The theory goes that everyone is crazy on some level. Everybody has some psychological issues but only the really messed up ones aren’t considered sound of mind. Then you get the ridiculously disturbed people who kill in the name of Pikachu or the Great Flying Spaghetti. Well, video game characters are people too, or at least that’s what the voices in my head convinced me of after a lengthy and laborious debate that left me with a really bad headache. So surely they’re no different from the rest of us when it comes to being a bit batty.

Because it takes one to know one, we at eGamer have put together a list of video game characters that do such a good job of hiding their illnesses, you’d think they were pathological or something. We’re not talking about characters that are obviously disturbed here, no we’re talking about the ones that appear pretty normal on the outside. So let’s take a look at some of those killers next-door, the psychopaths in disguise, the Azhar’s if you will.

Let’s roll, not literally though because we’re not rocks unless you believe you are in which case that’s just fine.

Nathan Drake (Uncharted)

Uncharted will probably go down as one the best series’ the PS3 ever had, such great gameplay, phenomenally well-crafted narrative experiences which defined the term ‘cinematic gameplay experience’ and kick-ass visuals to boot. The games were polished to such a high shine that you could see your reflection but pick away at that glossy veneer and protagonist Nathan Drake is quite cracked up.

The Diagnosis: Patient constantly finds himself in life-threatening situations while on globe-trekking escapades to find some elusive and hidden treasure. This is evident of the sort of reckless abandon associated with suicidal individuals, however Mr Drake is somewhat different. He appears to have the need to go out as a hero thus his obsession with embarking on impossible missions (not to be confused with Tom Cruise and his missions which are impossible). The patient also displays abandonment issues which explains his need to take up the companionship of an older gentleman by the name of Victor Sullivan, either that or he’s holding in a great amount of repressed homosexuality.

It gets a bit worse though when one considers the fact that Mr Drake finds himself being attacked by a multicultural group of people from many races, religions and ethnicities (oh wait, that’s Ubisoft’s schtick but no matter) all of whom are never American somehow. This clearly points to a perversely bigoted xenophobia exhibited by the patient. He appears to feel the need to defend the Fatherland against any and all who do not fit his image of what it is to be American i.e. Caucasian.

The Prince (Prince of Persia)

Prince of Persia is arguably the greatest trilogy of games to ever exist and part of this is that each game focused on a different facet whether it be combat or storytelling or platforming. That said, this diversity also brought about a few varied iterations of the nameless Prince for whom the games are named (I’m not going to point out what I did there but I will draw your attention to it). Diagnosing him isn’t any easier though.

The Diagnosis: The patient seems to be constantly stuck in the past, unable to move on with his life. This often presents itself in middle-aged men, often retired sportsmen, who simply cannot accept the fact that they are aging and that their glory days are behind them. ‘The Prince’ is always obsessing over his events of the past and mulling over the mistakes he’s made. He propagates fantastically grand delusions in which he is the hero fighting off hoards of creatures in order to fuel his need for acceptance from his father. Part of his delusion is a fixation with water, which he believes to be a powerful elixir capable of healing any injury. We also believe that he suffers from dissociative multiple personality disorder whereby he has several, broadly similar personas but each has a very different personality. We have only observed three of them thus far and while the first appears normal, the second is best described as a darker, more violent version of the first albeit far more angry thus his favouring of heavy rock music. The third is even stranger as it displays multiple personalities within one of the personalities of someone suffering from a multiple personality disorder.

After much coaxing and piecing together bits of information that were corroborated by all of ‘the Prince’s’ personas, we were able to determine his true identity and we believe that Mr Gyllenhaal, that’s his real name, suffered a mental trauma some years ago which resulted in him receding into personas which gave him not only a sense of security but also a sense of purpose. We tracked down Mr Gyllenhaal’s medical records and found that as a teenager he underwent psychiatric treatment after suffering from delusional episodes of paranoia in which he thought he was being coerced into doing vandalous acts by a large rabbit.

Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy)

Cloud Strife is not only one of the best loved Final Fantasy characters but also the name which one of our regular commentors goes by, don’t confuse them though because shit is about to get so real you’ll smell it. Cloud first appeared in the Final Fantasy VII and raised the bar for RPG heroes with his depth of character. At this point, anyone familiar with the character will be wanting to raise a very valid point against his inclusion on the list and that’s the fact that Cloud Strife is reputed for being one of the first ‘unreliable narrators’ due to his grandiose delusions and overall psychological issues.

