They say that change is as good as a holiday. Who exactly they are, is a mystery. We may assume that it is some smart, intellectual group of old folk sitting in a room; puffing smoke inhaled through their pipes whilst scribbling down every philosophical and thought-provoking phrase that enters their minds. Be it about bread, walking along a forsaken road with withered grass blades poking out from the hardened soil, prostitution or in this case: change. Never running out of tobacco or alcoholic refreshments poured into spectacularly expensive glasses; never getting headaches, hangovers or fatigued hands from all the mesmerizing and now boiling-gray matter philosophies that are constantly pouring into their various minds.

The world is filled with these sayings and I must stop here with my personal thesis on a simple saying before I delve onto another train of thought till the point of how wisdom can be gained by growing a beard.

Change.

Change is a natural part of our world and some say that it is inevitable. Yes, new people enter the world and others leave it with or without intent. Change isn’t always as good as we might hope it to be, but sometimes not as bad as we expect it to turn out. Enough of my bantering about these heavy-hearted topics. We’re here to talk about games!

Change is a topic, don’t worry. It would’ve been weird to write that introduction and talk about why Mario can stomp on a Goomba, splintering its teeth and bruising its whole being without eventually cutting himself late at night due to guilt and then continue with the country’s economical infrastructure. So, without further ado…

I’ve been playing The Last Of Us over the past weekend and something really struck me. However, Joel’s face was repeatedly struck by Runners, Hunters and their choice of 2×4’s, pipes and baseball bats or his neck was repeatedly gnawed on by the menacing Clickers. (Who, by the way, are probably making for some of the most harrowing encounters.)

I haven’t played through the game in its entirety, but a few non-spoiler-infused thoughts emerged while playing.

According to my save, I’m 56% into the game and I may very well encounter even more hair-raising moments alongside a need for new pants, but from that time with the game, I noticed that almost all of the ideas within the game are ideas that we as gamers or entertainment-seekers are familiar with. That is not a bad thing. On the contrary, it just proved to me that you can take certain themes or ideas and truly make them feel fresh. I cannot say that would apply to any and all ideas, but I can confirm that infusing an already familiar idea with enough care and know-how, you will feel the difference.

In the preview for The Last of Us, I wrote that one of the potential pitfalls for the game is that it may be seen as just another zombie game, where you encounter Infected beings and Tourette’s syndrome-addled humans with enough provided weapons and ammunition for you to plough through them like a very enthusiastic squirrel making love with its favourite tree branch.

I’m really not going into the story or gameplay with detail, so you who has yet to play the game may let go of your pitchforks.

Humans struggling for survival: nothing new. Humans killing each other for something trivial in the name of survival: nothing new. Infected enemies: nothing new. Scarcity of ammunition: nothing new. Melee and gunplay combat used together: nothing new. Tension: nothing new.

All of these are well known ideas, but the execution of these all but new ideas is where the key lies. I’ve not read a single review about this game (due to various reasons), so if someone stated this already; my sincerest of apologies. It was the one aspect that really made me pause the game and wander around in my thoughts.

The Last of Us proves that games can be invigorated with familiar themes and ideas without it feeling as though it has been ripping off another game.

Go play it, you won’t be sorry. (Your trousers might be.)

Amidst the madness that is E3; currently underway in full swing, I had the idea of asking you good folk in regards to your caring towards this mountainous event.

I myself would love to watch the press conferences live, but we cannot all have what we please. (I knew I shouldn’t have opted for those glass-trousers) When it comes to pretty much every event like this, I wait for articles to surface and tend to watch videos for those titles that piqued my interest.

The idea of this E3, however, caught me with a lot of mixed emotions and cluttered feelings. The reason for that, being the fact that so many announcements will be for consoles that no one in the general public are actually in possession of at this very moment.

Having heard about or seen footage of an upcoming title for a platform you already own makes for some great and joyous anticipation, not to mention the satisfaction of your current platform. My excitement for a title like BioShock Infinite wouldn’t have been so tremendous if it was announced as a next-generation title. That wouldn’t be due to anything remotely connected to the gameplay or anything along those lines; a lot of that would be subdued because I don’t own the platform it’s been announced for.

However, on the flip side, I/we hope for more clarity about this next-generation mess. I would be much more excited about any given title if I knew more about the PlayStation 4 of Xbox One, and we have much more information to help in making a decision.

I’ve been keeping my trap shut for a while now regarding the entirety of this next-gen malarkey. That’s because I wanted clarity in regards to being always connected or not (which would be a relative deal breaker for many, including myself), the prices of each console and their respective release dates. Only then will I be happy to look forward to any games that strike my fancy.

Judging from details we had going into E3, it looked like a desperate attempt from a group of money-hungry corporate suits; not that of a console-manufacturer. Our current consoles have sold fine thus far without integrated-Television or DRM or Television or fancy gimmicks or Television.

However, now that so much has been revealed by last night’s happenings at E3, I feel that most of what worried me has been made considerably less by Sony. InFamous: Second Son, Quantum Break, Metal Gear Solid 5 and TitanFall look like the games that have me excited for the next-generation. More will pop-up and I’m sure most of us will be scheming or are already underway with plans to rob a few outlet stores to afford this next step of our passionate hobby.

My current preferred platform is my Xbox 360, so naturally I wanted to go for the next Xbox before it was revealed, but Sony totally won me over with this video last night. Pure poetry in my eyes.

Taking into account the additional information we now have locked in our craniums, what console will you be buying? It’s rather obvious, I think. Which games caught your undying attention and do you feel that Microsoft will change their tactics due to Sony’s take on second-hand games?

I personally think they will have to reconsider their current tactics to second-hand games and the DRM issue. I want every platform to be as free and unrestricted as the current generation is.

Stay tuned for more E3 goodness right here on eGamer.

We all love a good story.

The world is fascinated by these creations and we enjoy to be told something beyond our everyday life. Now, some of us may have had the experience to sit on someone’s lap and momentarily be taken away by the words that flow from the storyteller’s mouth. A bed time story here and a ghost story there, but say what you will, a good story is worth listening to. I will say with absolute certainty that the characters from Resident Evil will have no shortage of stories to tell their children or perhaps grandchildren. All depending on the amount of time they have before a slime-monster chews off something important.

I don’t necessarily see the characters of Resident Evil to be the “sit on my lap and let me tell you a story” type, but for all I know, there is someone right now cosplaying Chris Redfield, telling the wondrous tale to his nestling and his / her respective siblings of how he almost became an oozing monstrosity’s snack aboard the Queen Zenobia. The child may run off, clearly appalled by the intense detail of the being’s twitch-like movements and groans while standing in the dark; plotting the idea of his next portion.

The characters from Resident Evil return with the HD re-release of Resident Evil Revelations. We are transported, yet again to the perilous world filled with viruses and corporations with too much money and too little patience for their fellow human beings.

Our story begins in 2005; in the time between Resident Evil 4 and Resident Evil 5.

Jill Valentine; whom the player controls for most of the game, and her partner Parker Luciani takes off in pursuit of Chris Redfield and his new partner, Jessica Sherawat. The B.S.A.A. has lost contact with Chris and Jessica, resulting in Jill and Parker to find their special agent behinds and make sure they’re still in an intact and breathing state.

However, Chris and Jessica establish contact with the head of the B.S.A.A., Clive O’Brian and by the time these details surface; contact is lost with Jill and Parker when they’ve already boarded the Queen Zenobia – the ship which appeared to be Chris and Jessica’s last known location. (It’s one convoluted clutter when it comes to communication with these guys. All of this could’ve been avoided if Clive just instructed Jill and Parker to have a few cups of chamomile tea. Although, come to think of it, if he hadn’t sent them, Chris and Jessica might’ve been devoured while Jill and Parker were enjoying their hot beverages.)

Chaos has broken loose before all of these miscommunications on a man-made island named Terragrigia. The aforementioned chaos caused by a bio-terrorist organization named Il Veltro. The island’s destruction was brought forth by their hand and the unleashing of “Hunters”, a “biological weapon” in the form of scaled cretins with gleaming claws and a more than healthy appetite. Veltro has surfaced again according to the findings on the Queen Zenobia and the story unfolds little by little.

The “Revelations” part of the game’s title is quite descriptive in regards to the story and how it slowly unfolds and one can piece together events as you continue to play.

I think I’ll stop here for the sake of story spoilers. However, I can say that after a while, your trust in almost all the characters will start to grow inferior as time goes on.

The story is one of the main reasons I kept playing. I wanted to know what happens next and who these Veltro characters are and who will be dined upon next by the oozing monstrosities on-board the Queen Zenobia.

Let us converse about review-like discourse and technical talk.

Firstly, I will just state here that I haven’t played Resident Evil 6 as yet and despite many people’s disliking towards it, I still want to play it. Any comparisons that I make here will be in regards to both resident Evil 4 and 5.

The gameplay is fun, but not without its issues. We have the standard Resident Evil over the shoulder camera, but with a few changes made for better and unfortunately, worse as well.

The game has been ported to PC, Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 from the original release on the 3DS. I’m not nearly familiar with that version, but you may notice some technical hiccups along your journey.

The aiming feels a little stiff when you are not aiming up and down or left to right; so diagonally-purposed precision proves to be a minor annoyance. It is not a deal breaker, far from it, but clearly noticeable if you’ve played other over the shoulder third person shooters like Alan Wake, Gears of War or even Dead Space. This is ironic because so many of these games have been said to “copy” the camera angle and gunplay from Resident Evil 4. You may move around while aiming which truly feels welcome after Resident Evil 4 and 5 locked you into place where you stood whilst aiming.

Exploration is an integral part of gameplay purely due to the welcoming fact that this addition to the Resident Evil series is not focused on pure action with a side-dish of creepiness for those who look seek very hard to find it. It relies on tension and a desperate shortage of supplies to keep you on your toes. You are not bombarded by hordes of oozing monstrosities that has been the result of the T-Abyss Virus, but by only sending enough of these T-Abyss Virus-infused fiends after your buttocks to make life all the more difficult for whoever it is you are controlling.

I had to backtrack on more than a few occasions during combat to search for precious ammunition and life-saving herbs. At three separate times did I run away from twitching freaks for the sake of my dwindling health and lack of any and all spare lead projectiles. Dead Space 3 was liked or absolutely hated for its action / co-op direction, but say what you will; you very rarely ran out of ammo. The Necromorphs took a lot of abuse from your acid-spewing machine gun and flamethrower combo, but in the case of Revelations, we have relatively durable enemies that forces you to make every shot count and that is something I truly enjoyed. One cannot go in guns blazing with a pray and spray plan of action, you’ll be sorry and end up using your knife to kill an Ooze with the danger of your dodge mechanic not behaving itself. The game’s difficulty curve is tremendously inconsistent. You’ll parade the hallways with little trouble and before you know it, you will face a bullet-sponge enemy type.

My biggest gripe with this game is the way you have to dodge. It doesn’t work and when it does, 95% of the times will be accidental. I don’t know if it was just me, but a simple dodge button would’ve worked wonders when using the left analogue stick in the desired direction and pressing a button. Instead you have to anticipate the time and angle of the attack and either dodge sideways or forward; underneath the slime-monster’s perspiring armpit. Once again, this isn’t a deal breaker, but it will no doubt infuriate even the most patient of gamers.

Weapons can be upgraded to increase damage, reload times, capacity of the weapon’s magazine or add additional effects, like stopping power or the chance to daze enemies for a few moments. When an enemy is dazed you will have a chance for a few clear shots or run close to deliver a melee attack. Risking the second option is quite rewarding, but if you are a fraction too late you have darn good chance to be pounced and chewed on.

These weapon upgrades can be found by exploring like a madman and acquiring access to previously locked doors and safes. These upgrades will help a great deal with boss characters or enemies that need to be disposed of from a distance.

Weapon variety is pretty much exactly like that of Resident Evil 4. Pistols, assault rifles, long-ranged rifles, shotguns, Magnum pistols and RPG’s. Ammunition for the Magnum pistols are especially scarce and with the right aim, those few bullets will save your life time and time again.

Upgrades can only be applied at various weapon crates scattered around the ship and other unnamed locations.

You will encounter a few easily beaten puzzles along the way. Ranging from hitting certain switches in the right order to access areas guarded by laser-grids and untangling the wires of a small panel next to a doorway and connecting the correct nodes in the right places. There is no hair-pulling frustration involved here; merely a change of pace and gameplay not solely consisting of pointing dangerous things to hostile growly monsters.

You will acquire a scanning device early on in the game granting you the ability to find hidden supplies. When you bring up the device by pressing the left shoulder-button on the controller the view will change to a first-person camera. You may research enemies while they are alive or lying in their own respective puddle of ooze. You will gain a certain percentage depending on the state and class of the enemy. When your research counter reaches 100%, you will be granted an additional herb and simultaneously resetting the counter to 0% and you may research away once again. More than a few times did my obsessive nature to scan ALL the enemies and puddles prove to be vital in assisting me with extra herbs. Be sure to scan each and every room for these extra supplies as well as the shuffling abnormalities that inhabit the ship.

In a nutshell, the gameplay is not without its number of issues, but it gets the job done.

The visuals of the game are of an inconsistent nature. In some areas you will clearly be able to notice the fact that this game was originally designed for a less-capable platform and some textures aren’t too relaxing on the eyes.

The main characters’ models are not harsh on your eyes, but it isn’t quite as detailed as Resident Evil 5. Some areas look rather nice and two certain boss characters possess a nice array of grim details.

The interior in most parts of the ship is gray and lifeless. I cannot see any crew members able to withdraw from the suicidal thoughts in their minds after some time on this ship. A cafeteria with good lighting and warm colours made a nice change of scenery alongside a similar looking, multi-leveled foyer with beautiful orchestral music playing in the background. This made me feel as though this place could perhaps be inhabited without you wanting to chew your fingers off due to grayscale depression, but not before long were we back in the cold, grayish and metal-lined areas.

When transitioning from one area to another via an elevator or door with a complex locking mechanism, you will clearly notice a stutter in movement alongside visual glitches.

The game’s soundtrack and sound effects are to me personally a high-note. The soundtrack creates the appropriate tension without blaring an entire orchestra whose members are crawling with ants in their pants and own their own little dose of itching powder evenly poured over any and all apparel.

The sounds emitted from the monstrosities are very unnerving at first. I recall a certain enemy type with a gaping suction-like pipe emanating from its back and a bone-like saw for one hand, repeatedly saying: “I NEED HUG.” Simply hair-raising. The game’s soundtrack and effects receives a well deserved thumbs-up from me.

A vague-at-first story, slowly unfolding as you jump from character to character in different times make for an interesting mystery and although the campaign can be completed in about 8 to 12 hours; it kept me interested. Nothing Oscar-worthy, but definitely more than “shoot ALL the blokes”. Your AI partners may slam the door in your face like an angry spouse, but they add to the story, despite their weapons being as useful to some enemies as a baby sparrow furiously jumping on the enemy’s head with a mass of 20 soft and cuddly grams.

An additional game mode can be accessed from the main menu: “Raid Mode”. A solo and / or cooperative online mode where you clear environments of the campaign with increasingly powerful enemies. You level up as you gain experience and extra experience can be rewarded by completing a level with a higher level expectancy than your current one and exterminating the entire onslaught of enemies in the given stage.

It makes for good fun while leveling up and gaining more powerful weapons as you progress. The powerful weapons have much longer loading times than their equals in the campaign, but you may use upgrades that you acquire by leveling up and clearing stages to improve accuracy and reload times.

The enemies all have health bars floating above their heads, lending this mode with a more arcade-like feel. Every now and then you’ll encounter an enemy with a small emblem next to their health bar, showing you this particular enemy’s unique characteristic. Some will be more mountainous than in the campaign; being slower albeit more stronger and can soak up a lot of bullets. Others will be smaller and faster. While some remain the same, they just deal a considerable amount of damage. Ammunition isn’t as scarce in this mode, but you’ll still have to be certain before firing.

Online matches lagged a great deal and sometimes I couldn’t even find a match. Solo is still fun, but if you have a buddy or two with this game it’ll provide some merriment.

You know that feeling.

The warm enclosure of sunlight engulfing your skin. The sweet tang of a cold perspiring glass against the skin of you hand containing that of your favourite soft drink while your thoughts are only captivated by the sheer relaxed mood you find yourself in. All the worries of the world that long ago slid off your shoulders are now only to be found in the abysmal depths of city life. You are completely calm and needn’t worry about a thing while your ultimate state of zen is undisturbed by that of work, studies and household problems.

If you are not the outdoors-y type, you may prefer a movie, book or game of your choosing while knocking back a similar perspiring glass or hot beverage – depending on the setting your climate is currently set to.

Yes, this is the life.

Actually, no it isn’t.

It is exam time and little mercy is to be had in regards to free time and precious gaming instances. The thought that captivates my mind without any written or signature-bearing consent is that this will only get worse in the year and rest of our lives life to come, where death will be the only release. Only then will we be left to our own devices with the much needed time for gaming.

What is that I hear you asking? “Rudolf, why so glum? Of course, exam time is that of studying and paving a future for yourself. Don’t be disheartened by the temporal nature and temporary absence of gaming.”

While I’m inclined to agree with our lovely readers; I’m going to stop you there. Whenever I avert my eyes to the left-hand side of my current location, I see a review copy of Resident Evil Revelations waiting to be played further. I am halfway there, but the cruel and twisted ironies of life are that of exams and power-outages. What a lovely coupling of two horrors.

All of that aside, I really do feel a sense of threat nowadays when gaming is involved. Proof of that will be my lack of opinions regarding the Xbox One and PlayStation 4. I just don’t have the sufficient energy to worry about that now, which is really a big deal for me, because I genuinely care about the future of gaming. It is a hobby and entertainment medium, BUT it is also something I feel very compassionate about. It is an element to help me through all the aspects in my life. I will stop there; no need to run away from the complain train.

I MUST make time for games in equal measure than that of studying. A balance must be maintained. One cannot solely play games each and every day for the entirety of the whole day, but the same can be said in regards to studying. You’ll go crazy either way, or if you don’t end up shooting through the walls of a local care centre for the elderly, you’ll just be over it after a while.

Just as it is a sin to take months to finish a book.

I’ll leave you with this I’ve read from someone of Twitter: “You may never say that there are too many books. There just isn’t enough time.”

Take this into account with games and pretty much everything you feel passionate about. I’ve learned that the hard way, believe me. (I walk with those regrets everyday.)

Any artist, be they well known or not all round acclaimed by the masses; they leave their mark upon their work.

When roaming around someone’s house with walls alined with numerous paintings or antiques displayed on a substructure, displaying the item’s remarkable craft, one is bound to find a mark left by the maker or artist, be it a symbol or signature.

We buy books with an author’s name on the cover and perhaps an introduction or letter from the mentioned author. We watch movies with a distinct characteristic in terms of the directorial eye behind the film, perhaps they like to fade to white, instead of black. We see business’s with their own symbol. The world is trademarked. It is a way for the world to recognise one’s work.

When sitting through a game or movie’s credits, we see the names of the diverse group that worked on that project.

Every so often we find within the games we play an easter eggs that was left there by a programmer or artist. Not always easy to find, but noteworthy, nonetheless.

I’ve talked a little while back about easter eggs and their decreasing appearances. I may not be always aware of them and while they may be scarcer than in the past, a game like Borderlands 2 were brimmed with easter eggs.

A distinct moment that I won’t easily forget was when I encountered a room beneath the end boss character’s chamber in Quake 2. It was a room with a few supplies to help with the preposterously powered final boss, as well as a surprise left by the developers. id Software have always liked their “developer rooms” as seen in Rage in the distillery and Doom 3 when a certain stone with an id logo was pressed.

The surprise was a bunch of photos of a few key personal from id Software. One of which spat limbs from its jugular when you pressed a button. To my younger self, it was quite grotesque. A horrid site. A lovely sight.

Despite these little quips not always having something to do with the game and its story, I do find them very special and unique.

Even at the top and bottom of this article will you find my name. So, no touch-y. (I will also spit a severed limb, if necessary.)

Come here, child.

Let me tell you about the types of games out there. Sit on my lap and be transported to the land of polygons and emotions. (David Cage reference.)

You see, there are two types of games out there; games in a nice plastic encapsulation with a nice cover to stare at, and games without discs, covers and a complete lack of anything to stare at before playing.

Yes, we’re here today to talk about downloadable games. I genuinely wish I had more bandwidth in any given month to download more of these. The reason being that there’s some real gems out floating in cyberspace. Alone. In the arms of a cold and frosty embrace.

Today, we have the chance to explore a number of downloadable games that won’t be too nerve-wrecking on your monthly data.

Sit back and enjoy the following words on tiny-ish downloadable games. (If not, please enjoy the pictures.)

Castle Crashers

First off, this is not a new game. It released back in 2008, but I only had the opportunity to play it little more than a year ago.

It is filled with humour and quite a few non-sensible boss characters, but that’s one of the many things that make it enjoyable and fun to play.

A noteworthy mention must go to the art-style. Whenever a game looks like it has been painted, drawn or even both, it certainly will spark my curiosity.

Chaotic and over the top gets even more over anarchic when you and three buddies play together. It’s challenging and filled with charm. It gets my recommendation.

Swarm

I remember seeing this game’s very first trailer and it really caught my eye without much effort on my part.

It is definitely filled with charm and arcarde-y rampageous confusion. It’s also rather challenging.

You control 50 blue pudgy little organisms in a world with so many hazards, it makes Metro: Last Light seem like a youngster. (Obviously, I’m exaggerating, but once you take a gander at the sheer amount of hazards, you’ll see what I mean.)

Everything and I mean absolutely everything is out to chop, burn and eviscerate your little little group of swarmites. They’re a bunch of adorable cornball-witted little guys.

Spikes, traps, flame-spewing devices, narrow passages and even your own little dumb-belled little guys will make it difficult for you.

A small, fun, but oh, so sadistic downloadable title. Challenging, but reaching the level’s end with a massive score is simply gratifying. (Not an easy feat.)

