Peaception: What Sort Of Boyfriend Would Your Least Favourite Games Be?

Disappointment. It’s something every gamer has experienced once, or twice, or thrice, or ten times when it comes to games not delivering on the promised or expected experience.

For me there have been some games that have been actually critically acclaimed that try as I might I just couldn’t see why. So if these games were a boyfriend, what sort of boyfriend would they be? Read on to find out.

 

Skyrim

The jack of all trades boyfriend:

I think most people are familiar with this guy. He does everything: part time musician, part time writer, part time poet who aspires to be an actor and enjoys playing rugby and a bit of golf in his spare time. After the initial awe of knowing someone who is involved in so much, you begin to realise after peeling all off those layers that there is not much of a personality in there.

Skyrim to me was a failure compared to Morrowind or Oblivion because I expected the game to be an improvement on The Elder Scrolls series. All I got was dragons, never ending mindless quests and a world filled with characters that had the facial features of someone recovering from meth addiction. If I ever wanted to know what it felt like to be a pimp, Skyrim satisfied that need for me with the pointless marriage option, were you can collect money from your beloved spouse on a daily basis. The main reason why I loathe this game is because I know Bethesda are capable of doing better but they won’t because the reliable formula of offering gamers a big world with lots to do but with very little heart in it has earned them awards. Nothing about the game was immersive, it was just a game with a lot to do but not much of a pay off at the end. Fus Ro Dah, more like Fus Roh Dumb.

 

Mass Effect 3

The long term boyfriend going through a mid-life crisis:

The reliable boyfriend who after reaching a milestone, suddenly changes. Now he wants to hang out with the younger crowd, dress and talk like them just so he looks cool. The only reason you are still with him is because you remember the old and reliable him who never cared much about fitting in and made you so happy but sooner or later you realise unless he catches a wakeup call your time with him is done because things are just not the same any more.

I love BioWare games, been a fan since Baldur’s Gate and when Mass Effect came out I was hooked. Don’t get me wrong, it had its faults both on a technical and gameplay level but I still loved it. With Mass Effect 2, I was still hooked and decided to overlook the short main story and annoying planet scans and enjoy the continuation of what was to me an EPIC story. Mass Effect 3 released and I was dumbstruck over why there were such glaring changes. Even though the MP didn’t detract from the singleplayer it was just not necessary and now I had 3 options in the way I played the game, either story mode were I just talk everyone to death or action mode where there is less talking and more killing and RPG mode which balances both combat and conversations. There was once a time when BioWare knew what sort of experience they wanted to give gamers. I long for those days and not confusing options.

Also Shepard and some of the old crew are gay and there is still not a huge impact or difference that your imported decisions from the previous games make. BioWare had a foolproof plan for Mass Effect 3: improve on the failings of the 2^nd and just do what they do best, make awesome games. But they just had to try and please everyone and cater for a new audience. What happened to being unapologetic for your product? Bioware RPGs have never been action-oriented, the focus has been always on the story and the characters so why start changing now? It made no sense and when I played Mass Effect 3, I found I couldn’t finish the game because it wasn’t the game I fell in love with any more.

 

Red Dead Redemption

The old fashioned lovable boyfriend but you can’t stop thinking about his cousin:

He is reliable, trustworthy, honest, a gentleman and you are in a comfortable relationship with him. The only problem is you used to date his cousin before you met him and you can’t help but compare all the fun you had with his cousin and all the fun you are not having with him.

It’s my fault I had just come off a heavy GTA IV binge when I stated playing RDR, therefore comparing the two games is just plain stupid but I found myself doing just that. I struggled to connect to John or to even care about his mission. The characters I came across in the course of playing the game were forgettable and after accidentally shooting my horse (again) I asked myself, “What the hell am I doing with this game?” While roaming the west by my lonesome I actually found myself craving a radio even though I have to admit the song that played when I first arrived in Mexico was on another level of awesome. I can’t even point out faults in the game because it was a pretty good game but I just found it dull and not having found the motivation to actually continue playing it I just stopped and never completed the game. As the years have gone past I have had doubts on my initial reaction to the game and have decided to play it again but not now definitely. Soon though, and who knows, maybe my opinion of it might change.

 

Journey

The artsy fartsy boyfriend:

This is a special breed of boyfriend. He is into music you have never heard of, has read books that even Google can’t help you find and a general discussion with him is so complicated and convoluted that sometimes you need to do a mental check with yourself if he is actually speaking in a foreign language or if your brain is just too slow and not processing fast enough. You find yourself thinking he is a genius when actually he is not.

I hear people sharpening their pitchforks and thinking, “She had better not be referring to THE Journey,” yes I am referring to Journey, winner of GOTY from multiple gaming sites, and I still don’t get why? I played this game and I loved it and as soon as finished playing it I wanted to play it again. What I don’t get is the numerous praises this game has received. What’s mind-blowing about a robed silent guy with a penchant for scarves roaming the desert with one main goal of reaching this mystical faraway mountain? Most people will be like, “It’s the journey that’s important and not the goal,” and they would be right and the journey in itself is not special, except visually. It’s beautiful, you get some really sparkly sand and snow that looks really cold. Has Thatgamecompany packaged a conceptually simple game and tricked most gamers into thinking it’s something genius and special? Yes they did and kudos to them because it worked out. This is a good game that every gamer should at least try out when they need a break from the other faster paced games. It’s not ground-breaking, it’s just a simple game made out to be complex with hidden depths to it. Not worth all the hype it got in my opinion but still a good game to pass a few hours.

 

I feel the need to add this; this is my opinion and if any of the games I listed brought you joy then I’m happy for you and please redeem a free cookie from me.