Why include him on a list of closet crazies when everybody knows he’s loony? Well, because this list needed a bit more diversity of the Jap variety and despite his well-documented psychosis, there are a few issues which have remarkably been overlooked for the past 15 years.

The Diagnosis: Mr Strife is clearly suffering from a severe  inferiority complex thus his obsession with carrying a ludicrously oversized blade which he of course uses as a proxy for his inadequate penis. The patient also exhibits classic signs of what the field experts refer to as a ‘needy attention-seeker’. His overdone hair, and eye-catching name have been part of his persona in an attempt to not only be accepted by people but also to be loved. This stems from possibly being neglected as a child or ostracised by his peers as a boy. It’s difficult to tell really since he remembers so little about his past but perhaps this points to a drinking problem brought on by his inability to fit into society.

Gordon Freeman (Half-Life)

Gordon Freeman is the star of Half Life and it’s unlikely you’ll be seeing him in a new game anytime soon; let’s just throw that delusion out of the window right now. He’s best known for brandishing a crowbar and being utterly mute which is perhaps an outward manifestation of just how deep his mental troubles run. The Half-Life series is regarded as both one of the best to ever exist as well as one of the greatest fodder for trolling gamers to the point of foamy rage.

The Diagnosis: Gordon appears very intelligent and should considering his degree in Theoretical Physics. His speechlessness suggests a variety of autism akin to the infamous Rainman. This theory is further purported by his acceptance of repeatedly doing what effectively constitutes manual labour despite his significantly superior intellect. While it is difficult to infer much from Gordon without him actually speaking, he does communicate with hand gestures and head movements and from this interaction it was possible to deduce that Gordon is aware of the sexual relationship that exists but is not self-aware enough to realise that he is capable of being a part of this and we can thus conclude that Mr Freeman is asexual although this is not by choice as with some inhuman robots but rather a product of his affliction.

It is unclear what has happened to Gordon since his last assessment but rumours suggest that he believes himself to be an African-American actor and that he has learnt to speak with a magnificent voice. Other rumours would have us believe that Mr Freeman believes himself to be God. It is unlikely that any of the rumours are true but our prayers are with Gordon, he is such an innocent soul, and we do hope to hear from him soon.

Kirby (Kirby)

Kirby is one of Nintendo’s best loved characters and like many of them, has endured since the Gameboy days. He is an energetic, pink ball of cutesy happiness but beneath lies perhaps the most twisted sociopath on this list.

The Diagnosis: Kirby is always full of smiles and generally brightens up any room with his presence, until his disease kicks in that is. Clearly apparent is an eating disorder (not necessarily cannibalism) whereby he consumes random passers-by that he comes into contact with and the only reason they might attack him in the first place is that he is infamous throughout the land for his compulsive consumption and pathological demeanour. He will occasionally regurgitate these innocents and injure others in doing so which not only points to a disregard for life but also a complete lack of empathy or feeling towards others. Most of the time though, he will devour them in one go which not only points to some primal instinct for survival but also a severe depression which manifests in his need to eat furiously and in great volumes. After consuming his poor victims, Kirby takes on their persona and traits; obviously indicative of an identity crisis and his burning desire to define himself but also provide meaning to his life.

Kirby regularly goes on killing sprees, prompted only by his psychotic hallucinations and often even just the stuff of his dreams. He’ll use whatever he has at his disposal whether it be spikes, a boomerang, a sword, lightning, fire anything really to inflict havoc and death upon the land, all with a happy-go-lucky smile upon his face. Kirby is the textbook definition of a sociopath. Someone who is ill at ease in society but who tries so hard to fit in that you wouldn’t even notice his insanity behind the too-nice/eager to please attitude until he’s looking at you with murder in his eyes. In short, this is one psychotic motherfucker. No literally, give that cutesy cream-puff a chance and he will rape your mother after killing you and the rest of your family.

In Conclusion

These are just some of the sincerely disturbed video game characters out there and there many more lurking in your pile of games but some of them hide it extremely well. Think carefully the next you say that you wish you were this character or that character because they might be more unbalanced than you might like.