Fez

Pretty much every title I’m mentioning does have its own way of personable charm and not the least bit generic, but in terms of charm, this one is filled with retro visuals and sound effects.

It’s quite enticing to know that a game in today’s world where every title tries to outwit every other game in the visual department, this one left its mark on me and a bunch of gamers out there with the simplistic look and controls.

You play as Gomez; a 2D character that acquires a fez by means of human trafficking and drug deals, that grants him the ability to explore the four different perspectives of his 3D world. (It doesn’t look 3D at first. Also, I’m merely being facetious about his methods.)

At first this world doesn’t resemble anything of a 3D nature, but due to a captivating art-style and charming sound effect, this one is a keeper, to me personally.

The puzzles can be really tricky, but don’t let that scare you away. An awesome platformer.

Journey

I’ve been referring to Journey quite a few times in recent months. There is so much to enjoy and appreciate. It really is one for a book with a list about some cool stuff. That sounded terrible. It’s one for the history books.

It’s quite a short game, but one you’ll definitely want to play it more than once. The visuals and soundtrack make for a truly unique experience.

Bastion

“Now The Kid sees somethin’ stranger still; his mind races.

Did anyone else survive?

Sure enough, he finds another. He finds me.”

Bastion adds a stunning narration to gameplay in a visually-rich world filled with a story that really stuck with me. It’s hard to put this one into a single genre, but I can say with absolute certainty that it’s stuffed in the “fun” department.

Simply one to play for a great narration, fun combat and memorable encounter in mouth-watering artistic, which looks hand-painted, terrain.

Conclusion

These were my stand-outs when taking size as well as impact into consideration. I’ll say that Bastion and Journey are my favourites, but the rest is guaranteed to provide some fun times as well.

If there is one thing I admire about gaming as an entertainment and escapism medium, except for pretty much everything else I adore to the very bone marrow, (not including Duke Nukem Forever; believe me I tried to like it) is the way it can teach you without teaching you.

I appreciate that is like saying a calculator without numbers on its buttons is much more effective at aiding you in the fiery pits of calculus, but what I’m trying to get at is the way a game can teach you its ways and tell you where to go without placing you in a tutorial-only environment or the use of an objective marker.

When one is playing a game you often forget that it is trying to tell you what I’ve mentioned above and you are quickly on your way to a particular mountain or selected place of slaughter.

I’ve had the opportunity, once again, over the past weekend to visit a friend’s house and my PS3 tagged along for the ride, without my descriptive consent and then upon arrival duck-taped the friend to a sofa, while gently placing the DualShock 3 in his hands and starting up Journey.

I was looking forward to share this game with my friends; only for the visuals and before long he finished it without that being my original intention. (Luckily it wasn’t Skyrim. We would’ve starved ourselves into the afterlife if that was the chosen game to spectate for the evening /month.) While I watched him play, in between all the push-ups and high quantities of steroids I’ve taken at the time, I looked at the game with a different perspective. Mostly due to the fact that I wasn’t playing, but what intrigued me was the fact that the game wasn’t telling him anything besides an alternate way to move the camera and to press circle for communicating / chirping. That was it.

While I watched his journey (hehe) unfold and surely nearing its end, I couldn’t help but notice the way the game was indirectly telling him where to go, where to take shelter and never deviating from the only destination he was making his way to.

I have to admit that my minor-sadistic side did take joy at one specific part in Journey and I do not wish to spoil it for those who have yet to play the game.

To summarise, I do enjoy the different ways we can look at a game, even though it is a game that is familiar to us; it’s just the point of view that has shifted.

Tension.

It is one of those feelings some gamers adore. We transfer ourselves into these worlds that gaming provides us and we WANT to be hunted. We want to be challenged; not just challenged in terms of our manual dexterity, but I think we want to be challenged mentally.

Not every gamer out there enjoys a good horror game, just like some movie enthusiasts don’t enjoy the gleaming scalpels of madmen and blood drizzled all over the many pixels of these other-worldly windows.

Let it be clear. I hate real tension. Be it between nations, races, family, friends or even total strangers battling it out in the supermarket over the choice of milk or brand of condoms; I hate it.

However, in games, books and movies it is a whole other ball game. See, I like those kinds of tension, because those tension-infused feelings portrayed within are fictional. Many blokes have raised an eyebrow when I stated that a book can provide tension, but that is a topic for another rainy day.

I started playing Metro: Last Light on release day, in the evening with headphones. Boy, did I not regret my time waiting during the afternoon. I’m one that wants to jump in immediately once I have my skuzzy flippers on the awaited game. Not the easiest of appendages to type with, mind you.

I am not being subjective about the game’s quality and that it turns into a much more refined game when the darkness creeps over this country with its slick tactile feeling members. It does however improve the immersion tenfold. The pitch dark room coupled together with the awesome-spewing headphones helps a great deal, but the game itself needs to have something to take advantage of these conditions.

I’m not saying that I bought the game and it had a recommendation slip saying that it is best to play it like this, but despite that, I did however inform a friend that it will be much more enriching like this. Look at this pretentious braggart, you might think, he’s telling me how to play my own game. Nah, it’s more like I’m the recommendation slip that might have come with the game. Lick me and post me to your gaming platform, fridge or geni… Or you can just throw the slip in the nearest fiery pit.

I played both Dead Space and Dead Space 2 with headphones on PC and while some of my acquaintances / friends might think that I’m being masochistic in nature by doing this, I’m not going to decline entirely. Yes, it tensed the crap out of me by playing it at night with headphones, but I just felt that I’m getting the full, non-sexual innuendo, package out of the game like this. The same can be said of the original F.E.A.R., but I played that game so many times that I more or less knew the locations of the blood-freckled dunces that wanted to claw / eat my eyes out.

I also followed this tradition with Amnesia: The Dark Descent and it really does make for one pants-besmirching endeavour. The Scarecrow sections in Batman Arkham Asylum also provided a pleasurable spasm, if you know what I mean.

It is actually working out quite well, with work and household stuff during the day and gaming at night with complete and utter conciliation.

Most of the games I’ve mentioned above are horror games and it really is the only genre I think that MUST be played like this. Some of these candidates do possess an atmosphere so thick that one might require a panga or a sharp object of your choosing to cut through it and I absolutely adore that quality.

On the contrary, both BioShock and BioShock Infinite had a great feel to it with headphones and myself being in a more composed state. Hearing the whales circling Rapture or the creaking buildings of Columbia made me an even bigger fanboy. (As if I could become a bigger fanboy and I admit that with zero shame.)

What I’m basically getting at if you’re just in the mood for reading the last bit, (and shame on your for doing that) when one’s more relaxed, it is in the evening or at night, and playing with headphones does make for a heck of an experience. You hear sounds and creepy cretins with much more clarity and butt-clenching anxiousness.

The heading of this article might be redundant to some, but I’m pretty stoked about the appearance of these little jests put into our present games. (Or rather the general lack thereof.)

I’ve been gaming for quite some time and I sincerely cannot imagine my life without these games and the fun they’ve provided so far.

In all fairness, most of my memories formed throughout my life contain glimpses of games and the “Awesome!” gesture or truism provided by them.

From the days of playing Prince of Persia on a DOS-propelled computer with a black and yellow screen all the way through till now with Metro: Last Light.

All those memories of mine have fragments of easter eggs and little quips the developers of X game put into it for those who wish to explore the world to the extent of sheer madness. Let’s be honest, easter eggs were hidden so incredibly well that most of us won’t even know about them. Driving past with a tank in the streets of Vice City, never knowing that a nearby building has an egg on a pedestal that is only accessible with a certain passable window. It really was something to be expected in one’s games, but almost impossible to know where one should look.

I’ve been playing Metro: Last Light over the weekend in between all the non- gaming related distractions and started to wonder about this matter when witnessing more than a few times, actually, the book of Metro 2033 and its follow-up, Metro 2034 by Dmitry Glukhovsky lying prone on a table. (The books, not the author.) Surely, most gamers will walk past this if they’re not the exploring type, but it still is in some degree an easter egg. Much more easily accessible, but an easter egg, nonetheless.

One table had the two existing books, Metro 2033, Metro 2034 and the yet to be completed Metro 2035.

This got me thinking about the lack of easter eggs lately. Sure, you have in BioShock Infinite the Possession Vigor with reversed Shakespearean quotations from Romeo and Juliet, but what happened to the crazy, over the top easter eggs?

I’ve heard / read multiple times that gaming is becoming more mature and all kinds of dictums like that. Does this include the appearance of less and less, mad as a March hare easter eggs?

I’m genuinely missing these easter eggs and, who knows, perhaps I’m just phlegmatic to see them, but they are more of a rarity nowadays.

In between all the debates regarding politics, economics and pretty much all the things I’m not quite fond of, I’ve wondered about games and their difficulty settings.

I do like a challenge, but most games and their hardest difficulty settings are mostly avoided by myself and I don’t want to torture myself for hours on end for an achievement. However, I did play a few games in the past on these settings and found them to be an absolute joy, rather than a session of “What swear words can I scream the hardest and use to summarise my present feelings.”

When saying: “absolute joy”, make no mistake, it wasn’t without effort on my part and buckets of patience. There really is quite a few games I tried and after a while called it quits.

I play games for the joy to be had with them and it’s my own personal form of therapy. Let’s examine the candidates that didn’t inspire thoughts of killing younglings and their household pets.

Batman Arkham Asylum

This one is due to my love for Batman and a combat system that really sank its hooks into me. When playing on the hardest setting you have no indicator for when an enemy is about to attack and the enemies are less easily put down.

One thing that helped my success was the fact that I played the game on PC more than a few times. I’m too embarrassed to name a number; let’s just say that it would require more than two hands to count the amount of playthroughs I did. (Don’t judge me, it was the second game I bought after acquiring a new graphics card. First graphics card, mind you. Yeah, I was behind by miles at that time.)

It made me pay much more attention during a fight. Running in and mashing the attack button won’t suffice. Batman will have his ass beaten by tough-guys and their manly and glistening steel pipes. A challenge with enough to keep you going.

Also, Scarecrow sequences for the win.

The Darkness II

Not everyone’s favourite game and also game of the year for some. (Smiley face.)

I admit that some people really disliked the game, but, hey, to each his own.

Tackling this one on Don difficulty wasn’t frustrating, it made it more fun to use your Darkness powers with strategy, rather than just eviscerating everyone and their bottom halves without fear of having one of your own tentacles forces in one’s own orifices.

Splinter Cell Conviction

If you scroll back up you’ll see that I said that I don’t want to mutilate myself for hours on end for the sake of an achievement. I played Conviction through on Realistic difficulty without the achievement registering. Kind of sucky, I admit, but hey, it was fun and I’ll tackle it again some other time.

What made this one extremely rewarding was the fact that the enemies can spot you so easily and you have to be careful, otherwise the enemies will mark and execute Sam Fisher, instead of vice-versa.

Running in regardless and melee-ing won’t help your cause.

Cutting it close has a new meaning after this venture.

Mafia II

Taken from an undisclosed source that Mafia II holds the record for the most amount times being sworn in a video game, it still managed to stay fun after having played through on Normal and staring up another playthrough on Hard.

Not many people I know, played this, enjoyed it and held its name high. Some people were put off by different aspects. Some the driving. Some the shooting. Some didn’t play it.

I really liked it, as well as its brief and unresolved ending. (I felt like shit when the credits started.)

Strangely enough, my motivation for playing through were not the Playboy posters. (Second smiley face.) I just genuinely enjoyed the game and its story.

Not much else to say, besides: Stay in cover, die a lot, learn where the baddies come from and victory!

BioShock Infinite

Yes, it was unavoidable for me to leave this one leave this one out of yet another feature. (Third smiley face.)

I finished this game on 1999 Mode without using a Dollar Bill vending machine over the past weekend and boy, oh boy, was that awesome.

So many enemies that posed little than average danger than the rest absolutely stomped me into the ground and I really had to think quick and avoid getting too confident.

I’d have to say that the Siren battles and the final encounter held the most challenge, but staying cool and thinking quick was the recipe for success.

Not once did I feel like rage-quitting and really enjoyed the game for a *cough* fourth *cough* time. (Damn, who’s burning tires all of a sudden in this non-spacious room?)

So many times did I feel like I wasn’t going to be able to get past this encounter, but lo and behold I did it. As well as quite a few other gamers according to Trueachievements.

My personal perfect example of how a challenge can be handled with thought and scraping through by the skin of you bum.

Conclusion

That’s my personal list of games I finished on the highest difficulties and still enjoyed the experience. (Probably the only ones at that.)

Now’s your turn to brag about games you’ve completed and enjoyed. So please, bombard us with comments and show your superior perseverance.

The amounts of YouTube videos out there are staggering.

I’m sure that’s like saying that grass is green and books are filled with words. (Although, come to think of it, certain books / magazines are filled with very little words and very little is worn. WHOW! Who turned up the temperature?)

I’m sure that pretty much everyone with an internet connection has read about PSY, or watched his crazy-ass videos. Look at the views of Gangnam Style and his latest; Gentleman and you can safely assume that it sparked more than a few people’s curiosities. With that in mind, do you think that gaming can reach such crazy statistics?

You have a lot of games that sky-rocket in regards to their sales, see Call of Duty every year, but is it possible for a game to have that quick-fire tempo to popularity?

Personally, I can only think about Call of Duty sales and perhaps the amount of talk regarding the BioShock series as well as the news of a new generation of consoles. (I must admit that the BioShock one may be my own obsessive nature.)

So many things on the internet explode, and with time they die down to a more natural pace in regards to popularity. I mean even a foreign talking gentleman and his Ibex can go viral for a fixed amount of time.

Readers, help me think of more examples like this in the gaming industry and we’ll see who is the most observant.

In a world filled to its bursting seams with dark situations and uncomfortable scenarios, you are bound to reach the pinnacle of being just over ALL of it.

Every floating ball of fluffy water has its own bronze stripe or something along those lines.

I’ve always been one to look at objects and situations in life and try my very best to find something good underneath all the putrid and steamy loads of diseased coyotes. It’s is not something that is always easy or even remotely visible, but I do try.

I’ve spoken in the past about games being used in a “medicinal” sense and boy, have I lived by those words lately.

You see, we all go through less desired times and whether we like it or resent the very emotions consisting out of non-diluted sadness, we must persist and go forth with life.

Every person walking this Earth has their own ways of dealing with their issues and whatnot. So, what does a gamer turn to, besides the nineteen kilograms of tobacco and morphine coupled together with horse-tranquilizers to create a numbing sensation of sleepy-sleep?

Well, games, of course!

I shall not turn this into a moan and groan fest, but let me say that between issues, regular everyday life and work; gaming has been the epitome of my survival.

I stole a second hand copy of Batman Arkham Asylum recently and when my sleepy-sleep time struggle to commence, I turn on the trusty old Xbox 360 and away I glide. What is better than multiple knuckle-sandwiches to the begging faces of gruff and tough-looking criminals? I do, however, struggle to see the sensible connection between a guy in tights beating a crowd of criminals in their various groins and a good night’s sleep? Actually, I now see the connection. You are not the one being punched in the loins and prefer the pain of other pixelated men, you sadist.

As always, it is myself, books and games trying to escape the land of the living in between all the work.

A question I’ve been asking myself more and more when not only looking at myself, but to other people around me as well, is why do we so crave to forget about current circumstances?

Most forms of media can help us with that. A momentary distraction. A means of escape.

It has always been a pleasure to embrace a fictitious world and be a part of the journey the characters go through. Although recently I’ve sincerely noticed that it is much more than that; we want to escape a world filled with bills, troublesome situations and people testing the extent of our nerves.

I persist on using the word: “we”, but this is only due to a handful of scenario’s I’m familiar with. Am I making a mistake to vocalise this issue by letting it sound like an issue for a majority of people and gamers at the same time? I’m going with a gut-feeling here. Perhaps I should not always listen to this gut-feeling as it has told me repeatedly in the past to marinade the non-existent steaks with ground-up toilet seats.

I would really like to leave you all today with the following thought: Find an escape if one is needed. Seeing as how this is a gaming website, I will most certainly encourage you to find that escape in gaming alongside your other escape methods. (If you require any assistance, message Tim Robbins.)

Remember to keep a balance. Play the crap out of your games. Plant an array of daffodils and water the crap out of them.

Easy.

Organic.

Organic carrots, organic asparagus and organic facecloths.

The term: “organic gameplay” is one that I’ve been pondering over lately and it just so happens that I’ve been playing a game recently that sparks that exact feeling. So you may blame the game or my mind for comparing them with each other, or the mind of the game for planting hypnotic thoughts of organic copulation with a treacherous rodent family, resulting in a cross-breed of headcrabs. (Damn, where did I place my much needed medicine?)

I swear that statement opened up a cluster of portals with unwanted thoughts just streaming through.

Anyway, organic gameplay is the name of today’s topic.

I’ve recently acquired The Orange Box and started playing Half-Life 2. Yes, I do know that I’m relatively late for the discussion, but despite it being an eight / nine year old game, I’m surprised by my enjoyment with it. You see, I didn’t finish Half-Life 2 on PC. This was due to reasons I may not talk about and it has nothing to do with the corpse in my closet.

Something that I started realising again whilst playing, was when I died and replayed the specific shooting segment that caused my downfall is that I could do almost anything the exact same way, but the enemies and way they met their doom varied each time.

How is this possible?

I personally feel that the different AI’s have so many options about how to approach the situation and cap Gordon’s ass, resulting in so many different outcomes. Another aspect that may help in terms of the “organic-ness” is the level-design. You can approach the same combat situation with different routes and different sources of shelter. Why not throw a Combine soldier with a barrel or a toilet?

The number of weapons also provide a wide variety of options. If you have the needed ammunition and prefer to chill and hang back, you may pick of enemies with the extremely lethal crossbow. If an enemy is coming around a corner and you were busy cracking open crates with your crowbar, you may depart him from this world using the aforementioned crowbar. You will take damage, yes, but the current weapon won’t feel useless.

Honestly, not many games feel like this anymore. Half-Life does have a degree of scripted events and I’m not denying that, but it just feel as though not recent many games provide us with these options. You have pre-selected weapons and you have certain amount of blokes to eviscerate and done.

I can think of just a few games that provide with more than the average, in terms options with which to approach a situation. Which games do you feel have that “organic” nature?

Since I started gaming, there has always been a wide variety of games out there. Clearly not as much as there are now, but we had our platformers, our racers, our arcade-y stuff and whatever I am forgetting to mention.

My earliest memories of games were formed around “TV Games” as we called them which consisted out of compiled games on cartridges. My gaming world existed out of Mario, Battle City and Prince of Persia on a PC with a yellow and black screen. I was in gaming heaven. Lately, games release left and right with very little time between big releases. You can expect a first person shooter once a year with bone-shattering sales. You can expect an indie game to attract enormous amounts of attention. You can expect an intellectual game that will be either completely hated or adored to very nucleus of all its cells. You can expect a reboot to receive crap about the protagonist’s hair colour.

However, you cannot expect a game to be of such nature that it will be remembered by almost every gamer out there that played it, for years or perhaps decades to come.

I present to you my list of games that will always be personally cherished when thinking back, whilst sitting in my rocking chair on a porch, 50 years from now.

The Half-Life Series

Put down the pitchforks please.

I know I said games and not game series’.

With this nominee I find it hard to choose between the very first time I played Half-Life and my playing of Half -Life 2 to till 95% and then needing to format our PC. I started playing The Orange Box on Xbox 360 a few days ago and I immediately recognised so much while it still feeling so “new”.

It’s not something I can easily put into words. (Much like the rest of our nominations.)

As with every one of these nominations, I experience a sense of “wonder” while playing. It doesn’t have to be “realistic”. Half-Life have always managed to pull me into its world without any effort on my part and I know I’m not the only one.

Journey

I played this game a about three months back and I’m still amazed by the elegant way of making me feel the way I did. From a distance it looks like a very pretty game with scarf physics and that is about it. Boy, if that’s the case with you, as it was with me, you would be doing yourself a disservice.

I have an experience with this game and another online player that I will never talk about. It was something that I cannot even now put into words and give anyone out there an understanding. Let’s just say that it would be the exact opposite of me being all tough and manly and beef and beer and steroids.

Something I will never willingly forget.

Portal

Do I hear you saying something about a Valve fanboy?

If I’m being called a fanboy  during this feature, I’m absolutely certain it won’t be about Valve. (You’ll see.)

The Portal games haven’t been something I felt compelled to play, until I played them, that is. The humour, the puzzles and GlaDOS all make for an amazing ride. The games aren’t long, but it isn’t necessary to be, in order to deliver an amazing impact. It still tickles the same “laugh-buds” while forcing me to use my think-tank.

The way I’m being described by GlaDOS while playing is really not the best confidence boost out there, but the amount of charm is undeniable, you monster.

Grim Fandango

This isn’t the first time we see Manny Calavera in one of my features and I told myself the last time I used him that it would indeed be the last time. The guy keep coming back and I don’t have the necessary cruelty to show him to the door.

Grim Fandango have always had a soft spot in my heart. Today, the controls are the complete opposite of streamlined, the graphic quality isn’t at all alluring and the animations isn’t fetching to the eye, but you know what? The charm and humour is still intact without me doubting the reasons why I loved and still love the game to bits. You’re forced to think. You cannot help the laughter and Manny Calavera makes even the Land Of The Dead seem more than tolerable.

Dishonored

I have a gut-feeling that I’m going to get a few disapprovals about this one, for the fact of it not being that long since release. Yes, it released last year; one must also remember the fanbase it generated and still have.

The stealth worked and while the combat wasn’t a prime example of a miracle, the whole world and range of abilities made up for it. I know that this will be a definite keeper in terms of my thinking about it for years to come.

The BioShock Series

Yes, the fanboy I mentioned earlier has arrived and I’m here to stay.

BioShock, BioShock 2 and BioShock Infinite made me care about the world I was currently exploring. I didn’t look around every corner for audio logs just for the sake of collecting them and earning an achievement, but because I REALLY wanted to.

