truer since just like in an RPG, you are basically playing with yourself… Just be sure you’ve maxed out one-handed.

This is troubling considering how many RPGs I’ve played this year.