I’m not suggesting you go all Caveshen and overthink everything but take this as a warning that you never know who might be a serial killer in disguise or a perverted sociopath. Then again, perhaps I’m making you all a bit paranoid. On second thought, I shouldn’t listen to that other voice in my head and second-guess myself. Alright, I’ve got it. In conclusion just remember that nothing is true and everything is permitted. Wait, aww screw it that’s a decent enough way to wrap this sideshow up.

Bethesda is considering trademarking the phrase “Fus Ro Dah”, made famous as a shout in Skyrim and the subject of many hilarious YouTube videos. The reasons are unclear, but Bethesda’s parent company, ZeniMax Media has thus far submitted six different applications to the United States Patent and Trademark Office which together cover a range of products such as clothes, ringtones etc. You might still have a shot at calling your terrorist group or laxative formula Fus Ro Dah, but Bethesda does love to sue people over the names of things.

Chances are that ZeniMax is in the process of creating some Skyrim merchandise with Fus Ro Dah branding. Obviously, this will be the tag phrase to go with everything Skyrim. By the way, above is one of the funnier Fus Ro Dah videos, mostly just because of the bit at the end.

Community is probably the single best comedy show around right now and part of that is the layered humour reminiscent of Arrested Development (best comedy show ever). Some like to call the show ‘meta’. Anyway Community star Joel McHale aka Jeff Winger (aka the guy that our Caveshen has been compared to) is now part of the 3DS marketing campaign and in line with his proficiency in all things meta, this ad for the 3DS dissects what it takes to make a viral video advertising the 3DS.

He also kicks a guy in the balls and there’s even an appearance from Mario and Luigi. There are even at least 8 boobs, promise.

I am a huge Coldplay fan, so much so that I went to see them live in concert last year and one of my favourites from their set (although there really isn’t such a thing as a bad Coldplay track) was Viva la Vida. Incidentally, it seems to also be a preferred tune of singer TryHardNinja who decided to reimagine the track with Minecraft in mind.

What you’re about to experience is a pretty good reworking of Viva la Vida by Coldplay accompanied by a breathtakingly astounding Minecraft map created especially for this.

I’m not sure if this truly qualifies as a ‘LOL post’ but it is definitely amazing to behold.

Okay, that header may be a tad ambiguous and more than a little disturbing from some angles but hey, it’s your sick mind, not mine that understood it that way. Anyway, it’s always annoying when you’re playing online and there’s some douche who just keeps ruining the fun for you but then again, you might just be a worthless noob so there’s that too.

Anyway, shit gets pretty messed up when you’re getting pawned by a toddler and you know you’ve entered the zone, where normal things happen very often, when they start trash-talking. Yeah, it’s just weird all-round.

That brings us to this video which is pretty much all about what I just said. Why should you care? Well, it’s worth a few laughs and enables to brag about the fact that I have a 3-year-old brother whom I have now been inspired to develop and mold into the ultimate being, troll and gamer all rolled into one. His power will be maximum!

This whole saga with the backlash from the Mass Effect 3 ending and BioWare’s idiotic reactions to it is beginning to feel like something out of Dragonball Z where it’s just so dragged out and things happen so slowly that you half stop caring but still really want to see what happens.

In today’s episode of “What The Fuck Are These People Doing Trying To Pay For A New Ending?”, the oddball contingent of Mass Effect fans who also apparently have nothing else to live for, is still protesting ME3′s ending. Except this time they’re bribing/trolling/stuffing (to later be murdered and roasted) BioWare employees with cupcakes that actually do exist. Why didn’t Churchill ever try that as a means of achieving things?

A user on the BioWare forum put together a donation pool and soon had the $1000 he needed to purchase 402 cupcakes from a bakery near BioWare’s Edmonton studio.

“As fans, we want Bioware to do right by us, and fix the endings for Mass Effect 3. But we also want to let Bioware know, that we trust them, and have faith in them.

“Bioware has been slammed by negativity from all sides in the last few weeks. This is our way, as fans, to drive our message home, but in a (literally) sweet way. We want Bioware to add some more ‘sweet’ to their ‘bittersweet’ ending. What better way to do this than with CUPCAKES :-D.”

The order has been placed and the invoice as proof was posted online (see below). The cupcakes are colored Red, Blue and Green and labeled A, B or C as a dig at executive produce Casey Hudson’s statements where he said, “It’s not even in any way like the traditional game endings, where you can say how many endings there are or whether you got ending A, B, or C…The endings have a lot more sophistication and variety in them.”