Rapture and Columbia both have and always will have a top spot in my cranium for being fictitious world I cared probably more about than my own. The world is THE main character.

Rapture will probably smell like an untreated sewer filled with fish guts while Columbia’s inhabitants should be talking with squeaky voices and Booker may be a pornstar in another reality, but I don’t care. I loved every second I spent in those worlds.

Conclusion

As always, I’m delighted to share my candidates and in return I wish you to tell me your unforgettable games. It doesn’t have to be a best-seller. It doesn’t even have to be well-known, but it does need that special something to make it impossible to forget. Please, we do like to hear your choices.

Life is full of difficult aspects.

No one will know what lies ahead and no one will know what lurks around the next “happy-looking” corner.

The various alleyways disguised as fine-detailed carnival rides assuring you everything will be fine. The betraying feeling of…. (I’ve once again been advised to carry on without turning this into a philosophical jive. You are here about games, dammit!)

Difficulty. OK. Go!

I’ve had the opportunity to play games this past weekend on a platform I am not nearly familiar with and difficulty was something being immediately apparent. We can opt for changing the word: “difficult”, to something more along the lines of: “something one needs to get used to”.

That’s right everyone; I played a Wii game.

Seeing as how I like my games with added red, I immediately grabbed the chance to see and play Madworld. The idea of killing people and earning points is nothing new. Bulletstorm had us flinging guys into various cacti and many barbed objects in exchange for upgrade points and credits to buy ammunition.. However, presented as a type of game-show with commentators talking about the efficiency of the player to sex and I’m sure I heard penis in there somewhere as well; I’m inclined to stay fixated on the game. Not because of the penis and copulation aspects mentioned by the commentators, but rather the absolute absurdness of it all. Absurdness in a good way. (Not good in a way to convince non-gaming people that gaming can totally be filled with mature and thought-provoking narratives and complex decision making.)

I’m not going to lie. I was absolutely horrendous with the controls. It’s still a gaming system, but it was totally out of my comfort zone.

Put me in front of a console or PC and I’m good to go with most games. The Wii, however, didn’t afford me my comfort zone. I was quite enjoying the impalement of various muscular tough guys on several hooks with ridiculous amounts of blood and a “Sin City-look” to boot, while waggling a remote around to repeat the satisfying impalement. (I’m sure that sounds really mature…)

Which brings me to my question dedicated to you this week: do you enjoy trying games / gaming platforms out of your comfort zone?

When someone mentions that their dog had been digging five separate holes in their garden after having deliberately tried to find a lost treasure that will be destined to ruin the lives of its owners, or perhaps the game developing company: Naughty Dog, I immediately envision a swash-buckling adventure, starring a wise-cracking kleptomaniac and mass-murderer walking across a desert and hanging from a train that in itself is hanging from a cliff. Yes, I’m talking about the Uncharted series with all its awesome set-pieces.

I don’t necessarily think about a game set in an overgrown city with two survivors doing their best to stay alive while running from deformed and horrid-looking infected and a bunch of hobo, Tourettes syndrome-addled survivors that looks like they’ve been taken out of a Condemned game. Despite that, The Last Of Us has me very interested and, in my opinion, has the possibility to be excellent. Seriously now, Booker DeWitt is voicing the player character. What’s not to love?

Name: The Last Of Us
Genre: Action-Survival
Players: 1 (multiplayer numbers unknown)
Multiplayer: Yes
Platforms: PS3
Developers: Naughty Dog
Publishers: Sony Computer Entertainment
Release Date: 14 June, 2013
Price: R640

We have had so many examples lately that the world is clearly obsessed with the end of the Earth and the last desperate struggles of a few remaining folk, that you kind of start to wonder about the sanity of the entertainment industry. These situations have been portrayed so many times and I kind of started to feel like they should stop trying and make another Barney game, until I saw the very first trailer for The Last Of Us. The anticipation and need to feel creeped out increases with every new video released. Let’s take a look at the various known facts about the game and the grotesque infected beings.

The Setting

The game begins in Boston and proceeds to progress through a clearly damaged ruin of civilization. Another known location is Pittsburgh where the beautiful and lush scenery awaits, complete with barbarous hordes.

Quarantine zones exist to keep the vegetation, scavengers and Infected from the few remaining survivors. The beginning of the game takes place in one of the last remaining quarantine zones. Strict military control is continuously present here and despite that, we will see rebels throughout the game with their own agenda towards survivors and the possibility of infection.

The Plot

We kick off in Boston. 20 years after the infection started.

Joel, our protagonist and playable character, is tasked to sneak into the last remaining quarantine zone and sneak out a fourteen-year old teenager, Ellie, who somewhat resembles Ellen Page, but strangely isn’t voiced by her. The ones responsible for calling the shots regarding this escape is a rebel group named Firefly. Joel is accompanied by Tess, another character following the instructions of Firefly.

The escape attempt is successful until the military from the quarantine zone finds out about this escape and before long they are in pursuit of these three survivors and will probably do their best to ruin their day even further.

Joel’s original plan was to take Ellie to this group and then make a break for it. However, he promised a friend that he would take care of her. They tried to form their own area of safety after the escape, but that wasn’t meant to be. Their journey will take them West across the United Stated in a desperate attempt to rid them of the angry, gun-toting people. Joel and Ellie will work together to overcome the many, many obstacles and enemy encounters in their path. They will encounter the Infected, Military forces and people with a knack for hunting other folk as well as other survivors.

Why can we not live together peacefully?

Speaking of peaceful, let’s get on to the Infected.

The Infected

Personally, I’m incredibly grateful that they tried to have an infected-type enemy without going about the usual zombie infection and resulting in them just being the well-known zombies and nothing else.

The infected in The Last of Us is divided into stages. The infection is based on the idea of a plant-like parasite burrowing into the individual’s brain and then slowly starts to grow.

Stage 1 Infected are also known as Runners. These guys are still “new” of “fresh” in regards to the infection process. They have their eyesight and are able to run and attack in packs.

As if current conditions weren’t bad enough, we have the Stage 3 Infected known as Clickers. These grotesque beings create an immensely tense atmosphere. Reason for this is that they cannot see and rely on incredible hair-raising noises they form with their tongues. It sounds truly nerve-wrecking. These Infected are rendered blind by the parasite inside their head that have had some time to grow and therefore started to grow out the person’s eyes and various orifices. Not a pretty picture, mind you.

Every Infected type will have their appropriate way to handle them in combat, but supplies are scarce and you won’t always have the items that would make for an easy situation. Which brings me to…

Your Inventory

Games with survival elements alongside an inventory system have the tendency to break the feel or immersion with a bunch of menus bringing the flow to a complete halt. The Last Of Us seems to learn from those examples with an inventory system that will be fluid and items will be crafted without needless hassles. Items can be crafted, but without pausing the game and is I believe that this will intensify the mood even more.

Supplies are scattered throughout the world and will come in handy for multiple reasons. For example, you may use a pair of scissors and bindings to craft an item called a “Shiv”, which will grant you the opportunity to stealth kill a Clicker. These guys will definitely provide for harrowing encounters, of that I am fairly certain.

Molotov Cocktails can be crafted by combining alcohol and rags. Medical supplies can also be crafted by using similar items, resulting in you having to put thought into your choices and usage of your supplies.

The Scenery

Based on the gameplay footage I’ve watched I can see that there is already a huge amount of polished visuals and the fact that it is delivered by Naughty Dog, we won’t have to worry about not having our eyes treated by wondrous terrain.

From the lush environment of an overgrown city to the pitch-black and dreary interior filled with clicking horrors shambling around, we have a sense of desperation no matter what the area looks like. I’m sure we still have lots more to feast our eyes upon.

Suspected Selling Points

• A proper addition to the survival-genre that is definitely something a lot of gamers crave for
• Tense and nerve-wrecking combat with lots of options
• Beautiful visuals to help the immersion along
• The possibility of a truly useful and believable companion character that will grow on us. (In a non-Infected kind of way.)

Potential Pitfalls

• Thought of as just another zombie game
• The multiplayer component may turn out to be a completely unnecessary addition

Conclusion

Judging from articles and gameplay videos and my own personal excitement, I’m sure it’s safe to say that we may have another prime example to be proud to have gaming as a hobby. The different ways to handle a situation really has me looking forward to sneak around/battle the Infected and other enemies. Be sure to keep your gaze on this one, I will certainly do just that.

I have a confession to make.

It is not something I’m proud to admit. I feel sick to my core when just the words even think about entering my mind. The words are dripping with some sort of gooey substance that reeks of decomposing and misshapen mutants. If one were to shine these words on a wall using a projector of some sort the very wall will begin to rot and crumble. A mountain will start to cry when these words are shone upon it. A printing press will perish when instructed to form these words. I sincerely hope your screen will hold the shear putrid weight of these words.

I’ve been struggling recently to play games…

In all fairness, I’m pretty sure some of you are currently thinking that this is one of today’s most “oh, look at me” statements and I wouldn’t blame you if you those were your thoughts, but stick around and hear me out; there’s more to it.

This is issue is only impacting myself and the rest of the world are safe. (Safe until the last strand of sanity snaps and I begin dissecting live shop assistants.)

Who’s to blame for this personal catastrophe?

It’s not a person who’s to blame, but rather a certain game. The delicious question is what game indeed would be cruel enough to place me in a position of ultimate uncertainty when playing something else.

Based upon the stir this game made recently, it is quite obvious: BioShock Infinite.

In that case I blame the entire Irrational Games team and myself for this debacle I’m finding myself in.

You see, the thing is that I’m obsessed with Infinite and everything the game is about. I initially thought that there is no way for me to be happier with a setting of a game when I played both BioShock and BioShock 2. I love Rapture, but sadly Columbia is making it hard for me, as these two are competing for top spot in my mind. After having finished BioShock Infinite three times now I’m very keen on starting a fourth playthrough, and I know myself well enough to say that I’ll still explore the living crap out of Columbia even now, for a fourth time.

I decided to leave that fourth playthrough for a later occasion, but my problem about playing anything else is one that I didn’t thought possible. I’ve tried playing multiple games and something feels missing. Surely I cannot compare every other game out there with Infinite. That just wouldn’t be fair.

Yes, it isn’t fair, but my mind is cruel to me and persists on reminding me of the amazement I felt while flinging guys into the air with Bucking Bronco and landing a kill shot with my Handcannon. Not to mention the narrative…

You still think that this is a case of “oh, poor me”?

I wouldn’t blame you.

I’ve been thinking if I can compare this with something more common and everyday, it’ll sound better. I can only think of examples that are tied to addictive substances. (And food.)

When someone tastes a high-quality drink and have to go back to a less expensive drink, it’ll be noticed instantly. The same can be thought of someone smoking an extremely high-quality tobacco and then they have to go back to a cheaper brand.

I’m a big fan of pizza and would like to use it as another example. If one were to eat pizza every day, 3 times a day, it’s bound to lose its “specialness” in your mind. Before long you’ll get tired and start feeling like a giant slice of pizza, therefore a balance must be maintained.

I’m happy to report that I’m slowly but surely making progress in my BioShock Infinite detox. Sleeping Dogs and Fallout 3 have proved to help thus far. (The Songbird statue staring at me this very moment isn’t necessarily helping…)

I’ve had this experience with quite a few books in the past.

Which brings me to ask you guys and gals out there if you’ve experienced everything like this in the past?

I cannot be the only one… (Add echoing effect.)

Games provide us the option of taking a breather and just having a good old time. Not every game out there will be an “experience”, but rather an enjoyable, fun-filled and minimal brain-usage extravaganza.

Not every gamer out there will play and play and play until their thumbs are worn down to the very bone. They don’t play everything, but still enjoy that which they play, be it a Wii game, a bullet barrage or rhythm-fest.

A game that’s testament to be an absolute blast, but has a very little complexity in terms of story is Rayman Origins. It’s fun and if you’re a bunch of people playing, I can guarantee that four players playing at one will infuse the sense of an upcoming migraine or acid-trip. (In a good way.)

Gaming with a bunch of friends can prove to be a remarkable sight. The reactions a single fighting game can provide from different individuals is priceless. Anger, laughter, frustration, confusion, bafflement by gratuitous violence and genuine happiness. The game that proved that recently was Mortal Kombat from 2011. Playing with four people in teams of two was an interesting witnessing. Not everyone enjoyed every battle, and the game was even called “shit” due to the lack of success, but everyone kept on playing and trying just one more time. The desire to succeed or just have fun among a bunch of people is admirable.

It’s a fact; games provide facial expressions and yelling ibex sounds from people you know, that you never knew they were even capable of.

My question to you this week is the about games you’ve played alongside or against friends, be it couch co-op or a LAN. What game(s) provided you with unforgettable memories?

As much as I’d like to make some sort of comparison to the matter at hand with, let’s say, a radiated shaving blade that’s been dipped in a military-grade sulfuric acid and used as a cheese grater on one’s unmentionables, I think it’s best to jump right into the current motif.

The CEO of Ubisoft stated the following when asked about always-on consoles: “Well, that’s a question you should put to Microsoft and Sony! I would say that a lot of people are already always online through other devices – I would suspect that the audience is ready.”

I will state below why I think that an “always-on” console would be catastrophic. Let us dissect this diseased rat. (Not necessarily a semi-useful one as seen in Dishonored.)

5 – Fewer Customers

While some gamers are always online when playing you might hear some counter-arguments about that particular fact, but take note that, that is optional and your current game isn’t dependent on the stability of you connection. If your connection dies: Whoops! Continue playing or if it’s a multiplayer session; reconnect, find another match and continue shooting blokes in the knee and / or genitals.

Whereas your game is dependent on the connection, you will have trouble playing a single player game and get kicked out if there is some asshole stealing cables or if solar flares are deciding to be spiteful.

Getting to the fewer customers part will have me saying that some gamers do not play online at all. They don’t even have an online account to download games or play with friends. Their main drive is single player games and nothing else. If they have a console at home with no connection and bought the console for the sole purpose of just inserting a disc into the tray and being able to play immediately, why force your customers with that goal to be online and then end up chasing away potential sales?

They want more control over us gamers and to eviscerate second hand sales. Money hungry in this case = Fewer customers and less income. What?

4 – No Second Hand Sales

The possibility of having some sort of DRM on a console game.

It’s a thought both saddening and infuriating.

I’ll quote Jim Sterling again: “People pay for convenience.”

Why chase away people that want your gaming system for convenience. I bought my Xbox 360 to get away from always-on PC games and massive updates. It took me two games to realise that I’m not going to be able and continue with this. F.E.A.R. 2 had me installing Steam and a 1.6GB update (Which wouldn’t have been a problem if I had an uncapped line, but that wasn’t the case and still isn’t.) and when I heard about Assassin’s Creed II having an always-connected thingamajig, I burst into tears.

Having that convenience stripped from your gaming experience is just plain stupid. Sure, your console games have updates, but only when you are connected and want to play it online, but if you are not connected, there’s no issue. If they expect us to “register” a game and be online to let them verify the game we paid for, why would we want to support that and “prove” ourselves to them?

It’s a silly, cash-craving and downright lame-brained idea.

3 – Focus On Social Interaction

I’ve seen interviews and adverts about products that feature an online and social component and they make it out to be so glorious to be in constant interaction with other online folk. Don’t get me wrong, I like being online and talking / playing with friends, but I don’t want to be online the entire time. I think I’m safe when saying that many of us game for escapism. We WANT to be immersed and climb into the fictional world that is presented to us.

Scenario: I’m walking through the highly-detailed streets of Columbia, scouring for much needed supplies when I hear a familiar and distracting sound. Is it Songbird? Oh, wait! One of my online friends came online and all immersion went out the window. Once again, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see people come online, but that’s when I WANT to be online.

2 – Current Examples Clearly Show Us The Pitfalls

If we look at titles such as Diablo III and SimCity, we can already see that this idea of always being online is dangerous. Not just for sales, but for everyone involved. The online service isn’t working properly and we as gamers, looking for a distraction or just for the sake of escaping the thoughts of the crappy day behind our back, can’t play for shit. Your entertainment / passion with which were there with minimum hassles in the past cannot be enjoyed now due to technical difficulties that serves a purpose that’s not even remotely necessary.

1 – I Won’t Be Able To Play

I agree, this last reason may appear very self-centered, but I’m speaking with 100% confidence that those words won’t be ushered solely from my mouth. I know quite a few gamers personally that would be affected by this, resulting in them not being able to play games that they’ve been looking forward to. I, for one, am really excited and also not excited at all by The Witcher 3. Reason for this being that I totally dig the idea of a third Witcher game with a humungous map, but the excitement is brought down by the possibility of these restrictions.

Conclusion

The idea behind a new generation of consoles is to bring us new features and ideas, giving developers more to work with and providing more reason to be into gaming, not to chase away existing customers.

Guys and gals, please, speak up! If this is where we’re headed, the companies need to know that this isn’t the wisest of choices.  

Here we are again on another Monday afternoon. I hope you’re enjoying the sunny / overcast / clear / thunderous weather. (Choose corresponding option.)

The idea I’ve had with these Monday afternoon exclusives is to talk about something I noticed recently or perhaps something I watched over the weekend and see if I can somehow connect it to gaming.

Luckily I played a little bit of Splinter Cell Chaos Theory HD over the weekend and I must say that even though I know exactly what’s going to happen and even remember the exact locations of secondary objectives, which actually came to me as a shock, I’ve enjoyed myself despite it not looking as visually orgasmic as Uncharted 4: Drake’s Kalahari Pilgrimage.

Quite a few aspects caught my attention and reminded me once again how we as gamers get used to certain ways.

I’ve been wanting to use the word “Old School”, but I’m swiftly reminded by the depressive and thought-provoking self that the game came out in 2005. Sure, it came out almost 8 years ago and that’s quite some time for a game, but when it gets compared to something like a book or movie, that’s no where near the word: “old”. (See: The Godfather (1972) that’s currently the second best movie of all time according to IMDb.)

One of the aspects that jumped out at me was the little guidance you have in terms of an objective marker, which is non-existent. You have your goals, info and a 3D map, that’s it. The tutorial is not a tutorial; it’s a bunch of tutorial videos explaining all the different aspects, which would be really “weird” nowadays.

After having played God of War Ascension recently the complete non-existence of Quick-Time Events was strange at first. All of this coming from myself which is ironic due to me knowing the game by heart. I was able to remember most of the dialogue in detail. (I didn’t have many games to play, don’t judge me.)

The controls and options were also facets that grabbed my comparing thoughts. Lethal attacks, non-lethal attacks, night-vision, heat-vision, silenced pistol with jamming device, assault rifle with various attachments, acrobatics, lock-picking, cutting through materials, multiple pathways, hacking devices and whistling.

The game is super dark, meaning that your night-vision goggles are a necessity and not just an option.

Games don’t have to be complicated to have tremendous effect, see Journey.

What got to me was the thought of how much simpler games from today (not all) are and how much we’re being guided.

All of this brings me to ask you, the readers, what your thoughts are about older versus newer games?

I still enjoy both, but one cannot help to notice a ravine of definite unlikeness.

It’s starting again.

IT. IS. STARTING. AGAIN.

School, university, campus, college or Hell. Call it whatever you like, it’s here yet again and the sole plan is to provide us with less and less time for gaming. All those talk about building a future with it, creating a solid foundation for an education or it being there to help you through life: LIES.

We shall root out the phosphoric basis with adequate, able-bodied and hardy strength and we shall conquer these systems that take pleasure in the reduction of our precious gaming time! WE SHALL… My editor has informed me to leave the apocalyptic talk and hop on with the actual column. I would, however like to rage about the petrol price, always-on DRM and my lack of horse tranquilizers, but we’ll see what I can muster up in two weeks’ time.

As much as I would like to moan about the lack of free internet, I must persist with an actual article.

Behind the scenes.

It may be snore ‘o clock for some of you, but stay with me.

Gaming time has already decreased for me and will continue to decline, but I’ve managed to play a little bit of God of War: Ascension today, finishing it, and watched a few ‘making of’ videos that are included with the game under the “Extras” menu.

The videos range from the undertaking of multiplayer, concepts, level design to recording the voices while doing the motion capture. I always love seeing the voice actors doing their magic and bringing our characters to life. As I said earlier, this topic may not be for every gamer out there. I know about a lot of movie-loving folk that never even watches the Making of or Behind The Scenes and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I, for one, really like to see an idea develop into a final playable product. The whole concept of a concept artist providing image after image for a workable and successful design is beyond my comprehension. So many awesome drawings created and never even used. It’s part of a process, I realise that, but a ton of sketches get thrown out and very few people feel concerned about that. I would be grateful to be able to draw but one of those ideas. Never mind a file filled with sketches the size of a plumpish elephant.

Something else that astounded me were the early versions of the levels and how abnormally bare-boned they are in the first stages of development. The basic functions and scripted events are there, but it doesn’t even look like something that will turn out to be quite gratifying. How it goes from an almost all white, grid-based space to a polished area containing one gargantuan-sized super monster wanting to eat Kratos and the very platform he is fighting on, is something I immensely respect.

You can easily find developer diaries on the internet, but they’re so short sometimes. What stood out to me with God of War III’s Making Of, is that it was quite lengthy and in-depth. The amount of sweat and tears that the teams goes through to create a working, playable and polished demo for E3 is noteworthy.

Not everyone would like to see T.C. Carson, Jennifer Hale and Troy Baker in their motion capture outfits portraying story segments. We’ll see these movements and hear these voices, but it will definitely have more effect in the final product. To me, this is magic. Not the pigeons and bunnies crawling out of tuxedo-wearing gents’ pants-magic, but a great combination of art and technical aspects coming together and offering us a great experience-magic.

I wish more developers would sit and make a series of Making Of videos which are featured on the disc, I really do.

I would be lying when I tell you that I don’t walk around, thinking over the weekend about the next topic to write about and that I’m bursting with so many gaming ideas that I have two closets waiting to be opened, whereupon I will be trampled to a near death state by the overflowing ideas and their pointy heels.

Usually I try to mess around with the idea of an alternate view or version of gaming. Sometimes the idea cannot be more obvious on its silver platter, paraded over to me by two belly-dancers accompanied by their creepy albeit astonishing belly-dancing cats.