This is certainly the most delicious troll I’ve ever heard of and I’ve seen the Mass Effect 3 endings, Mr Hudson is talking bullshit along with all the other BioWare lackies who are somehow justifying the ending with arguments that are clearly invalid.

Also, if you don’t believe us, here’s the invoice:

Why does nobody ever troll eGamer like this?

Actually, no it isn’t. But I had you going there for a second, right? What it actually is, is so bad you’ll wish you had a lightsaber just to melt your eyes out of your face.

The trailer shows various elements of the game such as pod racing, Rancor destruction sequences and co-op lightsaber battles and that’s all fine. What really messes with you is how much fun these people appear to be having and/or how intent they are on saving the galaxy. At some point you’ll see the dad’s game face and you’ll just know that shit is going down.

Question: Do you think playing Kinect Star Wars would cause an uncontrollable attraction to your sister? Because that could be a pretty nasty side-effect; definitely the kind of warning you need to put on the front of the box.

Everyone likes Gabe Newell, Valve CEO, alround nice guy and ultimate troll for never releasing Half-Life 3. We can agree on that I’m sure, but some affectionately refer to him as Gaben. And those that do this are hardcore fans who have gone as far as to write love letters and make Gabe posters/collages. And then, some of those hardcore fans decided to take it to the next level with the freakiest, most disturbing video I’ve watched — in awhile.

It’s almost too appropriate that Gaben is pronounced as ‘gay ben’ in here.

If you haven’t puked your guts out or been shocked into a vegetative state by the end of this video, then you have a surprisingly strong mind or you’re just gay — whichever seems more appropriate and/or plausible. I’ll have you know that my watching lasted less than one minute. Now, I decided to share my pain with all of you because it’s Saturday, and I’m a sadist.

Feel free to file a complaint or sue us for causing permanent damage to you either psychologically or physically. Also, just know that The Dean made me do it. May God have mercy on my soul for what I have unleashed on unsuspecting readers. Actually, I regret nothing.

You know how cigarette boxes carry warnings about how it’ll give you lung cancer and cook your unborn child’s brain? Well those warnings definitely, without a doubt serve as a deterrent and certainly work to dissuade smokers, right? Wrong, they’re merely there to cover the respective cigarette companies so that when you’re lying bedridden with lung cancer, they can say, “well, we did warn you.”

Anyway, following the success of those warnings, it of course makes a great deal of sense to slap some warnings across the front of video game boxes. Nothing too serious, just a fun little one-liner like:

“WARNING: Exposure to violent video games has been linked to aggressive behavior.”

Y’know for lolz and what have you. No, is the answer you’re looking for. Drawing a strong correlation between aggressive behaviour and video games is the same as drawing a strong correlation between sex offenders and eating sliced bread.

The Violence in Video Games Labeling Act was introduced on Monday by Joe Baca (D-Calif.) and Frank Wolf (R-Va.) in response to allegedly increasing evidence that playing violent video games can be detrimental to your health.

“The video game industry has a responsibility to parents, families and to consumers — to inform them of the potentially damaging content that is often found in their products,” Baca said, as reported by The Hill. ”They have repeatedly failed to live up to this responsibility.

“Just as we warn smokers of the health consequences of tobacco, we should warn parents — and children — about the growing scientific evidence demonstrating a relationship between violent video games and violent behavior,” Wolf said. “As a parent and grandparent, I think it is important people know everything they can about the extremely violent nature of some of these games.”

Well, that certainly is a joke if I ever heard one. The kicker though is that they’ve been trying their luck since 2009. However, if Congress decided to pass the bill as a matter of national security — or something — then it would any and every game with an ESRB rating of E or higher to carry the warning label. That means that even if you’re playing something like Zumba Fitness, it would have to warn you of any potentially violent content. The only games exempt from this would be those rated EC (Early Childhood).

The Entertainment Software Association, a trade group that represents U.S. video game publishers, released the following statement to Game Informer from SVP of communications Rich Taylor:

The Entertainment Software Association supports providing parents with complete and useful information so they can make informed purchasing decisions. The current video game rating system does so and has been lauded as the leading rating system in the entertainment industry.

Unfortunately, Representative Baca’s facially unconstitutional bill—which has been introduced to no avail in each of six successive Congressional sessions, beginning in 2002—needlessly concerns parents with flawed research and junk science. Numerous medical experts, research authorities, and courts across the country, including the United States Supreme Court, exhaustively reviewed the research Representative Baca uses to base his bill and found it lacking and unpersuasive. Independent scientific researchers found no causal connection between video games and real life violence.

We would commend Representatives Baca and Wolf to the reams of bourgeoning academic research demonstrating that video games can be innovative learning and assessment tools in engaging and educating America’s youth, especially in core subjects such as science, technology, engineering and math.

If you found that a bit arduous to read, effectively this Baca fellow who’s up in arms about video games turning your kids into viscous killers has been called an idiot and fire-starter by the ESA.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: some people are so disturbed that they can be negatively influenced by anything. The kid who hung himself because ‘his Pokemon told him to’ or the guy who sued MW as a training exercise for the massacre he unleashed on unsuspecting civilians. Not to sound callous but they could just as easily have been influenced by Barney and walked around shooting people while wearing a purple dinosaur outfit.

I don’t know about you, but I have clear memories of sitting with a bunch of friends during library periods at school and going through the latest Guinness World Records book. It was always a bit interesting, but then came the Guinness World Records: Gamer’s Edition, and after looking through the first edition in 2008, I realised that while there were some facts, a lot of it was just utter bullshit. Suffice to say that I never picked up the hateful book again.

You’d imagine then that I’d be all sunshine and rainbows when I saw the list of the 50 best video game endings in history, according to the 2012 edition of the book.

It’s a fucking joke.

After tallying up 13, 519 votes, the best game ending of all time was revealed to be Call of Duty: Black Ops, of course. What the fuck, voters? Did they get a group of goldfish to vote or something and the last game they all played just happened to be Black Ops? I can’t understand that. Sure, I liked Black Ops’ endgame a lot and it was a great game, but let me put this into perspective; below is a list of some games that I think have substantially better endings than Black Ops:

• inFamous
• Resistance 2
• Portal & Portal 2
• Prince of Persia: Sands of Time trilogy
• Heavy Rain
• Assassin’s Creed I & II
• Mass Effect
• God Of War trilogy
• BioShock
• Batman: Arkham City
• Half Life series
• Metal Gear Solid
• The Witcher 2

Those are only a few, I’m sure you’ve got a few more to add to that but how in the name of Charlie Brown did these not make it. You’ll notice a lot of them on the list but many are nowhere near the position they should be or the order they should be.

There are many more idiosyncrasies and face-palm, rage-inducing entries on the list which I’ll let you see for yourself although particular mention must go to Star Wars: the Force Unleashed II. It’s in at 44, ahead of Knights of the Old Republic! I hated it so viciously that I had to stop playing after only 20 minutes or risk becoming aggressively violent and this game made it to number 44 in the list of the best game endings of all time. Whoever decided that this game had a place on this list should have their arms chopped off and then get punched repeatedly with their own hands.

Below is the full list of lunacy and idiocy:

50. Resident Evil 4
49. Star Wars: Knights of the old Republic
48. Ratchet & Clank: a Crack in Time
47. Crysis 2
46. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
45. Call of Duty: World at War
44. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II
43. Half-Life 2: Episode Two
42. Super Metroid
41. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
40. New Super Mario Bros. Wii
39. inFamous
38. Fallout 3
37. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
36. Gears of War 2
35. Bioshock
34. Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty
33. Sonic Adventures 2
32. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
31. Kingdom Hearts II
30. Mass Effect
29. Super Mario Galaxy
28. Sonic the Hedgehog
27. Metal Gear Solid
26. Assassin’s Creed II
25. Assassin’s Creed
24. Shadow of the Colossus
23. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
22. Kingdom Hearts
21. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
20. Super Mario Galaxy 2
19. Mass Effect 2
18. Grand Theft Auto IV
17. Portal 2
16. Assassins Creed: Brotherhood
15. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
14. Halo: Combat Evolved
13. Halo 3
12. Pokemon Black and White
11. Super Mario Bros
10. Heavy Rain
9. Final Fantasy VII
8. Metal Gear Solid 4
7. Portal
6. Red Dead Redemption
5. God of War
4. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
3. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
2. Halo: Reach
1. Call of Duty: Black Ops

At first it felt like I was being trolled but then I came to the hard realisation that I wasn’t and felt infinitely more depressed for it.

In case you’re wondering, I did write this article for the express purpose of venting my anger, outrage and frustration. Thank you for your time and now I suggest you do the same in the comments. I’m off to steal a cat so that I can stroke it in the hopes of calming myself down.