I’ve used recently watched movies as a form of inspiration or topic, for example: Frankenweenie and Wreck-It Ralph. This time our article will also be sponsored by a film; G.I. Joe Retaliation.

I don’t want to necessarily talk about the type of movie or the characters, but since I’m already mentioning it, why not? I do like the narratives that forces you think, for example: Inception, Spec Ops The Line and BioShock Infinite, and on the opposite, less brain-consuming side of the spectrum we have Modern Warfare and basically any action movie out there. Both are great and both need to exist and keep the narrative balance.

The reason for me bringing this movie under your attention is as follow: Despite the gun-toting, sword-flinging and action sequences that take part on the side of a mountain so large, you’ll literally need kilometers of rope to reach your destination and continue to swing back and forth like a stupendously brave window cleaner, is the fact that on two occasions our attention is directed to a video game being played.

While these instances are both quite brief, I still liked the idea of recognizing both games being played on screen. These instances are both used to serve a comedic value, and while some might find the fact that gaming is used as a comedic relief: dislikable; I quite enjoyed it.

At the first portion of the movie, two main characters play Modern Warfare 3 multiplayer in a living room, while the “bad guy” play Angry Birds in the middle of a crisis situation later on in the film. Not the best image for video games out there, but I sincerely liked the extremely brief look at Angry Birds, complete with appropriate sound effects.

Do you like the idea of video games being shown while watching a film, even if it’s there for comedic reasons and not necessarily as a passion? (As it is for many of us.)

Come one, come all!

Welcome to our very first theatre performance starring your beloved gaming folk; each one of them delivering a splendid, unique and exciting act throughout the course of the evening!

We cannot guarantee any surviving audience members in the front row, isle, back row, balcony and in any of the various restrooms.

We provide a free pair of safety glasses taped under every comfortable seat in the audience to shield those precious eyes from any residual splatter, debris and vital organs. Two large red lights in each of the front corners will shine brightly to notify the audience when to commence and make use of these apparatus’s. If there appears to be technical difficulties, please refer to the contents of the program for any needed indication as to the exact moments when these glasses will be needed.

Refreshments may be bought before the show and during the fifteen minute break. We wholeheartedly suggest that you buy these snacks before the show as we’d like to make as much profit from you while you’re still alive and breathing. Our estimates in terms of profits are not looking well when taking into account the exact time of the aforementioned break and the potential amount of folk still with us.

Please take you seats and enjoy the show. (Any ringing cell phones shall be deposited into the jaws of an industrial press.)

Act 1 – Raiden

Our first act for the evening shall be of Raiden eviscerating any and all objects thrown at him with superb precision.

Objects include: Watermelons, cars, helicopters, soldiers and the occasional piece of industrial piping.

Audience members in the front row shall have the top-halves of their heads sliced off by Raiden, if they so desire.

Act 2 – Naruto

Entering the stage from the left is our very own Naruto Uzumaki.

He will enlighten us by angst-y talk about his past and best friends while eating continuously for 25 minutes.

After the show, he’ll be available for autographs, punching you in the face or ribcage and if you feel the need to be screamed at.

Act 3 – Nathan Drake

Nathan Drake shall entrance us with his physique while hanging from the front of the stage. After becoming so used to hanging from ledges and various historical grounds while being fired upon, Nathan will hang from one hand, holding a handgun up with the other while gibbering: “Oh, crap!” to himself for the good part of 30 minutes.

Act 4 – War And Death (Yoga Section)

Darksiders is the proud sponsor of tonight’s yoga segment.

War and Death will intrigue and mesmerize the audience with eloquent and peaceful yoga movements with classical music humming in the background.

Act 5 – John Marston

Joining us for the evening’s psychological portion will be none other than John Marston.

Feeding us advice on how to take care of your family and how to properly latch a Tomahawk into a main artery of an undead cattle rancher.

There will be a small interval between the psychological and biological parts in this act to avoid any conflicting emotions. This interval will treat the audience members to 9 minutes of gunfire and chewing tobacco being spat on the remaining live audience members in the front row.

Act 6 – Sam Fisher (Tech Segment)

At the helm of lighting control, we’re proud to present Sam Fisher from the Splinter Cell series.

This “tech” segment of the production shall feature Sam Fisher at work; showcasing his mastery of lighting.

Absolutely no lights will be lit, with audience members not able to even see their own hands in front of their eyes.

This 15 minutes portion of the show will be accompanied by a few lucky audience members being beaten up in the darkness.

Act 7 – Hitman

With the pace coming to a screeching halt with Sam Fisher and his lighting wizardry, we would like to keep this pace for just one more act.

Agent 47 will fool us by never even appearing on stage.

A lonesome spot light on center stage with 47 sitting among the audience, never being spotted. A great segment for those of you who seek mystery without any resolve. He’s among you, there’s not a single doubt about that.

Act 8 – Kane and Lynch (Gritty / Adult Segment)

We would like to end the evening with copious amounts of swearing and shouting brought to you by none other than Kane and Lynch.

Most of the audience that were lulled into deep slumber by the previous two acts will find themselves awoken by these two ruffians.

Expect machinegun fire after exactly seventeen and a half minutes of swearing.

Spoiler: If one or both of them survives this ordeal, they will continue to off themselves, leaving the audience with the appropriate amount of shock and awe.

Side Acts

 
Sam Gideon From Vanquish

Making proper use of the Augmented Reaction Suit; audience members will be treated once or twice per act by Sam knee-sliding from side to side at the back of the stage.

Rudely interrupting acts will keep the audience guessing the time of his next appearance.

 
Ethan Thomas From Condemned

Gazing over at the center isle at any stage during performances, audience members will be greeted by the bloodshot eyes of Ethan Thomas. To anyone not looking at the stage at all time, enjoying themselves or wanting a bathroom break, Ethan will quickly nudge you back to your seat by a 2 x 4.

Anyone conversing on their cell phones will be greeted by Ethan’s bandage-covered fists. Expect to wake up in the nearest convenient gutter.

 
Master Of Ceremonies – GlaDOS

There will be very little doubt about the announcer of tonight’s various performances. Let us all thank and appreciate the condescending demeanor of the evening’s Master of Cermonies – GlaDOS.

She will see to any and all arrangements to have you all trapped in the nearest testing facility after the show.

If you look at the heading it will most certainly appear as though I’m embezzling any and all ideas from Jake in his latest column. I feel that I need to say something on this matter as well as giving Jake all the credit.

I’ve conversed with Cavie about this the other night before reading Jake’s column.

It’s no mystery to my friends that I’ve been going on and on about Infinite since the invention of the triangular wheel. It’s true, ever since the announcement I’ve been eagerly awaiting any further news and videos, be it articles, trailers, gameplay or interviews.

I’ve even walked the extra mile in terms of a collector’s edition out of pure erratic behavior. (I blame Irrational Games for everything, as well as the upturn in price in the fossil fuel market.)

Gamers play games for different reasons and there is nothing wrong with that. Some may play it for relaxation and they may have little interest in regards to the stories that many games provide. There really are bunches of different reasons, but I’m not here today to talk to you about that.

As the anticipation for BioShock Infinite grew, I was fully confident in the fact that I was going to bombard you internet surfing folk out there with Infinite article after Infinite article.

I am, however, not planning to do that. At all.

After playing through Infinite and starting up a second playthrough, I have absolutely no desire at all to talk about it more than I currently am rendering.

What fool am I?

I’m a fool that went through such a personal journey that I feel no need to share it.

The emotions I felt and the thoughts that went through my mind while playing are mine and mine alone. This will for sure be a game, nay, experience that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Nothing would make me happier than knowing that there are hordes of folks out there enjoying the game and experiencing it for themselves, but that’s where I would like it to stay. They can talk about it with each other and there is not one single aspect wrong with that.

I may appear to be over-sentimental and who knows, maybe I am?

This is not a game that requires an analysis. Perhaps within your own mind and believe me, my mind haven’t had a chance to sit back and enjoy a warm beverage since playing Infinite.

Go out there and explore every nook within Columbia that you can find!

Anticipation.

My, oh my, have I been told how dangerous anticipation can be!

I’m not ignoring the advice that has been given to me and I’m no stranger to disappointment; more so in all facets of life, instead of gaming alone. (But! We’re here to talk about games.)

For the life of me, I’ve never felt my heart beat this enthusiastically before in regards to the release of a game. A game releasing today.

I’m, of course, referring to none other than Barney’s Magic Playtime. A sheer testament to the character and all its creepy friends. Friends with the capability to burn holes in your soul with no more than ten seconds of staring. The holes will soon start to leak a green-like viscous fluid, dripping on your shoes / sneakers / feet and / or any choice of footwear. After approximately five to six minutes the dripping acid-like puddle of viscous fluid will start to gnaw at the bottom of your soul and work its way up, until only a lifeless husk remains. Good times.

Besides the superb Barney game making its way to me today, I’ve heard about another game also making its way over. I’m not too familiar with it seeing as how I haven’t watched every single interview and trailer, read no articles and its sole existence is of no importance to me… (Wink, wink.)

I’m surprised by the fact that I still have people around me able to tolerate my very being after all my raving on and on about BioShock Infinite.

I’ve been taught to maintain a balance in life and everything therein. While that outlook may have been very generous in some regards and I do my absolute best to apply an effort to maintain a balance with every encounter I have and in regards to my viewpoint about life. I must admit that in the case of Infinite, since the very first announcement and till this very day, I didn’t maintain that balance whatsoever. It has been painful to read about two delays, but knowing that my delivery is on its way, it provides a manic-like grin to my face.

Reviews have scattered their way all over the internet, but I do not feel the need to go and read them, despite the fact that I do go and read reviews about a game I’m interested in or even knowing that my grubby paws will soon engulf the case and leave all sorts of suspicious looking marks on it. (What have you done to me, Cavie?)

I’ve told my friends on more than one occasion that you very rarely encounter an example in any form of entertainment that feels like it was made specifically for you. A good example in regards to a film would be The Mist. It’s not the most well-known movie with the biggest production budget, but what makes me so adamant about it is the absolute roller coaster of emotions you go through while the credits are rolling and I’m not talking about the first viewing alone. It makes you think about it for days and in my case weeks, after watching it.

The first BioShock did the very same thing to me. I pondered on with everyday tasks and work, but Andrew Ryan kept talking on in my head for quite some time afterwards. (I went to see a therapist after he began talking about omelet recipes.) Infinite sparks that same feeling.

Hype can be incredibly harmful and there is no denying it, now or ever.

Scepticism is such a large part of gaming nowadays, whether we like it or not and that is what makes me want to leave you good folks with the following: don’t go about thinking that every game will be a true work of genius, but be excited about games, whether it be Call of Duty, Assassin’s Creed, Spec Ops: The Line or in this case Infinite. Be excited.

A dimly lit alley.

The stench of sewers creep from manholes and a flickering streetlamp sets the appropriate mood.

A lifeless body provides the newly placed decoration. A decoration surely capable of setting the media world ablaze. All it takes is the first person to walk by and notice this empty, once filled with absolute joy, defunct vessel and headlines will be over flown by chaos.

Sirens approach and not before long the once dimly lit alley is enlightened by the greeting of constant flickering lights provided by the police vans engulfing the area.

Speech and shouts can be heard, but not one understandable word can be distinguished through the chaotic air. A small group of forensic workers or perhaps a detective alongside his trusted companion enters the scene. Not one word being uttered, but everything understood.

What a wonderful way to take lunch on your first day of the week. Mmmmm…

Mondays are grim, that’s the truth.

I’ve pondered over the fact that the gaming industry can take a break and we’re left behind with empty levels and lifeless consoles, but what about a certain game or character being murdered?

When hopping about the internet you often hear the words: “This installment killed the franchise” or “The new direction started digging a shallow grave for the series”. While these accusations often turn out to be mere opinion; think about what would actually happen if a beloved character gets killed for real?

Like I said, not the most optimistic thought on a Monday afternoon while you’re devouring a sandwich and / or cup of coffee.

Characters are 3D models with textures and no heartbeat in sight. We really do want some characters to be real and have a chat about life while sipping on some expensive drink, but what if a murder takes place or an accident with one these beloved characters being the victim?

“Ezio Auditore Falls to Death From Palazzo della Seta”

I’d be devastated. I mean, I fell from that building while controlling the charismatic bloke and now what?

What do you think will happen if something like this really took place within the industry? A real death of a character.

We enter yet another crazy Naruto game with cel-shaded graphics at work to recreate the feeling of a game that appears to be hand drawn, with over the top characters, angst and people running like chickens.

I’m going to start by saying that I do not have the most extensive knowledge of Naruto and indeed, in this case, Naruto Shippuden, so if I do not seem like the ultimate Wiseman, my apologies. I do, however, know the basics, most of the characters involved and I am quite a fan of anime type affairs.

So, without further hesitation, join me in the flashy and angst-inspired world of ninjas with lots of time to talk between and during fights.

I haven’t played the previous Ultimate Ninja Storm games, so I admit that I may have been a bit lost at the beginning of the game, but after hours and hours of vigorous research and Google searches I was able to decipher the first few minutes. (Do not fear, I’m merely being facetious.)

If you’re familiar with Naruto and most of the story elements, you do not need to worry. If you’re up to date with the manga and Shippuden series, you’ll almost certainly know what is in store for you throughout the game. The game can be played by a newcomer and they’ll most likely still be able to enjoy the narrative, but so many different titles and characters will be completely unknown to them.

The game begins with a flashback to a certain event in which Naruto’s father, Minato had a part to play in and help in the defense of the Hidden Leaf Village: A massive attack on the village by a fierce creature known as the Nine-Tail Fox. This creature plays quite an important role in the Naruto series from the very beginning and has been a part in Naruto’s life since he was born. Minato encounters a mysterious Masked Man and cryptic words are exchanged, leaving both Minato and the player scratching the back of their heads. (Pretty much in the same fashion as Naruto does throughout the series.)

When we return to the present, Naruto and his fellows are helping out by doing their part in restoring the Hidden Leaf Village. Naruto’s long-time friend and hatred–infused hard-ass, Sasuke, makes sure that all balance maintained in the previous instances of narrative before this game, is tipped and another angst-brigade is under way in full swing. Not before long, we learn that there is indeed a much larger game afoot. As the game progresses, we learn that the larger game afoot increases in scale by more characters becoming involved and true intentions being revealed.

Many of the game’s back story is explained during dialogue and the occasional flashback. Like I mentioned earlier, you’ll either be informed with the coming events, but if you’ve not read the manga or watched the series, the events will be new to you. So, for those of you not familiar with the narrative happenings, I’ll leave it here for the sake of spoilers.

I will however state that there are quite a few over the top scenarios, creatures with numerous tails kicking serious ass and enough angst to go around that after a while you’ll feel the need to scream at your family while swinging down a fist onto the nearest counter / table, when being asked about your wanting of coffee. (Basically any subject in this game is talked about in a way of turmoil.)

This game is heavily driven by its story and the sheer amount of dialogue is quite reminiscent of an RPG. This is not a game you buy to play a little bit and come back later. It’s more along the lines of watching a TV series with you, the audience, encouraging the characters while they are contemplating about a decision or cheering them along while fists and elemental attacks are flung around all over the place. It is cut-scene after cut-scene after cut-scene, with a battle every now and then between the characters you’ve been listening to for ten minutes and quite often a battle is interrupted by another cut-scene. It is certainly not a game for those of you out there that just want to keep on playing with very little interrupting the gameplay. There are hours and hours of cut-scenes.

Some of the dialogue within these cut-scenes feels like it has been added just for the sake of prolonging the game. That is also not helped by the fact that the pauses between lines are noticeable from start to finish. It’s either the timing with the English translation not undergoing smoothly, or the characters need to think carefully about what they are saying. (You can switch the language to Japanese if you so desire.) It’s not a deal-breaker, but you’ll certainly want to urge these characters along during cut-scenes. I’m always happy when a game focuses on its story and the same applies to this game; I just feel that some dialogue trimming here and there would’ve made it a lot more appealing. The pacing within the series is also like this, but seeing as how this is a game, you’ll want to play more than you watch. The game definitely picks up later during the game. More than once the game turned towards a more emotional direction and it actually had impact. Naruto also faces an internal battle with interesting results.

This is a fighting game, so whenever the angst in the cut-scenes reaches its immediate peak, you can expect a battle between pretty much everybody. Whether it be someone standing in your way, someone not cooperating or someone trying to protect you from the evil men, you’ll fight them for it. All of this seems rather silly and it really tends to be like that often, but I cannot help but feel that it fits within the game’s context. When looking at a character performing one of his powerful attacks by dropping an abnormally large panda on top of his enemy, out of nowhere and actually being one of the least conspicuous moves, one begins to wonder.

This will pretty much be the point where the people looking for a game with a realistic setting, characters and standard storyline start to quietly move away to the side and out of view. If you are not a fan of anime, anime games, Japanese games or Naruto, I believe I’m well within my rights to say that you’ll be better off staying away from this one.

Not meaning the game is of bad quality, just that one’s personal taste will have a definite say in the matter.

Let’s talk actual gameplay.

When talking about fighting games, you think about titles such as Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat where your point of view is strictly from a 2D perspective. That isn’t the case here. As with previous Naruto games, you fight in a 3D space, which is both a good and bad idea simultaneously.

I like the open environments in which to fight, because it’s not something seen as often in a fighting game and it opens up a number of interesting ideas and techniques to the mix.

On the other hand, when combat gets hectic and you’re bombarded with attacks, you will very often struggle to see what exactly is going on and if you’re indeed dodging in the correct direction. When you and your enemy are close to each other, no problem. When you move away from each other, you will repeatedly attack in the wrong direction and your view can be very easily be obscured. Luckily, when you block (Guard) incoming attacks your character will automatically stand guard facing his / her opponent.

When entering your first couple of battles you will be bombarded by hints and instructions on how to play and what the controls are. It is all explained rather well, but they give you so much information at once that it isn’t difficult to forget some of them before long. I feel that it could’ve been spread out a little more; giving the player more chance to learn and become comfortable with the controls. If I were to give you a tip, write some of the combos or hints down, or you can check the player commands if you’re unsure about certain actions. There isn’t a lack of instructions at all, but it could’ve benefited the player with more instructions over time with easier battles at the start. It may feel like the game being unfair at the start; all you need to do to survive and win the battle is all there, you just need to learn the controls and effective ways to block and properly kick some ass.

I didn’t enjoy the game at first, at all, but as I learned the controls, combos and how to trick my enemies it became rather engaging when things went my way. The combat system can be quite deep when you’re using all the elements at your disposal. Don’t throw down the controller when you’re dying a lot at the beginning, just try and think smart. It really is a combat system you have to get used to.

The game frequently jumps from one character’s perspective to the next, resulting in the player seeing a lot of different moves and preventing you from seeing the same powerful combo animation over and over.

Your HUD consists of a health bar, a Chakra bar (power bar), a bar broken up into segments to display the amount of times you can “log” an enemy’s attacks, one or two allies’ icon(s) depending on the amount of characters fighting and at the bottom-left corner you have your usable items.

Chakra is what you need to dish out powerful combos, which recharges slowly or you can make it recharge much faster by holding down the “Triangle” button. You’re vulnerable when recharging Chakra, so you have to be on your toes. Timing is crucial in this game. Recharge Chakra and risk the attacks or defend and be unable to deliver fatal blows to your enemy.

The “log” function is very valuable. When blocking / Guarding by holding down R2, you’ll be able to press L2 when your opponent’s attack strikes and teleport behind or next to your enemy, leaving a log behind. It doesn’t necessarily have to make sense, but this action is what’ll keep you alive during the very hairy fights.

Speaking of hairy fights, I should mention that this game’s difficulty curve is not very balanced. Some opponents will go down very easily while others will urge all kinds of curses from your mind. If I were to take the last few chapters of the game as examples; some fights will be over with little sweat while some will offer over-powered enemies with such a large barrage of attacks that follow one another, leaving you angrier than challenged. The game is by no means unbeatable; don’t get me wrong, the difficulty curve is just messed up.

When offering the player a choice in regards to difficulty, you can choose as to how you want to approach certain situations by either choosing the “Hero” or “Legend” path. Hero being the easier one, I strongly recommend picking the Hero option, while keeping the Legend options for a second playthrough, seeing as how you’ll be much more familiar with the controls and combat. Whenever you see a lightning strike coupled with the words: “Ultimate Decision”, you’ll know it’s time to pick the option that’ll be manageable or the option that you choose when you hate yourself more than usual. These choices can be seen as different routes through these certain situations. I quite like the choice, even though I always opted for the easier option. I’ll tackle the “Legend” options when I decide to play another playthrough. Another aspect I should mention is that these choices reward you in Hero or Legend points, upgrading your item slots to carry more of a given item within that slot and later on; using more powerful / effective gear. Food items and gear can be purchased my shops or merchants. These items are crucial to your survival. Be sure to buy enough Bento for boosting your abilities for the upcoming battle.

With the game mostly being a one on one fighter, with a few twists added every now and then, you’ll be thrown into a “Mob Battle” once in a blue moon, where you’ll have to take on more than just a few enemies at a time. These battles increase in size and difficulty as the game goes on, but the increase in enemy numbers luckily means that the opponents are weaker. These were quite a nice change of pace.

During key moments of the game (important battles), you’re placed into “Interactive Action” mode. All of the action within these sections is very well done, despite it being just a glorified way of saying that these parts of the battle will have you completing quick-time events.

Another integration into the combat that isn’t necessary to complete in order to advance, is the “Secret Factors”. You either receive one of these hidden story segments when you’ve gained enough stars in the Interactive Combat sequences or if you’re being asked to perform certain moves within regular combat.

The scenarios at the end of the game really increase in scale and you begin to realize just how big this whole affair actually is. I’m not going to spoil anything, I just would’ve liked certain key elements within the story to have some closure, but I guess that’s because the Shippuden story isn’t finished yet. Just a little closure, guys.