Heavy Rain is honestly the most mature and serious game I’ve ever played, next to Minesweeper (shit gets real when there are bombs involved) and that’s part of what made it such a standout title. You would imagine then that it’s very difficult to find anything funny in all the somberness. You would be wrong as stand-up comedian Kumail Nanjiani expertly proves.

The comedian who I did not know existed until last night has some good material on Sony’s psycho-thriller and even manages to make some commentary on the evolution of gaming as a medium and the spectrum of experiences that it offers nowadays.

Watch him poke fun at what he calls a depressing game.

You know, when we at eGamer make a mistake, we can just edit the article and it’s all hunky dory. We still proof-read our articles (some better than others) anyway. You’d imagine then that when clearing whatever text may appear on the box of a game there would be an army of people to check that all is kosher and then another army of quality control people to make sure that the first army wasn’t full of degenerates who couldn’t spot the mistakes.

How then did the above faux pa slip through? Resident Evil: Revelations for the 3DS has just been released and people who picked the game were having problems before they even got to the counter. As you can see, the spine of the box reads: “Resident Evil: Revelaitons”.

This pic was snapped by gaming journalist Dan Ackerman who writes for Spin and CNET. Game Informer called Capcom out on this tiny little microscopic error and got a rather interesting reply:

“It has come to our attention that there was a misspelling on the Resident Evil Revelations packaging. We apologize for the mistake, which will be corrected for subsequent productions of the game. We are working on a solution to provide affected customers with the correct packaging. Please visit Capcom-Unity for updates.”

Where’s Homer when you need a “d’oh”?

So Microsoft made a little 2 minute short to promote the release of Star Wars for Kinect and had the humility to call it “hilarious” themselves.

Judge for yourself whether this spoof of the iconic lightsaber duel between Vader and Obi Wan in Episode IV is any good. You may also recognise the dude in the bathrobe but I’m not saying who he is.

The game is set for an autumn release and will give you the power to “unleash your inner Jedi – with no controller in the way” across single and co-op, competitive and duel modes.

Doesn’t it just sound fantastic in every conceivable way?

Okay so it’s not exactly the entire nation. It’s just one guy so the rest of Australia can still be considered a bunch of inbred felons who consider Mario Kart as violent and sexually themed. Also these aren’t so much real Pokéballs as they are Photoshopped.

Anyway, Oz artist Barry Wazzy (Christian name?) has served up a gallery of some fine Pokéball artwork. It’s all themed and there are a few that take inspiration from the likes of The Dark Knight, Harry Potter and Dragonball Z.

They are super awesome and are so cool that even James Dean would want a few, if they were real and he didn’t die that one time. Check them out below.

The world’s biggest game controller was unveiled in London’s Liverpool St station this week, in order to celebrate the release of the Guinness World Records Gamer’s Edition 2012.

The controller weighs 18 stone (265 pounds), which is slightly over 120 kilograms if those other weird systems of measurement don’t make sense to you. To blow your brains even further, this awesome monstrosity costs £4,000, which converts to a staggering R49029.60 – certainly not pocket change.

Modelled after the famous NES controller, the record-breaking device is 12 feet long, which is about 3.6576 meters, and according to Guinness World Records is just about 30 times the size of a normal NES controller. Would you believe that the controller actually works too? That’s right, you can use it for gaming, and you can imagine what a unique experience it must have been for commuters to operate the device by actually jumping on the buttons to play NES titles.

Ben Allen, a British Engineering student and the creator of the controller, said: “This is really a labour of love. We’re passionate about gaming and wanted to honour its most iconic device; the NES (Nintendo Entertainment System) joypad.

“We put our heads together in the pub and decided to create this absurdly large working version! It’s such a rush to know we’ve made history and are being included in the Guinness World Records Gamer’s Edition.”

The Guinness World Records Gamer’s Edition 2012 officially went on sale yesterday.

It’s Skyrim but all the dragons have been replaced by My Little Ponies. Best. Mod. Ever.

Imagine if shouting at the dragon ponies made them hide in a corner and cry. It would be amazing. Watch these videos and your life will be complete.

Did I mention that despite the cuteness, they still breathe fire and all the rest. Allow me to reiterate. Best. Mod. Ever.