The game also features two other modes: Online Battles and Free Battle, alongside the Ultimate Adventure being the story mode described above.

Online Battles consist out of Ranked and Unranked matches with 2 or more players to engage in numerous modes of battle. Ranging from one on one battles to more elaborate tournament based modes with numerous players. It usually takes a while to find one match and I sometimes struggled to even find a local match. So those of you seeking solely multiplayer action will not always be satisfied. It could also be that my connection is not of the best.

Free Battle is probably where you are going to get your money’s worth other than the Ultimate Adventure. You and a friend can play on the same console with all the characters you’ve gradually unlocked during the story mode. It can be hectic and fun. I quite enjoy it when I know I’ve unlocked a character I’m going to be able to play with later. There truly is a LOT of characters to unlock. 80 characters in total.

The perfect holiday destination.

We all enjoy a superfluous location with the sole purpose of relaxation. Even if you are a workaholic, your body will remind you sooner or later that you need to take a breather while knocking back piña coladas, one after another, with a rainstorm overhead.

Some people enjoy the ocean, others the open landscapes with blades of grass as far as the eye can see, while others won’t necessarily care where they’re headed, as long as it’s away from home and work.

I bring to you the following locations to escape from the monotonous drag that life so regularly turns into, even if it offers just a little escapism for a few minutes.

Doom 3

Ah, yes. The UAC offers a five star experience for those of you who enjoy your getaways with grey, ill-lit and blood-smeared corridors.

Their corridors feature a wide array of fun to be had, including the luxurious PDA’s with nervous people talking about strange voices, failed experiments, work-related injuries caused by heavy machinery meant for opening portals to hot places, alongside a large group of staff just dying to show you the sights of the UAC and the various demons that inhabit all the crawlspaces.

Couple that with a highly regarded scientist with a laugh capable of lifting the hairs from the back your neck and flickering lights to enhance the mood.

A must for anyone seeking a place of enjoyment on Mars. (Enjoyment alongside severed limbs.)

Dishonored

For those of you seeking a grey, bleak and plague-infested, yet beautiful looking city, look no further.

The city of Dunwall offers a four and a half star experience, providing the traveler with rats gnawing at their ankles with proper, well-spirited enthusiasm.

When arriving at Dunwall, you’ll receive a complimentary talking heart. Hearty will provide you with the latest fashion tips, local radio stations and many more. Hearty also loves a good gossip session, telling you about everyone and their pet rat’s secret.

Room service will continue to amaze while visiting Dunwall. Reason for that being the revolutionary Blink Room and Courier Service. Your food arrives at the door before you’ve had a chance to sign the letter containing your order.

Last, but certainly not least, don’t forget about the tour guides lurking in the shadows. Their creepy masks and pointy objects will provide for an unforgettable travel experience. You won’t see them, but rest assured; they’re there.

Spec Ops The Line

While Dubai is to be considered a great destination for some, I’d rather direct your attention to this lovely version of Dubai featuring quite a variety of architecture designed to look like it’s destroyed and almost everybody having departed their Earthly vessels littering the way to show you to your room.

Loads of White Phosphorus fireworks and the Leaking Water Truck Catering Service™ await those seeking the ultimate adventure.

A week in this location is bound to change your life. Take a whiff of the gunpowder and decomposing residents and you can be assured to have a unique and thought-provoking experience.

For those of you yearning for a course in getting to know your holiday destination; Yager Resorts proudly presents: “YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON!”

Be sure to bring the kids.

Slender

Inviting you to a joyous reunion with your Secret Admirer, Slender Inc. invites you to their very own auspicious and All-Time Night-Infused Forest. Every object and natural tree will look suspicious. Your fees will grant you the privileges of a flashlight, poor stamina and loads of piano crashes.

A must for the folks who are unsatisfied with their unsoiled pants.

Fallout New Vegas

If you’ve been a recent victim to a fatal gunshot wound to the head, why not clock in at New Vegas Resorts?

Where mutants, giant flies and bandits will assault you for very little reason while your maths teacher provide the results of your efficiency in battle.

Barren wastelands will be a true companion if you’ve recently escaped from an insane asylum and desire a change of scenery. A change of scenery guaranteed to provide a desire to rob everyone around you.

Radiation, here we come!

Splatterhouse

Satan’s Mask Mansion will astound couples who seek a romantic getaway. If you want to impress your dearly beloved, no matter what the occasion, be sure to visit.

Creaky corridors, hungry creatures, hallways with no aroma other than layer upon layer of dried blood, talking masks and a kidnapped girlfriend guaranteed!

Perhaps you have felt that your love life needed some spicing up? A boyfriend laying in a puddle of his own blood, reaching to whatever chance he can get to rescue his kidnapped girlfriend coupled with a sadistic talking mask giving you a second chance, while buffing you up from a scrawny bloke to a body-builder shaped maniac, will do the trick and get some blood pumping again.

Does ripping off a monsters arm and slamming his buddies against the wall with it sound like a relaxing proposition for you and your true love?

Look no further.

Dante’s Inferno

The strong aroma of blazing-hot brimstone filling your nose. A crowd of locals cheering you on as you sprint across the room to kiss your woman. Wait. Sorry, that is actual brimstone burning through your nose and walls made from damned people screaming in agony while you try to free your woman’s soul from Lucifer himself. My bad.

We offer an experience so unique it cannot be measured in a rating consisting of 5 stars; we’d rather opt for a system consisting of 9 circles. 9 circles smelted together with pure agony and damned riches.

We strive for a relaxing and joyous experience, however briefly.

A Note From Your Travel Agent:

Dear client,

We regret to inform you that we weren’t able to find a perfect getaway location for you and your family.

Customer satisfaction is our number one goal and we recommend the seven joyous locations above, hand-picked with all the care in the world to ensure you a wondrous trip.

Please provide feedback upon your return.

Regards,
The Cuddly Bunny Traveling Team

I am totally stealing the following idea from a movie. Let’s call it our guessing game for this lovely, hopefully not too blue, Monday.

For now, I ask you to mentally leave the office, workplace and / or home to the land of make belief. If it’s possible, please place some sort of mechanism that triggers a little bell or provides you with an electric jolt when management is nearing your office. The last thing we need today is someone getting fired for dozing off while on duty. If you are operating heavy machinery, please, put down any and all devices, maintaining focus on the deadly equipment. Perhaps reading this during lunch would be more preferable? We don’t need people fused with machinery due to brave reading habits.

Imagine a bunch of your favourite games to be sealed inside a container, which will only be opened in exactly 50 years. Your favourite shooter, your most beloved hack and slash game, your cherished RPG and your most exhilarating fighter.

You pick these games.

Now imagine this capsule being opened in exactly half a century. What will the reaction be?

Will the format of DVD and Blu-Ray discs be supported, or will there even be something resembling a disc? Maybe everything is digital.

Besides the issues with compatibility, how will these games be received? I’m not sure this will be something that is easily predictable. Novels can still be appreciated after two hundred years. Will the gamers then react to our most beloved and cherished titles like the concept sketch of a puppet show to some people today?

Visuals are not the only thing we should take into account here; we should think about the actual gameplay. For all we know, the folks from 2063 are sitting stock still, while playing the game(s) in their mind.

Not the easiest of predictions, I tell you that. Who knows? Will there even be a 2063? For all we know, the human colonies are living on their favourite planet nearest to Proxima Centauri while stick insects with laser toenails roam the Earth as conquerors…

Since the release of SimCity I don’t seem to recall a single positive article regarding the game. I haven’t played it myself and I’m not sure if I will ever do so. You see, the main reason why I moved to console gaming was the lack of monthly cap to play games on PC that requires a constant internet connection. Never mind the mountainous updates that accompanied almost every game after a while. Nothing against the PC gaming crowd or Steam or anything of the sort; it’s just that I do not have the necessary amount of monthly internet data to play games that requires at least one third of the actual game still to be downloaded.

With rumours going about that the next generation of consoles will require a constant internet connection; I cannot seem to utter anything other than a trembling whimper consisting solely of unease. That’s not what I’m here to talk about today. I merely wish to speak about the train of thought that developed due to the SimCity calamity.

Trains of thought haunt me daily with so many aspects in life, but we’re here to talk about games. Glorious games. Like I mentioned above; SimCity haven’t had the best of luck since its release. Although I don’t know if I should blame it on something like luck or the lack thereof.

Not all, but most gamers complain about the game being completely unplayable. The very first questions that came to my mind was: “Why did EA / Maxi’s ship a game in this state?” and “Why aren’t the servers ready to handle the massive clump of gamers wanting to play?”

Did they send the game to be pressed knowing that the servers will not be able to handle the quantity of copies being processed? Seeing as how they were aware that a majority of your assets are stored on the servers, why weren’t they ready?

We live in a world where money rules everything and there is very little time for the creative and daring to receive funding. We know that publishers can be a terribly greedy bunch of soulless husks people, but are they so damn greedy that when they know a game or the name attached to said game will sell like a cake made from all kinds of delicious assortments, that they’re willing to jeopardize so much all for the sake of money and nothing else?

I honestly don’t know what to think about all this and I’m not even one of the guys (or gals) playing or trying to play it.

We’ve read about one gamer wanting a refund while his Origin account were to be closed if he continued to pursue that very refund. Seriously, why did gaming turn into a chore? (Not just referring to the always connected DRM.) Why did gaming become a cesspit specifically for the money-hungry publishers? What happened to the days when your most agonizing part of gaming was to blow the dust out of your cassettes?

I’ve read and heard a few times that it is about gaming growing up and being more focused on profit. No, just no.

Think about it. You come home from a long day at work or you’ve just finished up your studies for the day, only wanting to unwind and shoot a few monsters in the face or slice an airborne chopper into 257.9 pieces while it is being flinged at your gender-defining parts, but wait! You cannot do that! Please download 5.89GB before proceeding and while you’re at it please pay for “downloadable content” that’s already on the disc you’ve paid for. That’s not unwinding, that’s a considerable amount of steps closer to an unavoidable aneurysm.

Ken Levine said in an interview regarding BioShock Infinite about players playing the game the way they want to, because it is their game. The very thought of owning BioShock Infinite is wondrous, but recently it’s starting to feel like this when looking at other games: “Here’s 56.217% of the game on a disc all yours. What’s that? You want the rest? Oh, don’t be silly, that’s not yours. We’ll keep it on our servers and you can play to your heart’s content when we feel like it’s alright to have them active. We wouldn’t want you to enjoy yourself and unwind while the servers do all the hard work. So, please, don’t expect us to get up from our comfortable pile of money.”

I really do not tend to be cynical, but I cannot for the life of me relax about the future of gaming while it turns into a soulless corporate mess. It’s supposed to be a perfect mix of technicality and creative ideas.

A game’s name has the potential of creating quite a stir. Whether that stir be in a commercial or critical sense, it may well be a game’s rise to glory or the cause of a downfall straight to the Ninth circle.

It isn’t necessarily supposed to be the case, but it certainly does have an effect nevertheless. So, without causing a stir right here and now, play some soothing jazz and let your retinas tumble back and forth across the following words.

I had the splendid fortune of playing Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance this past week and I ended up enjoying it quite a bit more than I had originally thought I would. I’ve been paying attention to this game for quite some time now and while I looked forward to it, the change in developer and delays had me play the role of a skeptic. Not something I usually do.

After completing the game and already planning to play it yet again, it had me thinking about something.

While the game may not appeal to everyone, seeing as how it’s heavily Japanese in style and visuals, which is something I’ve been fond of, despite the fact that I’m not a JRPG fan. The sheer amount of preposterousness in terms of realistic combat is staggering. Why not pick a robot the size large house and fling it over to expose a weak-spot of some sort? Raiden does it, all while keeping his pose and structural integrity without any of his organs dripping from his ears.

It the complete opposite when you look at Metal Gear Solid. It is the same universe, but from two totally different ends of the Metal Gear spectrum. If you look at crawling around on the floor in a very suggestive and erotic manner to avoid detection as Solid Snake versus chopping a guy into a thousand literal pieces in slow motion while being fired upon from three other enemies and a robot on its way to kick you like a football with the goal being the length of numerous football fields away, as Raiden, one is bound to see a slight difference. Both incredibly bad-ass, don’t get me wrong, but different in such a drastic measure, it doesn’t remotely feel as if it is from the same franchise.

It had me trying to think about other games with the same name and coming from two totally different stances. Sure, it’s Metal Gear Rising against Metal Gear Solid, but still Metal Gear. I cannot for the life of me think about something like this. It is like playing as one of the numerous old ladies being run over by Niko Bellic & Tommy Vercetti Inc. in Grand Theft Auto.

Please help me think of other games where you play as the lonely bar-stool instead of the bad-ass that shoves various extremities into all sorts of butts.

Over the years, Dead Space has ignited more than just a few conversations across the gaming landscape. Whether it is positive or negative, there was no denying of the fact that it is one of a kind and succeeds at what it set out to do. It provided you with jump-scares that you didn’t quite know you had inside of you, while the bloodthirsty Necromorphs keep coming at you with unseen ferocity. What first started out on a planet cracking vessel entitled the USG Ishimura, moved on to a more “inhabited” setting, the Titan Station / Sprawl. Still very unnerving, yet with more focus on action in Dead Space 2, the series got hammered down by some for trying to do something different. I, for one, liked both of the first games and still think that they both succeeded very well with what they had to provide us and our many unsoiled pants.

Dead Space, as a series, has been one infused with dementia, lots of suspicious looking corpses, well put together atmosphere coupled with a nerve-wrecking orchestral score alongside sound effects that will have even the most battle-hardened bad-ass whimpering in the nearest dark corner. Paranoia having us question the true motivation of that specific dark corner and the potential of contents of that space. Let us not forget about the different take on the player’s HUD and the crucial dismemberment in combat.

Let us take a look at Dead Space 3 and see how everything stands.

I strongly advise you to play the first two games–if you haven’t done that already–before you jump into this one. Various plot elements are carried over from the previous games.

2541.

We find Isaac on the New Horizons Lunar Colony three years after the events of the second game. Still not having the best of days, looking at an old photograph of Ellie Langford–a character from the second game–we can begin to see that a romantic history developed while we weren’t watching. Why, Visceral Games, why? Who says we didn’t want to see the romantic part develop in visceral detail…?

Unfortunately for us and them, that romance was broken off by Isaac when Ellie left in search of a way to stop those pesky Markers. (After a certain something that happened in Dead Space 2, Ellie lost an eye, and I’m glad to report my confusion on how Visceral forgot that one part about her losing an eye, but we’re in the future now and Ellie’s eye is repaired. A slight distinction can be seen when looking closely in terms of eye colour.)

Speaking of those bothersome Markers, we’re up to our knees with them this time around, still causing havoc and more so than before.

BUT! He’s still looking at the photograph while on the New Horizons Lunar Colony. His Marker-touched mind still struggling, he hears a noise and when he’s off to inspect it with a Plasma Cutter ready in hand, he gets knocked over the head by our secondary main character, Sergeant John Carver accompanied by a new character, Robert Norton. (One of the few and new totally unlikable characters.)

Ellie manages to gather information on how to stop the Necromorph infection for good and therefore asks Norton to find Isaac at New Horizons. His Marker building and destroying knowledge / abilities much needed in this exact point in time.

Not before long we meet the game’s primary antagonist and first-grade ass, Jacob Danik, who purposefully unleashed another outbreak of Necromorphs. Searching for a way to increase the outbreak, as well, to his maniacal and desired size. In short, no humans or any life forms left without being one with a Marker source. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend this and after I played the game, I’m recommending it even less.

There is so much I want to talk about in regards to story, but eventually I’ll have to linger into spoiler territory, leaving you without any surprises. So, I’ll stop here and not mention anything about Robert Norton and Ellie’s love interest. Seriously, Isaac cannot catch a break without anyone trying to smooch his ex.

Throughout Dead Space 3, you’ll encounter terrain of various shapes, sizes and scales. At first, you play for a very brief while as a Marine searching for The Codex, which is crucial to the game’s plot, in a snowy and freezing environment. Then, as Isaac, you get knocked over the head as mentioned above, and explore the New Horizons Lunar Colony, trying to escape from Danik and his mercenaries. You’ll go through buildings and alleyways, with dogs barking at you from behind doors, like you’re some sort of pedophilic postman. Not before long, you’re on a ship, receiving your own suit and flying around space in said suit.

You’ll still find yourself in the lonesome and atmospheric corridors with countless enemies gnawing at your calves and stabbing you in your aforementioned face.

Other than that, you’ll explore the vast vistas of Tau Volantis, an ice planet which turns out to be central to the plot. There is another unexpected environment in the final portion of the game which I sincerely want to talk about and elaborate in terms of the story and rather unorthodox change of scenery.

Let’s just say that the end boss battle is relatively large in scale and another environment is also involved. (Cue The X-Files theme.)

The previous two Dead Space games had some deadly weapons and tools. However, in this Dead Space game, you “build” your weapons. You’ll pick up various weapon parts throughout the game and this increases your destructive pallet.

Different grips means different or multiple weapons attachments. Different attachments mean different effects and usefulness. Different effects add more flavor and less gnawed upon shins.

At the beginning, you’ll have very few weapon modifications and this will hopefully encourage players to explore every dark nook and cranny. Exploration is key to this new system within the game. If you’re not finding new parts for your one or two carried weapons, you’ll find blueprints to weapon parts, entire weapons and weapon attachments.

You may create your own blueprints of already assembled weapons and share them with other players.

This new weapon system does have its ups and downs, though. If you have the right combination of parts all assembled into one overpowered, acid spewing shotgun of death, there is little challenge and the tension is not always as much.

I sometimes felt that I had an underpowered weapon and struggled with quite a few segments on Normal difficulty, even though I had looked around every possible corner for supplies and weapon parts, I sometimes struggled with every known Necromorph and soldier in the immediate vicinity.

Despite everything above, I did enjoy going to the Bench every time I stumbled upon a new weapon part or attachment. It forces you to be creative. Murderous, but still creative.

Micro-transactions: The thing that made so many headlines, causing the internet to explode with their hatred towards EA.

Let me clarify something about that. It is there, alright. It will ask for real money, where if your heart desires extra supplies and scrap metal you can buy some. I can see why people are upset about it, without a doubt, but I didn’t even notice it until I went to look for it.

It is out of the way, and only available when you’re online. Does this impact the game negatively in any way? No. Does is lower the opinion everyone has of EA? Yes.

My honest opinion; I don’t want micro-transations in my horror game, but I had to go look for it, so that’s a plus in my eyes. At first, I had the general idea in my head that every few minutes a pop-up message will indeed pop-up and ask if I want extra soft diapers alongside the extra supplies, but I can say for certain that, that isn’t even remotely the case.

I actually bought some of those supplies… With Ration Stamps I earned in-game. Where did I receive Ration Stamps? With my little supply-gathering robot pal of course.

Not long into the game, you’ll find your first Supply Bot, and you may carry three of the dependable guys in total. These supply bots can be deployed anywhere in the environment, but if you lend your ear often enough you’ll hear a beeping sound when you’re close to a certain spot and when you deploy this bot in these areas, you’ll receive much more supplies when you return to the nearest Bench.

When you equip the supply bot and aim with it, you’ll see a mini radar showing the direction and level of the next “supply hotspot”. A cone-like shape indicating the direction and arrows on the side of the little screen, telling you whether it is above or below you, or indeed the level you’re currently on.

I do feel that if more indication were given to these spots, other that the somewhat soft beeping noise, I would be more happy with it, due to the fact that I missed so many supplies during my first playthrough.

Supplies like scrap metal, tungsten and somatic gel can be picked up while playing, in supply stashes and are scattered all over the area. Enemies may also drop supplies instead of ammunition and med kits, so if you miss one, it’s not a total train wreck. Ammunition is being handled differently this time around. Instead of having separate ammo for every weapon, your ammo will work universally for all weapons. This does, however, decrease the tension somewhat.

When you have enough Ration stamps, it can be redeemed for extra supplies via the “Downloadable Content” option when interacting at the Bench. No extra money needs to be given out for extra supplies when using Ration Stamps, but you need to be connected online, which is genuinely unfair to those without a constantly connected internet connection.

You don’t use credits in this installment of Dead Space, but rather crafting items with the much needed aforesaid supplies. There isn’t a shop anymore, just the Bench where you craft your goods and upgrade weapons and the Suit Kiosks, where you may try on your latest acquired suit or switch between suits.

If you’re not familiar with Dead Space’s gameplay, I once again, strongly recommend that you play the previous two games before diving in with the third title.

The gameplay is still the same as the previous two games, with differences here and there. It is still third-person shooting from a over the shoulder perspective.

The HUD is still brilliantly incorporated into Isaac’s suit while doing a great deal for immersion.

One new feature for a Dead Space game is the Optional Missions. I admit that I was a bit weirded out by the inclusion of side mission in a game like Dead Space, but when I first played it and see how it was all put together it made much more sense than the picture I had in my mind. Usually it is a radio signal being picked up by you or one of the people working alongside you in this endeavor. A supply stash can be found if you venture into these areas and it fitted in quite nicely with the rest, feeling like you’re doing it for extra help or much needed supplies, instead of what I initially thought; kill nine and a half pukers in this area. You don’t have to do them, but you’ll be missing out on some rather interesting situations. Once again, I’d like to elaborate, but spoilers.

The aiming reticule can be changed from normal to classic, I preferred classic, because it is like the previous Dead Space games, instead of a reticule like other shooters.

Speaking of shooters, lots of people complained about the series taking a more action orientated route in Dead Space 2, and while it had more action, it still had amazing moments and brutally spectacular set pieces. Not everyone appreciated this, and I’m afraid to say that those people will still be disappointed with Dead Space 3, if not more disappointed. The reason for this is that it is a lot more action orientated. I, for one, still enjoyed the game despite it taking a somewhat different direction. Let’s be honest, shooting human blokes feels really weird at first, but it is in the minority and the main focus is still on the freaky-ass Necromorphs and their new pals.

Sometimes there is just too many enemies at once, causing frustration instead of tension. It is probably my biggest gripe with this game; it doesn’t feel as balanced as the previous two. Crank that up to “Classic” difficulty where you’re limited to the weapons in the previous games, with resources extra scarce, and it’s even more frustrating. It was always just enough enemies to get the adrenaline pumping, but when you’re bombarded with a crap-ton of Necro-blokes, it gets a bit old and frustrating after a while. Especially when they’re much faster than before.

The game still features quite a few jump scares, I admit that with zero shame, but it still doesn’t have that same amount of tension to be had as in the original game. It doesn’t bring down the game’s quality, make no mistake, it’s polished and you can see that a lot of work went into this game.

You must remember that there will always be someone happy and someone sad when a new direction is taken anywhere in life. If your product stays the same, people will encourage you to try something new. If you try something new, some people are not happy with that, because they like the original formula. Either way, there will always be people that like / appreciate the new direction and some people that dislike the living hell out of it. Taste differs, we have to accept that.

Another aspect new to Dead Space 3 is cooperative gameplay.

I was skeptic beyond all measure about this when it was originally announced, don’t be mistaken. After playing about three quarters of the game in cooperative mode alongside Marko, both he and I will attest to the fact that there is nothing to worry about.

We had tremendous amounts of fun with this game’s co-op and we made peace with the fact that what little tension remained, got thrown out the window when playing this in co-op. That was the case, originally. Until the co-op missions were introduced…

The co-op missions are superb in terms of immersion and atmosphere. All trash talking and kidding around went out the nearest vent when the creepy shit started happening in these co-op missions. Immediately we were taken from joyous fooling around to actually being creeped out. We owe this to John Carver’s back story. The second player plays from the perspective of John Carver.

What made this so unique and damn engaging was that Isaac was not seeing what John was seeing and while one player being creeped by what he is actually seeing, the other player will be creeped out what he isn’t seeing. Let me explain.

Marko played as Isaac Clarke and I played as John Carver. Carver’s wife and son are dead and something about them and his troubled past comes through every now and then. As we progress though these co-op missions, more and more get revealed, adding to the atmosphere. Carver continuously witness a “Nutcracker” doll throughout these co-op missions while Marko, playing from Isaac’s perspective, only have my word for what I am indeed seeing. I so desperately want to tell you more, but it is better left unspoiled. Let’s just say that there was a single moment where both players can see what Carver is seeing, causing both myself and Marko to simultaneously burst asunder with goosebumps all over. Holy shit, that was certainly something else.

I sincerely wished that the single player could have as much back story for Carver, because it fits with the Dead Space name so much; it’s a darn shame that players who only played single player will miss that, and that from a game that started out purely single player.

There is so much here to love and so much for some people to dislike. The quality of set pieces are astounding, the one specific macabre puzzle made me like the main menu even more, the environments boast interesting traits and the one boss fight at the end have probably the most ironic way for you to weaken it. Not for every Dead Space fan out there, but change isn’t always bad, right?

I recently acquired a game that I’m currently keeping top secret*, specifically for your guessing merriment.

It made me think once again about the emotions carried over from a video game to your internal and emotional nucleus. What triggers the emotion inside of us while gaming?

Shall we find out?

I’ve recently uncovered the following from undisclosed, albeit reliable sources and that is that people often tend to mix up sadness with something emotional. These are two different aspects to a story being told. When someone is dying every ten paces with the most tear jerking orchestra–to date–playing in the background you’ll quickly reach for the tissues or maybe even a razor blade, depending on your current outlook on life.

While sadness tends to have a definite effect on those people who do indeed care, there’s something I came to realise and that is that I felt something while playing the aforementioned unknown and completely un-guessable downloadable game that wasn’t sadness, but truly emotional.

I’m still trying to find out why exactly had this enormous effect on me, so your guess is as good as mine. I don’t know whether it is the fact that I have to piece together the story in my head and use my imagination instead of being spoon fed from the narrative bowl. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a tasty bowl to masticate from.

Maybe it was the music or the visuals?

An abstract quality to those already mentioned?

I’m putting most of my cards on all of those I mentioned, but that still doesn’t clear up anything we’ve been questioning.

Therefore I’m asking you, dear readers, what truly brings forth the emotion buried deep within ourselves while gaming?

*I’ve already told two people, so it’s official; my top secret initiative to keep this secret buried, sucks. (The two of you, I’m afraid, are not allowed to guess, I’m sincerely sorry about that. The rules I made up just now are rules.)

No, this is not some smart title to mock a local tragedy.

I’m referring to The Oscars that showed during the wee morning hours at 3:30. It simply is a feast for the movie enthusiasts. The extra special movies receiving recognition for their brilliant storytelling, superb visual effects, best director and everything that goes with it. Special appearances are made for musical segments in between the announcements. Everyone’s wearing special evening attire and no expenses are spared.

This got me thinking.

Why does gaming not receive this treatment?

Films have come a much longer way than games and that surely counts in its favour, but I still think the majority of the populace underestimate the gaming way of storytelling. Not every game out there will be able boast a truly marvelous example in terms of narrative, that’s for sure, and I know what you’re thinking, gaming does have “Game of the Year” awards. That is true, yes, but nothing as official and big as The Oscars. The presenter boasted about more than 1 billion viewers, and I would be so ever thankful if gaming could swank such numbers for an event like that.

Imagine all the developers neatly encased in their tuxedos and fancy vestments. The Steven Spielbergs and Hugh Jackmans of the gaming industry all stealing their very own slice of limelight.

I feel the same way about books and their way of telling a story. Every form of narrative deserves the best form of recognition and a major calamity based solely around the achievements made in that specific framework of entertainment.

Films are much more widespread than games and the amount of people I encounter throughout my life with the attitude of “Gaming is for children and you need to find a more appropriate grown-up hobby” are staggering. Sure, you’ll find your mindless games with little to almost no story, but why do people forget about the equivalent of that in the film industry?

A ninety minute popcorn movie with badly written dialogue and gunfire alongside explosions from start to finish. It is there, no doubt about that, but they focus on the best of the best. (See: Life of Pi, for example.)

The same can be done in the case of gaming. We can focus on the best and what feels best while playing.

That may be another aspect we forget about. Films are us, the audience, playing the role of a witness. Games however places us in the shoes of someone and it is not only just about the story. It can have the best story, the most spectacular looking visuals and voice acting beyond your wildest dreams, but if it plays like absolute sewage water in a plastic cup, the audience will run away with flailing arms above their heads. It’s not just a narrative, it is an interactive way of telling a story. You have control over the pace, you have control over the time it takes for you to move from point A to point B. A movie is a settled length and therefore the audience have a rough idea of how long they will be in this world the movie provides.

Gaming on the other hand varies rather drastically. When you go to the cinema, you know you’ll be watching flickering images for about ninety to one hundred and eight minutes. A game will not always be seen as relevant if it’s even remotely as short as that. RPG’s will rob countless hours of a gamers life if it does its job correctly and lure the player in properly.

If you were to announce your movie will be around one hundred plus hours, how many people will cue up in a line to feast their eyes upon it? Very little, I imagine.

The point I’m trying to make here, if you’re still reading, is that it is not fair to associate these brilliant ways of telling a story with one another. They are both able to excel in their own way.

As much as I’d like to see the scale of a “Game of the Year” awards on par with The Oscars, I think we’ll have to do with what we have for now.

Who knows? Perhaps we’ll have something on a grand scale for gaming in 20 years from now?

We can only hope.

With the prospect of a “New Year” already feeling like it’s part of some archive within a secret government filing cabinet, neatly encased underground, the year of 2013 is already going full swing like there is no tomorrow. For all we know, there is no definite tomorrow. Gaming receiving less time than it deserves makes some unhappy pandas in the dull wasteland of everyday life.

One tries to game as much as possible, whether there be success or none at all, life goes on.

We may feel the need to rush through a game, wanting to know the next story aspect or perhaps a true motivation to unfold, but you’ll very often find a game demanding you to slow down and think a bit more than one usually does.

Gaming time is precious and if you don’t savour the time you have, you’ll either regret using that time to rush blindly through the game, just for the sake of finishing it or you can take your time, not progressing as much, but appreciating the scenery and exploring for hidden items or extra goodies.

If an action game comes to an unexpected halt, wanting you to solve a small puzzle, why do you think that is? That puzzle may be so trivial, you’ll wonder why it is even there, but there is a reason for that. If you’re needed to slow down the pace and take a few moments to think beyond shooting the ugly mothers, the scenarios may feel more like series of escalating events instead of a continuous blur consisting solely of gunfire and guts covering the screen.

It may not even be a puzzle, but rather a section where there’s character interaction alongside a few lines of dialogue. Just something to change the pace.

In Crysis 2 a whole building crumbles to the ground before your eyes and an alien tower-thingy erupts from underneath the streets, causing you to witness this and fall from an airborne helicopter. Why did these moments feel so big and epic? It was paced properly and it didn’t happen from start to finish.

You’re more likely to remember something that happens rarely or nothing will feel special in the end.

Say cheese!

We all know the blinding, gleaming flash encapsulating that precise moment on film. Memory cards are the new film. Whether you’re sneezing or winking the camera feels no regret; it continues as it’s being told, and a picture is imprinted onto its memory. No matter how plain, how energetic or abstract the landscape in front of the camera is, it will capture the imagery when it’s told to do so.

Some of us love photos, jumping up and down from pure enthusiasm, while the other bunch of us cower underneath the nearest piece of furniture or perhaps in some cases, the nearest stripper. After you’re beat up by the stripper’s bodyguard, you’ll walk over to the cameraman and return the favour you’ve learned from the aforementioned bodyguard.

Another example I can use in terms of photographs are the ones hanging in peoples homes. Most of the time, it is of the people who lives there and you’ll find some of where they’re on a beach chilling in the blazing sun. Other times you’ll find a few black and white ones from previous generations. Everyone standing in a unfriendly trance, waiting to go out and chew on some infants. I really do find the old photos to be rather unnerving in some cases. Usually there is always a freaky-ass aunt staring at you with white-hot hatred or revulsion, and the best of all is that you don’t even know this woman. Photos can be filled with happy times, or quite frankly, photoshopped ghosts.

We see a bunch screenshots, stills and wallpapers of our favourite gaming character while they’re busy punching someone or just standing there to look cool. Have you ever wondered what your favourite gaming dude or girl looks like in their family photos? Maybe it’s just a normal photo; we’ll never know.

Let’s take a look at these gaming folk and how their photos may look like one day.

Resident Evil 5′s Chris Redfield

If you haven’t played Resident Evil 5 or you haven’t seen a picture of Chris Redfield in that game, please watch a gameplay video where he’s punching a Majini’s head into pieces or search for a picture of his biceps. I’m pretty sure you won’t find any family portraits. You’ll, however, find a plethora of pictures of him working out and injecting himself with illegal-grade steroids. Maybe a still or two where he features in an 8mm pornographic movie. We don’t know what he did before he took up zombie killing.

Gears of War’s Marcus Fenix

Throughout the Gears of War series, there is mention and perhaps a sight or two of Marcus’ father, and the planet of Sera were intact at some stage, so I definitely think that he’ll have a family photo lying about somewhere. He’ll maybe have one where he chills with a girlfriend in a local drive-in cinema. However, we know him as the gruff and tough, constantly angry, armoured bad-ass. My first idea of a family photo will not have him in the foreground, but rather running full speed in the background with a revved-up Lancer, screaming at the top of his lungs while chasing a fly that looked at him funny. All of this while his possible startled family stares into the camera as if nothing is wrong or at least pretending to do so.

Prince of Persia’s Prince

It’s no secret. The Prince is always in the middle of some kind of catastrophe. If he’s not running about the place with 60 minutes to save a princess, he’s running around while buildings are crumbling to the ground around him or a Dahaka is chasing him, he’ll probably clean windows. Every love interest he has gets killed or captured somehow, so the actuality of a family and children are rather minor. Two possibilities for a family photo, or in this case, lonesome photo are either him climbing a building consisting purely out of windows or a city caught in some kind of ancient catastrophe with a little blimp jumping across the rooftops.

Max Payne 3′s Max Payne

Not everyone liked Max Payne 3 and whether you liked it or not, that is not important here. What is important however is his photo. Surely, there will be no woman of a romantic nature, but rather a fresh bloodstain. Woman does not have the best of luck around Max Payne. He’ll either be seen popping copious amounts of painkillers or hurtling through the air in a vertical, lying on his side on the beach-like pose. A lot of gunfire will be seen in the background alongside his mouth being open due to his constant narration.

Hitman’s Agent 47

This one is much more difficult. He can be anyone. Take a photo of the nearest intersection, and I bet you won’t see him, until he’s either emptying both of his Silverballers into the crowd, hoping to eventually hit his mark, or when he’s garroting the nearest transvestite.

Splinter Cell’s Sam Fisher

I’m referring to the more old-school, Chaos Theory Sam Fisher. You may not be able to see him, but he’s there, alright.

Catherine’s Vincent Brooks

Catherine is one of those games that too few people had the pleasure of playing. It’s about a bloke trapped in a nightmarish love triangle and as if that weren’t enough, he also has to deal with real life-threatening nightmares. I imagine his family portrait or anything even remotely taken with a camera to be him standing between Catherine and Katherine, while sweating like an anxious human waterfall. Constantly sweating.

The Testament of Sherlock Holmes’ Sherlock Holmes

While the game(s) may not appeal to everyone, one can however speculate about his family portrait. I do not see him as a family man, but if he does however settle down and marry a splendid young lady, I still do not see him partake in the actual taking of the photos. He’ll either be searching for something his newlywed wife has lost in the past minute or perhaps ogling the other members in the photo with suspicion and deducting their true intentions. Be it sniffing, licking or inspecting the closest object of interest, he’ll be doing just that. Expect Watson to be standing with his hands against his face, mumbling out of pure hopelessness.

Far Cry 3′s Jason Brody

The game starts with you watching a video about your vacation activities, so there’s already quite a few photos to choose from. It may not be a serious family photo, but hey, there’s definitely family among those couple of vacationers, however briefly. Jason’s photo can be quite varied in terms of the events that we see him partake in. Think of a lovely postcard portraying the very Rook Islands the game takes place in, but in the distance you’ll see a young man shooting local wildlife with a .50 caliber sniper rifle after which he skins the animal and crafts a lovely bandolier on the spot from the still warm animal’s skin. Perhaps he’ll be running around with seven syringes hanging from his wrists with 3 heavy armoured mercenaries in pursuit. Maybe he gets eaten by a crocodile? For all we know, he may be searching for medicinal herbs while having sex with a resplendently looking local tribal leader. The possibilities are endless for Jason Brody.

Wrapping Up

I have to admit that none of these candidates did however provide a legit photo while standing with his or her family. It would’ve been rather boring if that were indeed the case. Share with us your favourite gaming character family photos and stories.

Time goes by very quickly. This year as feels as though the tempo, with which every day passes, is increased tenfold. It feels like it was the very first day of the year not too long ago. Look at it, the second month of 2013 isn’t even that far from coming to a close.

I don’t know why this year feels so much more hectic than previous years. Every year goes by with added cadence each time. I don’t necessarily like the idea of time passing so quickly. Sure, it is another day closer to BioShock Infinite, which is phenomenal, but I cannot help but feel as though there is still too much that needs to be done in my life, and I know the momentum will only increase as time goes by.

It is a scary prospect, people. Time is one thing we cannot beat. Metal starts to rust, rocks get broken down by the sun and the wind, our bodies starts to lose its energetic and supple nature.

With all this in mind I tend to play as many games as humanly possible. It may not always be practical, due to finances or as mentioned above; the lack of time. We all have stuff and daily activities that need doing. I try to get my hands on as many games as I can, but I sometimes feel as though I’m playing too many serious games. Nothing wrong with that, just that a change of pace is needed every now and then. Lately I’ve been playing a little bit of DmC, and finished it for a second time two days ago. Still highly entertaining; I kept finding myself playing “smaller” games.

No big budget games kept my attention or provided enough escapism when faced with a human battery dangling on the side of being passed out.

Two games that weren’t as serious were Serious Sam 3: BFE (ironically) and Little Inferno. Little Inferno does have a serious message to be had, but it proved to be a ton of fun, while Serious Sam 3 bamboozled me with countless waves of screaming enemies. (The cut-scenes are not very nice at all, but the gameplay provided enough gore and mindless shooting to help.) Each of them are fun in their own way, and highly entertaining, too. I’m not even sure in what genre Little Inferno will find itself.

Those were my two games that helped me escape the ordinary life these last few weeks; in between other games. What games do you like to escape from horrendous management or bothersome folk?

BioShock ascends from the murky depths of the dark-blue ocean to a complete opposite end of the spectrum. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s all have a big Vigor-infused round of applause to the floating city of Columbia. BioShock Infinite has so many ideas and enigmas surrounding it, causing this writer occasional twitching and chronic foaming at the mouth, all out of sheer anticipation for a game setting out to be a one of a kind roller-coaster ride. Literally.

Title: BioShock Infinite
Developer: Irrational Games
Publisher: 2K Games
Players: 1
Platforms: Xbox 360, PS3, PC
Expected Price: R631 (PS3, Xbox 360), R451 (PC)
Release Date: 26 March 2013

Have you ever felt that a certain game, book or movie was made specifically for you? In my case, it’s BioShock Infinite. From the very first announcement trailer and interviews, the whole idea of a floating city had my attention. More interviews emerged over time. A 15 minute gameplay demo was shown at E3 2011. That demo right there confirmed my fondness for the whole concept. As time went by, interviews and more gameplay sprouted its way to us. Just when I think they cannot amaze me any further, the next trailer comes out; proving my aforementioned statement moot.

There’s so much going for this game, and there’s so many aspects that needs to be addressed. Where to begin?

Accompany me to a brief glimpse of Columbia.

The Plot

The game takes place several decades prior to the original BioShock in a post- Civil War America. You play as a former Pinkerton agent named Booker Dewitt. Booker finds himself in a jam with a hefty amount of gambling debt. Being offered the deceptively straight-forward job to find a certain woman and clear himself of said debt. Simple premise, but let’s be honest here, do things always go smoothly during these stories? Booker makes his way over to Columbia with a rather familiar looking start in comparison to the original BioShock, yet a completely different mode of transportation is used to get him there. He searches for Elizabeth, eventually finding her, complete with books being thrown at his face, he quickly realises that nothing is as it seems. Elizabeth has a lot of hidden potential and is probably the most powerful person on Columbia.

He finds himself in the middle of a civil war between the Founders and the Vox Populi. Two deadly forces believing their way is the only right way. Massacres in the streets, screams emitting from houses followed by a multitude of gunshots. Everyday folk being butchered and mugged on the street, all while the Founders and Vox Populi are running all over the place. Finding Elizabeth seems to be child’s play compared to the actual getting away and rescue part. As if things weren’t complicated enough, Elizabeth’s jailor, protector and only friend, the Songbird, a hulking mechanical entity/being/monstrosity is dead-set on keeping Elizabeth in her tower.

The Founders are led by Father Comstock or rather Zachary Hale Comstock. A prophet able to predict the attack of Booker DeWitt and his enemies. Many speculations surrounding this character can be seen on propaganda poster scattered all over Columbia. Is he a false prophet or indeed the real deal?

The Vox Populi are led by Daisy Fitzroy. Her message and appearance can be seen on various banners alongside projectors playing messages to the people on red drapes hanging from buildings. She’s aware of Elizabeth and her rather curious array of powers, hoping to harness it and increase the already robust Vox Populi. It is bound to impress and the all the interesting gameplay makes for something unique and truly breathtaking. Speaking of which…

Gameplay

Sure, it’s a first person shooter, but it is so much more than that.

Instead of everyone, besides the people constantly talking into your ear, being dead, you now have a companion, Elizabeth, as mentioned above. Character interactions in the original BioShock were fairly limited with the only people not trying to kill you either talking in your ear or talking at you from behind a piece of glass.

In BioShock Infinite, character interaction gets handled much more head on and feels overall much more personal. Not only do you have a companion interacting with the world around you, but she’ll be able to help you in combat while looking after herself. She’ll be able to pick locks for you if you have the needed materials to do so. She read a seeming amount of books while being forced to stay in her tower. Luckily lock-picking techniques were among those books. She will throw ammunition and much needed supplies your way if you signal her to do so. She’ll aid in combat with her own set of skills. She is not a copy and pasted model of abilities the player already possesses.

Speaking of unique abilities…

Tears

Elizabeth can use her abilities to open tears to alternate dimensions located throughout Columbia. These tears may provide extra supplies, reinforcements, cover, turrets and traps from another reality of Columbia. You won’t be able to activate all of them, forcing you to think on your feet, all while adding another extra layer to combat. Cargo and supplies move around the city on Sky-Lines. She can also call in supplies on the Sky-Lines.

Sky-Lines

Sky-Lines started out as a transport system for supplies and all types of cargo. Over the course of time, it was modified for personal use and provided an alternate mode of transportation. The best way to describe the Sky-Lines is like an old roller-coaster. Columbia is riddled with Sky-Lines, adding another completely unknown layer to gameplay, once Booker acquires his very own Sky-Hook.

Combine the Sky-Lines and Tears to phase parts of the rails in and out of existence, culminating in the very long fall and eventual death to those unlucky to end up on Booker’s naughty list. Choose to phase cargo into existence and you’ll clear the tracks in a more direct and merciless fashion.

Vigors and Nostrums

These may be seen as the new (or old?) Plasmids and Gene Tonics. Resulting in kick-ass powers and abilities to enhance your play-style. A number of differences can be read about when comparing Vigors against BioShock’s Plasmids. Booker can only carry a certain amount of Vigors with him. More of these can be found around Columbia. Vigors have a limited amount of charges and you have a limit as to how many Vigors you can carry. Chosen Vigors are permanent throughout the course of the game and cannot be switched like in the orginal BioShock.

Gear

You’ll pick up gear items on your journey throughout the game that will drastically change the way you play. For example: a gear item dubbed Betrayer will cause an insane amount of havoc on the battlefield. With Betrayer equipped, enemies that have been killed by Booker’s hand will explode into a destructive ball of fire. Bull Rush will have you sprinting towards the enemy, knocking him with a super-charged melee attack.

Enemies

Another gigantic difference is the number of enemies you’ll encounter at any given time. You will now face groups of enemies, all set out to have their own slice of Booker DeWitt-pie. Some are just after Elizabeth and unfortunately, you are in their way.

Other than the normal enemies, Infinite invites another four mean mothers to the party. All of these Heavy Hitter enemies will add more danger to the already mental city. Each link takes you to a video focusing on that specific enemy if you’re interested.

The Motorised Patriot is made entirely out of machinery. With a porcelain face modeled after George Washington while toting a Pepper Mill minigun. This guy won’t stop until you’ve put him down for good.

The Boys of Silence are like a creepy bunch of walking cameras/alarms. Dressed up in a mask granting superior hearing is bound to have us tip-toeing around them. A faceless mask and creepy scream guarantees a few freaked out gamers along the way.

The Handyman’s past and origins haven’t been revealed. Judging from trailers, it would seem as though you offer up your body for a mechanical and more “superior” body. We can only speculate. Ken Levine mentioned that these guys have a tragic past.

The Siren. Ah, yes, the ghost-like entity reviving fallen enemies with her song. Deal with her first or deal with all the fallen enemies you’ve already dealt with? The choice is yours.

Wrapping Up

I’ll say it again; BioShock Infinte has some truly unique and enticing ideas behind it. We’re holding thumbs for it to rock our socks off and you should also be anxious to enter this one of a kind world. One can only speculate about what is truly going on in Columbia. We shall have to wait until the 26th of March to find out…

Before you depart, please tell us what you’re looking forward to in this game. There’s bound to be more than a few things. Personally, I look forward to the Vigors, the Sky-Lines and of course, the Songbird. I simply cannot wait to get lost inside this world.

The Phantom of the Opera.

Now that I have all the gaming / opera enthusiasts’ attention, while losing the ones that cannot stand anything with a violin, flute and / or trombone. Please allow me the few lines that will occupy your screen and explain within this point in time. Starting now.

The Phantom of the Opera will be something etched into my mind for a long time to come. I was very fortunate to watch it not once, but twice last year. I didn’t know that I was to watch it a second time, so I soaked in everything of the experience with more than enough enthusiasm. The insanely decorated décor, the actors, the people around me and even the seat numbers of both occasions. I even bought the soundtrack upon my first viewing. While opera and musicals may not be everyone’s idea of an indelible experience, it was without a doubt one of the most superb experiences I had within the entertainment industry.

BUT!

I’m not here to talk to you about any music and opera within gaming. The one aspect I had to bring to your attention is the insurmountable amount of remembrance connected to a certain event. I had a conversation yesterday with a friend which sparked something in my mind and forced me on a trip down memory lane. My memory down a more gaming-focused memory lane. As if I’m a fan of games, what a bunch of baloney… (Intended sarcasm that sounded better in my mind.)

We as gamers, or even just as regular non-gaming folk like to talk about the good old days. It’s easy to refer to earlier times and think about choices and what you could’ve done when you could make that decision again with your current knowledge. Many of us, myself included, wished the current school grade at that point in time to blow over without having it feel as outstretched as it indeed were.

Even though I wished my days to pass and forget about household happenings, there will still be memories I wouldn’t want to fade or certain gaming-related memories to achromatise. Of all the gaming related memories I accumulated over the years; I will never forget the day I went to buy Grand Theft Auto Vice City. So many details still etched into my mind. I visited my friend and the walked to my local gaming shop (who called me to divulge in the fact that someone traded the game in the previous day), the next day.

I barely had enough money. Luckily I had enough to scrape together and looting the purses of a few elderly women didn’t hurt either.

It was a walk I took with utmost pride. I was finally going to be able to play something I’ve been craving for a very long time. I have to admit that this was in 2005, with GTA Vice City being old news by then. I wasn’t even 100% sure that it would run smoothly on our PC. It did and I was oh, so, thankful for that.

I didn’t have the luxury to buy a game on a regular basis and whenever one came my way, I gladly accepted it with open arms and perhaps with a little too much enthusiasm. I’m very lucky and fortunate to be able to acquire a game on a regular basis these days.

Something that would cause most gamers to cringe nowadays, made me to feel like the luckiest person in the entire galaxy back then. It was such a big deal for me, so much so that I woke up the next morning struggling to accept the fact that I indeed owned the game and would be able to play it again soon. It is a feeling not easily described in words. If I were to describe it in words it would probably be along the lines of the following: complete happiness coupled with a tremendous amount of relief, while adding a dash of unreal joy. To tell the truth, that description doesn’t even do it justice according to the emotion I felt.

I still get as excited as a hare on a high-grade stimulant about buying or getting a new game. For some reason it felt so much more pure back then. It may only be the fact that games were more of a rarity for me in that point in time. Perhaps it is just nostalgia, I honestly don’t know for certain.

Like many memories, the day I received GTA Vice City, stands out without any doubt whatsoever. Sure, there’s other memories and more will appear and make their mark along the course of my existence.

Since you’ve gotten this far, please share with us some of your vivid gaming-related memories.

See you in two weeks.

There is nothing worse than waiting…

Sure, there are indeed a lot of worse things and happenings than the aforesaid waiting. A fatal blow to the head may count as one. Any disease on this planet is more than enough. I’d rather sit a waiting room than struggle day in and day out with a medical condition rendering each day tiresome and painful. Life is strange and we most certainly cannot pick and choose what comes our way. We each have our journey to take and what lies ahead or indeed around the next corner are without any fact known to us. I may assume that I’m receiving a package via courier today and I sincerely hope so, but for all I know, I may be on my way to the North Pole in search of the legendary nine and a half-leaf clover.

Speaking of courier; I think it is relatively safe to say that all of us have awaited some goods over the course of our lives. Perhaps not via courier, but maybe in the post. If not the post, hopefully a pizza. If not a pizza, then perhaps a skivvy guy wearing a long dusty overcoat with a few missing buttons and a stench of decomposing rats on the corner of a street; two blocks to the West. Excitement and anticipation play a great role when awaiting something you’ve been looking forward to. In the case of the smelly rat man; mistrust, danger and being thankful for not currently having a number of stab-wounds to the chest will prove to be a common train of thought.

Without deviating from the subject any further, the anticipation experienced while awaiting a game’s release and even the delivery of said game, can both be a strong motivation or you own mini version of “Waiting Room-Hell”. No magazines, no one interesting to talk to, no refreshments and not even any chairs to place your behind. Just a medium sized room filled with mute people; waiting. Continuously waiting. Twitching more and more as time goes by.

When that van indeed arrives at your door or workplace, or perhaps a parcel in the post, a feeling of complete joy enter one’s mind. You may also add a dash of relief.

The one facet in gaming that may prove to be enticing and both excruciation at once are without a doubt the early announcement, coupled with nice trailers and impressive gameplay videos. Like I mentioned earlier, it is great for motivation, but not so much for our amygdalas.

Throughout my life, gaming may certainly be one of the most influential aspect in regards to anticipation. I have tried more than once not to watch any trailers or more importantly, gameplay trailers in the past. Sorry, can’t help it.

For those that know me personally, I have shared my anticipation towards BioShock Infinite. I have been looking forward to it since its announcement in 2010 and with every new interview and gameplay video released; it gradually increases.

I already have a chair and book ready for the game’s release day. Sitting in the driveway and obsessively looking towards the gate at every passing vehicle, just to ensure I don’t miss the delivery van. I know they’ll call me, but hey, it is not called an obsession for nothing.

Do share with us your experiences with either waiting for a game or indeed anticipating anything gaming related.

Where do words come from?

Where do ideas come from?

Did it sit there all this time, waiting for a specific moment to enter the mind?

All of these are questions without a true answer. Some might say that it develops inside the mind and take shape by events surrounding the thinker and situations they go through.

Everything on this Earth will go through a journey and where that journey takes it, no one truly knows beforehand.

If you were to take food and follow it from the very beginning to the absolute end you’ll have quite a journey to witness. Perhaps not every step will want to be seen, but, hey, it’s part of life.

Games tend to have a rather charismatic and exceptional cycle through which they go. In most cases they will develop and exist inside a person’s mind and if it reaches a certain pique, it will explode into something truly magnificent or perhaps be laughed out by people not grasping said idea.

If one were to look at a kitchen, you’ll notice that so… Stop looking at your kitchen or even just the direction of your kitchen, focus here, on the words.

Focus.

Take the idea of a kitchen and the functions of a kitchen to mind. Add some gaming, and we’ll see where all the ingredients come from and where they’re off to.

Infiltration

Coming home from the shops or your local grocer, you’ll put down all the plastic covered goods or encased inside a box, onto the counter. All of these ingredients and goods will await their place where it will wait upon retrieval.

Take a parsnip for example. If you w… Put down the parsnip!

If you were to take the preceding parsnip and put it in its rightful place of waiting and thereupon retrieve it when you are preparing a dish for a couple of house guests or maybe a small dinner for yourself, you may also look at it as an idea. It enters your mind and gets categorised accordingly. If you’re not one to remember very well, it may be seen as a rodent infestation inside your cupboard. I tend to have an infestation myself every now and then. (That sounded like an ideal thing NOT to say on a first date.)

Preparation

The idea has been brewing in its own presence and when it is ripe, you will retrieve it and make good use of it. Unless it is an idea about killing the viral infections of an individual with a tactical carpet bombing. It may work, for all intents and purposes, but the host will not be there to enjoy the lack thereof.

If the time is right, you will reclaim the parsnip from its place of meditation and make good use out of it.

If you’re a game developer, the equivalent of the parsnip may be seen at this stage, as a pitch about your idea and how it will obliterate the competition. The other developers and their ideas may be seen as mere baked beans and a few undernourished peas.

Hopefully you’ll receive funding, with planning and development shortly underway.

Execution

The gaming parsnip is being chopped up into a bunch of delicious bits, where it will be added to a pot of progress. It takes a moderate amount of time to cook and reach a certain point until the developer / cook is satisfied. (Cough, BioShock Infinite, Cough.)

The boiling pot emits a satisfying smell and hopes to please everyone eagerly awaiting the meal. No one is certain of the end result or how it will taste. The gaming-chefs and customers’ hopes are getting high.

Finishing Touches

A few extra spices may be added to provide a gratifying flavour. Special plates are taken out for the final product. However the state of this parsnip-inspired meal, it is about to be dished into the extra-special china.

This is the ideal time to add a few touches to make it all the more rewarding. Perhaps a delay to fix a few bugs and add an extra layer of polish to the game. (Cough.)

Perhaps a dash of parsley to the boiling pot and even to decorate the plate. Maybe a dash of freshly ground pepper? It will take a bit longer than intended, but it will hopefully be worth it.

Dishing Out

Everything that was needed has been added and the contents of the sweet-smelling pot are being dished into bowls or plates. It’s so close everyone’s mouths are simple salivating…

It that final stretch of handing the game over to the mysterious places where the discs are being pressed and placed into cases with the appropriate covers. (Pro-tip: Do not press the second disc with content from another game. See Black Ops II and the second PC disc with Mass effect 2 on it.) A salad may be added for extra sustenance. Avoid the situation in brackets provided above, by not serving your guests a bowl filled with poison oak.

While you’re busy making sure about the salad, use this time to double check your parsnip. Make sure it is not a poisonous parsnip – see Cicuta. Simple reason: Gamers will be pissed off if not dead.

Dinner Is Served

The hungry, if not, starving dinner guests are already enjoying their meal. Reactions will soon follow. Your meal may be an absolute delight or the next cause of a shoot-out blamed on violent video games. It’s not always fair, but, hey, very little in life tends to be fair.

The games are distributed and placed onto the shelves. Reviews will be out soon; if not out already. Think of it as an impatient customer worming their way over to the cooking pot before the actual serving.

Handing Over The Bill

The customer / gamer will be asked to compensate for the meal. Not all restaurants and gaming retailers accept sperm and blood donations – resulting in compensation in cold hard cash. Whether you’re satisfied or not, you must pay.

Conclusion

Everything in life must undergo a journey. An idea, a parsnip and literally everything.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll witness a cat being run over and in five to ten years, end up inventing a shoulder-mounted rocket-launcher targeting anyone even looking suspiciously at any random cat…

We all enjoy a break every now and then.

I must admit, it may appear rather impatient when I’m talking about a holiday or mini-vacation, seeing how it is only February.

I had the idea about someone sitting in a park, having a lovely picnic while one troublesome bee disturbs him or her every few minutes or so. Perhaps after a few futile attempts, the bee will abandon the smidgen of hope it had and return to the hive empty handed.

This person can be anyone. It can be a relative. Perhaps a friend? Maybe just an acquaintance.

Let’s imagine this person literally being the gaming industry.

Peacefully taking a breather and enjoying some fresh air.

What were to happen if this was indeed the gaming industry? How will the world differ when the gaming industry decides to take a little recreational time for itself?

Keep in mind the following; gamers are impatient. Who will be bothered more? The industry itself, by a bunch of whiny cretins, or perhaps the aforementioned cretins by the lack of the aforesaid industry?

It may prove to be a knotty problem.

Let’s say that this is a definite reality and it just so happens that the industry is sick and tired of all the moaning. It packs its bags and with a mighty swing of its long forearm, grabbing the whole lot of gaming protagonists and antagonists, alongside the side-characters. With a few mighty and irritated stomps, it’s out of the door and before long, it is out of sight.

A trip to the beach? Maybe the previously mentioned picnic in the park without the screaming children falling from their swings?

Let’s look at the beach scenario. Stretched out across the sand, enjoying the fresh air and soaking in the sun. Relaxation without a worry in the world.

Where will the characters be? Serious Sam sitting in a garden-chair in Ancient Egypt while taking a smoke break. At least it is something different than shooting all kinds of crazy enemies in the face. (While in Egypt.)

Marcus Fenix can take off his armour and his angry.

Sonic, Mario and Rayman enjoying a wilderness expedition. (It lasts for a while, until they start jumping on every living creature and static object, spewing forth coins and mushrooms. Using the coins on entertainment for the evening and smoking the mushrooms.)

Will we be sitting in front of monitors and TVs staring at an empty level? An environment without any life whatsoever?

When it returns…

Will we be more grateful and appreciate the idea of gaming again?

Whenever I have to come up with an idea for an opinion piece, I try to draw inspiration from something from the past week or two. Sometimes it is something that I overheard, maybe an object I saw in a shopping mall, perhaps something I’ve thought about when going for a walk or even something I’ve watched.

I’ve used films more than once in the past. Frankenweenie was one.

This week it’s Wreck-It Ralph. It’s much more obvious than the aforementioned example. Since it’s heavily influenced by games, more specifically arcade games, I thought I couldn’t have a more obvious something to talk about.

At first, I was a little sceptic; this was due to the fact that there were a bunch of familiar faces in the trailer. Society and experience have taught me to be cautious if this happens, since it’s usually a cash-in or something of the sort. Boy was I wrong in thinking that.

If you haven’t seen the trailer, I recommend that you go and watch it. You’ll see a few familiar faces, like a Ghost from Pac-Man; even Pac-Man himself gets a few seconds of screen time. Bowser, Doctor Eggman, Q*bert and a bunch more can be seen. A Konami code is used. A sound effect from Metal Gear Solid can be heard and there are still a lot more references to be seen. *

All of these familiar faces are in the minority. The main characters that drive the plot are all original characters.

I think it’s safe to say that the movie will be a joy for any gamer to watch, especially if you’ve been gaming for quite some time now.

The movie takes place in a gaming arcade where a whole smorgasbord of games await everyone looking for their dose of gaming; old-school and new combined.

The game: “Fix-It Felix Jr.” is one of the oldest games and has been a favourite among many that visit the arcade. Our protagonist in the movie is actually the villain in this game. He wrecks the building while you, the player, fix it. You play as the previously mentioned Fix-It Felix Jr.

Every night when the arcade closes, all the gaming characters, both heroes and villains may go to Game Central Station. Basically, it’s the multi-adaptor in the arcade.

This is not a movie review, so I’ll stop there.

What I genuinely loved about this movie is the fact that it feels new AND familiar to me. I’m almost certain that many gamers will feel that way. I like to think of it as a tribute to gaming, more so to old-school arcade games filled with lots of quirky animations and retro sound effects. (The humour also scores a bunch of points in my book.)

At one stage in the movie, we are shown the inside of a different, more modern game where our hero tries to get hold of a certain object. The gamer approaches the game and inserts the coin. Everyone gets ready and awaits the player. It’s a gritty, more modern first person shooter. The in-game characters perceive the player as a monitor on wheels with two robotic arms while wielding a piece of sci-fi weaponry.

I loved that. I loved the idea of all the in-game characters getting ready, eagerly awaiting the gamer. I’m never looking at loading times the same way again.

Another thing I adored was that all the old school games have this joyous and more light-hearted vibe to them, while this new game has more gritty and dark scenery, it’s very serious and the main “NPC” in the game has got a very tragic back-story. The back-story is actually comedic. I do not wish to spoil it for anyone, but you’ll see what I mean when you have watched it yourself.

It made me want to go out and search for my more old-school and arcade-y games. Games that got me into gaming. I know most people say to leave those games in the past, but I have a need for a game like that again. FEZ may be an ideal candidate for that old-school feel. Above all, I really want to play the very first, original Prince of Persia. Super Meat Boy also makes for an ideal choice. I’ll have to undertake this quest, and who knows, perhaps I’ll report back here in two weeks if I’ve played anything of the old-school nature.

Something else this movie made me realise, is that gaming doesn’t feel as “pure” as it did back then. It was about the game and beating it. After you’ve beaten it and you enjoyed the game, you’ll play it again without much hesitation.

There was very little bitching and moaning, if any. Even if we have so much more to work with nowadays.

That brings me to my question for all you good folk. Why do so many gamers complain about games when we have so much more these days? Or is that the case, are we spoilt for choice?

* Even Satan.

You want to know what I’m wearing right now?

Depending on your answer, you may want to choose your plan of action and evacuation route accordingly.

If your answer turns out to be: “No”, then I strongly advise you to reconsider and I will wait here until your answer changes to: “Yes”.

Done?

Congratulations!

Get ready…

I’m currently wearing an Assassin’s Creed III T-shirt. (At time of writing, that is. If you are reading this and you’re somewhere in some sort of post-apocalyptic ruin, desperately searching Internet servers manually for answers to this catastrophe, then well done! You’ve come across a gaming website that shines with all types of answers. We may even have our own “recipe sharing” section and you should totally give that a little look-see, I’m sure it will rock.)

I’m not some T-shirt or gaming apparel savant. I’m merely here to distract you from what you are indeed actually doing in front of the computer. (Or indeed the device you’re using to manually search these servers in your warm and unsafe ruin.)

All kidding aside. My most valuable pieces of clothing are indeed three T-shirts. Not just any three shirts, but gaming themed shirts. Two Batman shirts and now, the new addition, an Assassin’s Creed III shirt. It may not be such a big whoop for some as I’m making it out to be, but hey, it’s awesome.

Gaming themed apparel is not something I see being worn in shopping malls that regularly. Mostly, it’s music themed shirts like Metallica. Absolutely nothing against Metallica or music themed shirts in general, I just wish to see more gaming apparel.

It is either me not looking in the correct area or my ADD not permitting me to see these things. Maybe the gaming themed shirts and socks may not be in inquiry as much I’d have hoped… (Although, the ADD thing may not be dismissed as easily. I’ve not seen decorations in a certain house I’ve been visiting on a regular basis until the other day. I’ve been assured that it’s been there all the time. More examples can be given, but I’d rather stop there until I’m distracted some more… Cheese.)

On topic: I’ve witnessed Angry Birds notebooks, iPad and iPhone covers, plush toys, speakers and USB flash drives. T-shirts may not be far off at all.

Judging from my conversations with various gamers, I’ve noticed that some wear gaming apparel with the appropriate gusto, while some prefer to stay under the radar.

The word: “gamer” may merely be a name or status and it shouldn’t avoid us from having fun or be ashamed of it.

If you prefer to stay under the radar, no problem, but for those of you wearing your gaming colours proud, what kind of gaming-wear do you prefer?

I assume it is safe to say that we all adore the whole “pretend” to be had in gaming. Why else would we love it so dearly?

Take a look at books, movies and in this case, games. It consists purely out of imagination and it’s filled to the circumference with worlds subsisting of make-believe.

Even the “realistic” games have some sort of fictional characteristic. You may die from a bullet-wound to the shoulder if the wound is not treated ideally and above all that, you’ll need time for it to heal. It won’t be fun playing a game where you have to wait weeks for one wound to heal. It wouldn’t be a game. It would be Hell on Earth in pixel-form.

Personally, I’m a big fan when it comes to the topic of invented worlds and scenarios where you have to make decisions and see the consequences unfold; scenarios where I wouldn’t even be in if I were paid. Scenarios in a game or a world where a reset-button exists and indeed, functions.

The idea of a parallel universe or an alternate reality has been explored multiple times and games have been an ideal way to do so. Take Assassin’s Creed for example. It would’ve been nice if it solely focused on the ancestors, but add the Apple of Eden idea and another guy running around in the future and it’s a whole other ball-game.

World War II is nowhere near fun or indeed anything but grim. Add an Irishman with a tendency for blowing up Nazi-structures, an interesting free-roaming mechanic and lots of explosions alongside a story about revenge. Don’t forget about the artistic aspect for the differentiation between suppressed and freed areas. You’ve got a fun game. That’s the thing; it’s a game. Nothing real-life or indeed real people being killed. No real lives are being taken.

I’d like to take this whole perception and apply it not to a game, but to the whole gaming industry. It will never happen, so there’s no reason it should stop us if we’re enjoying our narratives with a dash of fiction. In my case: a few truckloads of fiction.

Let’s see what we have, shall we?

Importance

I’ve mentioned not long ago that gaming tends to have an inferiority complex about itself. Unfortunately, that is indeed the case.

If we were to take that idea and turn the tables a little bit, we have not only an interesting turn of events but also a complete change of the current perspective.

Gaming is more important than your studies and your sports. If you are not playing games on a daily basis and you’re sneakily running off to play rugby or soccer, you’ll be in serious trouble.

“Son… You’ve not played anything this week and for that I am afraid we will have to take you to the public guillotine or the public incineration room… We’ll offer you this last chance to decide something for yourself.”

Come to think about it, that sounds more like a dictatorship led by the gaming industry. Take away the death penalties and you’ve got some sweet rules to live by.

Moaning

Most of us, indeed not everyone, know the feel of being nagged about sitting in front of the PC or TV playing games yet again. It’s not the most comfortable of feels. It’s a pain in the buttock.

Now, imagine the world where you’re encouraged to play games. It is preferred.

Health Benefits

Another aspect about gaming that people like to throw in your face, is the fact that it is unhealthy. Unhealthy if you play it in prolonged sessions. Let us put a twist on that idea as well.

Gaming makes you all the more healthy. The more you play, the better shape you’re currently in. Play a lot of Assassin’s Creed and you gain strength. Play a lot of Devil May Cry and gain a six-pack. A genuine six-pack. Not a six-pack of beer. (Although that would also be an added bonus.) Play a lot of Spec Ops The Line and you’re genuinely a horrible person… Wait, what!?

Scratch that last one.

Play a lot of shooters and gain real-life shooting skills. Play puzzle or puzzles-type games and have an IQ that will put Albert Einstein to shame.

Income

Gaming IS your income. The more you play, the more you get paid.

Happiness

Gaming has been getting crap from all directions and from a lot of people. People being dissatisfied by a sequel or not liking a game at all. People who think they know everything, when they should just stay silent.

Imagine a world where EVERYONE is happy with their hobby. (Or indeed, occupation, as mentioned above.)

It’s not a case about fanboys complaining about everything they dislike with the new property in the series.

Speaking of which…

Sequels

Sequels have caused a lot of migraines. Not just for developers and publishers, but to most gamers disagreeing with the cry of the complete nutter not being happy with the latest sequel or latest take on a familiar franchise. (-cough- Devil May Cry. -cough-)

Simple solution: no sequels whatsoever.

Every game will have a lot more thought put into it and new ideas will surface more often.

Personally, I’m not against sequels, but other people’s moaning made me wish some sequels into a bottomless pit.

We would certainly miss out on some great ones, so it’s a tough one…

Social Interaction

No one in a multiplayer match calling the other players a c%#*. Done.

Another social interaction I, personally, would love is a face to face chat with a developer or even the whole development team. Bundle that with a cup of coffee and choc-chip muffin and you’ve got some pleasant and interesting discussions ahead of you.

To conclude

All of these ideas are impractical. I wouldn’t mind having some of them coming to fruition. That, my fellow gamers, that’s the magic of imagining or allowing yourself to get lost in a world of make believe.

You’re a gamer, enjoy it.

This week’s mini rage against humanity, brought to you by me.

It’s simple, really.

Just sit there in that corner right over there and take this joint, this suspicious-looking pill and this inhalant. Use them, and for the love of all that is holy, please chill!

This specific topic entered my thoughts just a little while ago and I thought: “Hey! I can also use this train of thought in gaming.”

You see, this little game called DmC (Devil May Cry) came out last week, Tuesday. Never mind Tuesday; it’s been getting all kinds of excrement thrown at it in its mere presence from the beginning, and for what? It’s been called “fake”, “stupid” and “not deserving of the name”.

Seriously, people? You expect that kind of mentality to slide?

This game oozes with fun. It is visually impressive and there’s very little to dislike. This is not a review, so I’ll stop here.

If you look at this and you don’t feel your hope in humanity declining by the second, I fear almost all hope for you may be lost… (Not all, just the majority.)

If you take a gander at the critic score, all seems fair and I, for one, am able to breathe, but if your eyes inconspicuously wander to the right and witness that score; you’ll feel something dripping from your left ear. (Perhaps not yours, but mine certainly did.)

I feel more and more that gamers have this “I’m correct and that’s all that matters” state of mind. It’s not healthy at all. Not healthy for you or the people around you. They may be driven to strangle you with something found only in an abattoir or sewer plant.

In conclusion: Play the game you’re being unreasonable about. Have fun, and if it’s really not for you then smoke something relaxing, keep your trap shut and play something you do enjoy. Don’t announce your dislike to the whole world; some of them will start twitching and develop thoughts about ending your intake of oxygen with a weighty and blunt object.

If you don’t like it, you don’t like it.

(P.S. I would like to end this on a more positive note. Imagine the following scenario: Floating on a cloud made of colourful and sweet-smelling unicorn farts…)

It’s a new year filled with lots and lots of gaming promise.

Imagine, if you will, the number “13″ silently knocking the number “12″ unconscious. Dragging it behind a lonely old shed. Paint peeling from the woodwork. The camera pans away from the shed with nothing but the shed and a few lonely trees in view. A soft thud can be heard from the distance and just like that; the year 2012 is no more. The murderous 2013 prevails.

I felt the need to have a more foreboding opening to my first column of 2013. The reason for this is due to everyone’s happy and cheerful New Year’s resolutions; which in all fairness gets pushed aside very easily. I’m not against it, just being realistic.

Many of us decide to eat healthier, exercise more and play games in a more balanced fashion. Easier said than done.

Another reason for the gritty and murderous 2013 opening is that my last column wasn’t my last one. It was, according to the Mayans, but here we are.

I’m looking forward to a bunch of aspects this year; gaming and non-gaming related. I do however get beaten with a rusty bicycle-chain if I dwell too long on the non-gaming related subjects.

Where to begin?

We have a bunch of great and promising titles releasing this year. There’s a LOT of titles releasing the first two quarters. Starting today with Devil May Cry.

Dead Space 3, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, Crysis 3, Gears of War: Judgment, God of War: Ascension, The Last of Us and a game that I’ve mentioned more than a few times and I really do not need to mention it, but I want to and the voices will not leave me be if I don’t. BioShock: Infinite. (Drool.) All these titles have my attention, but the one connected to the voices will have the majority of attention.

I’m also kind of excited about Rayman: Legends; I do not own a Wii U, so it is rather unorthodox being excited by it, but I am. Stop judging me.

We’ve got hack and slash, kick-ass power armour, misshapen creatures, cover-based shooting, lots of blood, gangs and zombies alongside a floating city. What’s not to love? We’re guaranteed to have a blast.

Besides the games I want gush about, there is the unavoidable rumours of announcements regarding “next-generation consoles”. I’m not against prettier visuals and games with larger scale and whatnot. The aspects putting me off of all this is, a): the mountains of cash needed to stay up to date,  and b): the evisceration of buying second-hand games. What the actual copulation is up with that?

Seriously people!? Buying a game on release day or not long after release is guaranteed to put a dent in your finances. Whenever I’m curious about a game that isn’t on the top of my “must-play” list; I’ll usually look for a second hand copy, because waiting for the retail price to drop is pure and triple distilled torture. (Also, I’m curious about most games. That just adds to the pain.)

The other rumour circulating is that consoles will need a permanent internet connection. That goes alongside the second hand games are for nOobz debate and if that is indeed the case, I’m fornicated. That won’t be a problem for the uncapped land line folks out there. Unfortunately, I’m not among these folk.

Perhaps I’ll sit in a dark corner reading tabloids from the 90′s.

What I’m currently doing is wrong. (That sounded a little too much like the gargoyles going around schools talking about drugs and heavy petting.) I’m totally jumping the gun here. I’m planning dark corner reading and wrist examinations with a flower-shaped razor based solely on rumours. For all we know, the next generation of consoles may run on cooking oil and depending on your accomplishments, you may receive a daffodil made from your game discs and the aforementioned cooking oil.

Gaming and I had a little conversation the other day…

Psychological result / report to follow:

“Patient seems to have a persistent inferiority complex. More so than other forms of entertainment and media. Hope may not be lost due to occasional explosion consisting of pure potential, maturity and excessive amounts of excellence.

Subject shall remain under close watch and observed by unstable staff with a tendency to shout random curses.

More to follow.”

When gaming is compared to other forms of media and entertainment, one cannot help but feel a need for more objective and mature examples in gaming. Not that there aren’t some great games out there with philosophical and mature themes. Personally, I would wish people not to look down at gaming, thinking their preferred choice of entertainment is much better than gaming as a whole.

One is bound to find countless titles dismissing my need for more objectivity in games. Mindless violence most certainly has its charm; see Serious Sam. Albeit great games, some people need their hunger to be compensated by more games providing food for thought.

Titles such as BioShock, Mass Effect, Catherine, Deus Ex and Spec-Ops: The Line have most certainly provided the thoughtful narrative I seek, but these games are few and far between the rest of the gaming flock.

Perhaps the rarity in “intellectual” and “mature” games makes them all the more special. The more one thinks about it the more one’s bound to appreciate these titles less and less if they’re popping out all over the place. Think about it: you’re not going to get super excited for a new military shooter today.

We’ll return with more psychological reports and results on gaming in the future, but for now you can do your part and share your opinion about what you think about games with more “advanced” narratives and their place in this discombobulated world.

(Every form of feedback will increase the donation given to gaming’s current medication and therapy fees. P.S. Not really, but at least you’ll look more charitable.)

LEGO The Lord of the Rings released in December and still managed to tickle my fancy, even though it released in a year filled with giants.

For those of you not familiar with the LEGO games; let’s do some backtracking. In 2005, TT Games released LEGO Star Wars and they’ve been going at it ever since. Their formula consists of taking large entertainment brands and “re-doing” them in LEGO format. It has a certain charm to it, coupled with quirky humour. At first, the characters didn’t speak. They communicated with grunts and different variations of “Hmm”. Spoken dialogue only exists in the latest games, LEGO Batman 2 and LEGO The Lord of the Rings.

Other LEGO games include Batman, Indiana Jones Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean.

From the works of J.R.R. Tolkien came the major motion picture trilogy, The Lord of the Rings; The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers and The Return of the King. A few games have held the Lord of the Rings name, but none have been done quite like this LEGO version. All the characters are here, dialogue from the movies has been included, and the fantastic and wondrous soundtrack from the films feature alongside the quirky humour from the LEGO games. In LEGO The Lord of the Rings, you’ll play through the events of the complete trilogy, not just one of the movies.

Middle Earth.

The Dark Lord Sauron forges an all powerful ring that corrupts those who wear the other Rings of Power. The Rings of Power are worn among the leaders of Elves, Men and Dwarves. After a bloody battle, which seems anything but prosperous, all hope dwindles…

In a hopeless encounter between Sauron and a human named Isildur; Isildur trims down the Dark Lord’s fingers with a single swipe of his broken sword, resulting in Sauron losing his physical form.

Victorious; Isildur claims the Ring. While riding on horseback; he and his men becomes ambushed by a pack of Orcs. Isildur doesn’t survive the encounter. The Ring is lost at the Anduin river; waiting to be found…

The Ring goes through the hands of a creature termed: Gollum. After corrupting the mind of Gollum and prolonging his life; the Ring ended up in the hands of the most unlikely of creatures inhabiting Middle Earth. A hobbit. Bilbo Baggins.

Bilbo receives a visit from Gandalf the Grey on his birthday and not before long; Gandalf learns about the all powerful Ring. Gandalf instructs Frodo Baggins; Bilbo’s nephew, to take the Ring and leave the Shire.

An epic journey lies ahead of Frodo and his one friend: Sam. A Fellowship is formed and a dark quest begins. Mount Doom being the end of their journey…

If you’re familiar with the narrative and events of this story, no more need be said, but for those of you new to the Lord of the Rings tale, I’ll leave the rest for you to discover.

All the characters, both heroic and evil, have been made into LEGO form. This fact alone lends the game a certain amount of charm. The animation for these characters also boast a unique charismatic feel. The open-world environment based on Tolkien’s original map adds something great to the LEGO formula. In comparison to previous LEGO games; this one definitely ups the ante in terms of scale. Massive battles are being fought in the background or around you while you’re fighting Sauron or defending Helm’s Deep.

The environments are beautiful and detailed. Not as detailed as most games considered to be graphical powerhouses, for example: Uncharted or Assassin’s Creed.

It portrays the world of Middle Earth very well and while some areas may feel a bit empty; the rest of the areas make up for it in detail and change in scenery. The aforementioned scenery contains a lot of hidden items and secrets awaiting discovery.

The world does not consist solely of bits of LEGO; although there’s a fair amount of decorations supplementing the world bursting to the seams with LEGO studs. Studs make up your score and also works as a type of currency for buying additional characters once they’ve been discovered. Destroying everything within this world even remotely LEGO shaped and collecting all the studs that fly from these objects have a Zen-like feel to it. In my case it was more like a combination of Zen and peace, mixed with an OCD-like tendency to collect all the studs. It is fun collecting all these studs, but I cannot help but feel frustrated when so many studs gets scattered when hitting, punching or slicing the objects they spew from. It’s not the scattering aspect that frustrates me; it’s the fact that I lose some of them when I’m hitting an object near a cliff side. I’d also prefer it if they stay there on the ground only a few seconds longer for you to pick them up. I’ve missed the opportunity more than once to collect studs when I’m engaged in a battle or conflict situation.

No complaints in the audio department. The soundtrack from the films adds an extra layer of quality to the game. I’ve always enjoyed the films’ soundtrack and it made me genuinely happy to hear the soundtrack while punching some Uruk-Hai. The voices for the dialogue and cut-scenes have been taken directly from the films, resulting in authenticity and giving the game that Lord of the Rings “feel”.

I must admit that having this serious and authentic dialogue paired together with some of the quirky humour in the cut-scenes make for some rather odd results. A few rather emotional moments throughout the story have been made quirky with the added humour. This is done to adjust the story to a younger audience, I’m sure. Without a doubt; it adds something unique to the story, I cannot help but have mixed opinions when a character gets killed only after a bunch of tries by an Orc firing random objects from his bow. He started with an arrow and ended up dealing the final shot with a broom. Yes, a broom.

The developers have incorporated the traditional LEGO gameplay and puzzle solving with the epic tale quite well. I must admit that I was skeptic about how the game is going to play like a LEGO game with Lord of the Rings as a story. It’s the same elements from previous LEGO games such as the silver items only being destroyed by certain characters or items, platforms reachable only by one or two characters, orange handles only to be opened by strong characters and certain items only obtainable through “Free Play”. Free Play for the main story levels needs to be unlocked by playing through the level normally.

I was hoping to see some new gameplay elements, considering it’s such a huge and massive quest being undertaken. It’s not a deal breaker, just more of the same gameplay and type of puzzle solving.

Speaking of puzzles; when I say puzzles, I’m not necessarily talking about puzzles that induce headaches and /or suicidal tendencies. Puzzles mostly consist of a specific items being needed to proceed or actions needed to be performed in a certain order. It’s not at all challenging, but it is fun nevertheless. Certain characters may be needed to obtain items. For example: Frodo will use the Light of Eärendil to illuminate dark areas and find any treasures or hidden items within. Other characters will not be able to enter these areas.

Combat is unchanged from previous LEGO games. You may mash the “X” button to eviscerate your enemies, no matter what you’re wielding. Be it your fists, swords, bananas, shovels or buckets; you’ll most probably win with bits of LEGO and body parts flying. No gore, though. It may be over-simplified for some gamers, but it gets the job done.

The main story levels combine these LEGO elements and the unique characteristics of each character in a simple, yet functioning way. Some of the missions will have you take part in a major battle we’ve seen in the movies; the first level where you battle Sauron as Isildur is one of my favourite scripted battles. Other levels will have us playing “behind the scenes”: for example: Sam, Merry and Pippin gathering firewood and food to prepare for Frodo while he’s recovering and taking a nap. It adds an extra layer, while not overshadowing the main story.

When you’re finished with the main story, the entirety of Middle Earth is at your disposal. You may explore all the areas and hunt for collectibles. There’s no shortage of these. Not at all. Some of the collectibles can only be found in the story missions when going back and playing with previously locked characters.

Collectibles vary in use. Studs can be found everywhere and there’s no limit to them. Mithril Bricks are hidden throughout Middle Earth and while you’ll find most of them at the end of a platform based trail, some of them need you to perform certain actions. One specific Mithril Brick could only be acquired by destroying a certain amount of statues in that area within a given time limit. For that you needed a character that does a decent amount of damage over a medium range. In this case I used an Uruk-Hai character that threw bombs. I needed to have enough studs and his location to do so. The collectibles are interwoven with each other and that makes the back-tracking rewarding.

The map is also littered by fetch quests. These quests and their motivation feels a little bit forced. Finding a pair of special tap-dancing shoes for an Orc? Yes, you can expect quests in that line of motivation. When completing these quests you’ll unlock “Red Bricks”. These may be looked upon as “cheats” or modifications to your game. You’ll need enough studs to buy these alterations, but some of them can be very useful indeed. Like the one brick increases the worth of studs picked up by x10, or grants you the ability to have regenerating health. It’s helpful, but unlocking these require a lot of patience.

The platforming is pretty straight-forward. Nothing extraordinary here. It’s simple jumping and climbing. Although one aspect that really made me dislike some platforming segments is the fixed camera and if you’re not always jumping at the exact degree; you usually fall a fair distance and get to do that all over again. When going after collectibles, it really became a schlep after a while.

When choosing characters while exploring, avoid the heart and headaches, by choosing the characters you desire the long way. The reason for this is that when you switch to another character, you’ll sometimes be taken to the other character at the bottom of the chasm you’re trying to scale, resulting in your other character to leap back at you from the mountainous platforming staircase you so desperately scaled a few seconds ago. Here’s how to avoid the chest-pains: When activating your character selection wheel; don’t choose from the characters on the wheel. Select to the icon at the bottom of the wheel to open the whole tray of characters to choose from. If you choose from these characters you’re sure to avoid many frustrations. It takes a while longer and adds unnecessary and time-consuming cons to the list.

The co-op in LEGO The Lord of the Rings is pretty much unchanged from other LEGO games. It uses the same dynamic split screen used in the previous few games. Each player can move freely around the level without constraining the other player. The split-sceen line is not fixed and moves around depending on the players’ movements. It’s not bad, but it can take some getting used to.

My only major complaint about the co-op experience is that there’s some segments within chapters where the players are forced to play different story sections. For example: Gandalf battles a boss-character, while the other player continues with the story in the second part of the screen. It’s a silly design choice for me, personally. I just told my co-op partner to wait and let me finish the battle, whereupon we continued together after the battle. I sincerely dislike that, due to the fact that it’s both different plot points.

Imagine, if you will; the gaming industry sitting at a desk.

Nervously wondering what to type next. Expectations from all over the world weighing on its shoulders like a lofty-sized serpent; eagerly awaiting the ideal opportunity to impale its whetted fangs into the industry’s neck.

Rummaging through the mess between the monitor and the keyboard in hope for finding a solution. Old newspaper articles, socks, post-it notes and mosquito repellent fail to provide answers. Just a yellow Angry Birds plush toy judging it from the right-hand side; sitting on top of a filing rack between an even bigger mess. Just a frown. Not one brief blink coming from this judging entity.

Cracking its knuckles out of pure habit. A habit that began out of curiosity and now serves as a way of dealing with its nerves.

I’ll be completely honest by saying that it must be crappy, crap-crap, crap o’ clock if you’re the gaming industry. Think about it. You’re constantly expected to amaze ALL of those around you. Some people want to use you; thinking solely about money and ways to make money without a smidge of creativity co-existing alongside those thoughts. The few of those that want to do something creative are not easily allowed to do so.

When something goes the way it’s supposed to and something truly great or creative emerges from that; I’m pretty sure that it must be awesome being the gaming industry. Other than that I’m pretty sure I want to stay out of those shoes.

Another year is drawing to a close for the industry and I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that its been a rather eventful year for gaming.

Instead of focusing on just one topic for this column; I’d like to touch at 3 topics.

What’s first on the agenda?

Let’s see… Ah, yes!

If there is one thing this year has taught me; it’s this.

In all fairness, I already knew this. 2012 just reminded me about it.

Music can have such an immeasurable impact while playing a game. I’ve talked about this before, sure, but this last month proved to be a reminder that cannot be ignored.

There’s a bar fight in Hitman: Absolution with a song that plays in the background after you sabotaged the jukebox and ignited everyone’s temper fuses. Causing a lot of blokes to punch you if you dare and come too close to them or even just look at them funny. Without any luck about finding a name or artist for this song by means of the all-powerful Google or even using music recognition software; I’m still inclined to tell you that it’s never been this fun punching a fellow, even if it is accomplished by a “quick time event”.

The other game that proved this triumph; Far Cry 3. I cannot even begin to describe the amount of pure bad-ass-ness you feel when burning down a few relatively small fields of marijuana with a flamethrower while Skrillex and Damian Marley endear your eardrums. All of this while dodging gunfire and indeed setting fire to those who are trying to give you a lead-based enema. (It’s not even my type of music, but it worked so well.) Another mention, in regards to Far Cry 3, may go to something related to Ride of the Valkyries, but I’m not going to spoil it for you.

Next on the agenda is something I’ve done multiple times and out of spitefulness; I’ll do it again.

I’ll say this to almost every gamer out there: Guys and gals from far and wide. Please stop bitching and moaning about every game that doesn’t do everything you thought it would do. You’re playing games, not discussing politics with an earthworm dead-set on bombing the planet. It’s a hobby. A passion. You’re only ruining it for yourself and irritating the living guano out of me. (I’m saying this again, because some gamers seem to forget that they have probably the most awesome hobby out there.)

To the last topic on the list.

It’s the end of the year and we’ve no doubt had our fair share of noteworthy experiences. Which brings me to this: According to the Mayans; this will be my last column. I sincerely hope that isn’t indeed the case, because I’ve grown accustomed to jabbering at all you wonderful people.

Make sure to stock up on cans of food, chainsaws, rubber duckies, plastic bags and toothpaste. All depending on the eventual outcome.

We will survive.

Because..

You know…

BioShock Infinite.