So someone decided that instead of receiving the super awesome Kevin Butler treatment, the best way to market the PlayStation Vita now that it has launched in Europe would be with some lifestyle shots showing how happy and aesthetically pleasing the average Vita user looks. I don’t know about you but they just look like colossal tools to me.

However, I am but a bespectacled nerd and so do not understand the finer nuances of coolness displayed by these strapping gentlemen.

I guess the only question remaining is which one of these guys most resembles Alessandro? Speaking of which, have you seen his rather cool unboxing of the PS Vita?

Okay, so I’ve got your attention. Generally Valve CEO Gabe Newell is as cuddly and happy as the pandas he resembles but he’s holding a pair of hunting knives in this picture that’s been circulating on Reddit so someone must have done something to provoke him.

Maybe they poked him or tried to feed him those chocolate-filled biscuit things with the panda prints on them and he got offended? Perhaps there’s a clue in the picture.

Surely this is the ultimate Half-Life 3 troll, one coming from Valve themselves who keep telling us that there’s nothing in the works. Or perhaps there’s something else afoot. So are Valve really that cruel? Of course not, everybody loves Valve.

The Half-Life 3 bit was actually added afterwards as you can clearly see in Exhibit Q. That begs the question though: what was Gabe doing with the knives then? Actually we probably don’t want to know.

So what we actually have is a troll based on what we can only assume to be another troll. Troll physics dictates that this results in the superposition of the original troll resulting in a multi-stage megatroll. Be afraid, be very afraid.

For years we have yearned for Half Life 3 to finally exist and yet all we ever get is at best a little tease and at worst another game from Valve. Now that Duke Nukem: Forever finally emerged from the ashes and then got run over by a truck, Half Life 3 is the biggest game to never happen even if it has never officially existed.

Now we have this Half Life 3 t-shirt spotted by a Seattle-based game developer at a local event. The cruel bit is that this tee was worn by a Valve employee. If he’s trolling, he deserves to be shot. What he’s doing is plain evil and downright sinister.

It’s probably not the biggest revolution in gaming and very likely not a great idea but someone figured it would be intelligent to combine urinals with gaming to get a game that is controlled by your golden liquid waste.

It’s a wacky concept to say the least but how it works is that there are three targets on the urinal – left, right and centre. There’s a screen above the urinal with a game on it and to play the game you aim your stream on either of the 3 targets to move the little character on-screen.

Why couldn’t Nintendo think of this before they decided to name their console?

Did anyone else notice a game which seems to feature nude women? I really don’t want to know what goes down in that game.

Nintendo felt that the best way to promote Mario Kart 7 for the 3DS was to have life-sized fully-functional Mario go-karts made and then show them off at the L.A .Car Show. There was of course only one company up to the task: West Coast Customs of Pimp My Ride fame.

Nintendo put in an order for two karts to be made and then it was on like Donkey Kong although it would have been really awesome if WCC had mounted a 3DS where the instrument cluster should be. Throw some Xzibit in and it’s the perfect way to showcase Mario Kart 7.

Yo dawg, I heard you like to Mario Kart so we put Mario Kart in your Mario Kart so you can Mario Kart while you Mario Kart.

You’ve officially been pimped.

As awesome as Rocksteady’s character designs are for Batman: Arkham City (see: making Robin cool for the first time ever), there’s nothing that can turn that around quite like a The Simpsons makeover to turn that all around.

Fan artist Dean Fraser has a knack for transforming pop culture icons into characters from The Simpsons.

Behold, the epicness of Batman with jaundice. I’d say Asian Batman but who is he kidding with those eyes?

You’ve got to love Kevin Butler whether you’re a PS3 gamer or not. The man is just priceless every time.

In his latest video he pays tribute to all best gamers on PSN and he seems to have a thing for explosives this time around.

Have you seen his last video? Does anyone else want crispy pancakes all of a sudden?

So Taiwanese news channel NMA likes to do little animated videos to accompany its reports. This report talks about Skyrim’s launch and bugs and despite the priceless accent, there’s not much wrong with that.

The animation itself is another beast entirely. It starts with a trio of Skyrim fans bashing copies of Modern warfare 3 with various kitchen implements and rivals Japanese game shows in terms of weirdness, it is just utterly crazy.

WTF, Taiwan?

Yes, the man who scares Superman, has BBM on his Blockia and was playing Duke Nukem Forever 2 years ago now features in a TV commercial for World of Warcraft.

As you might expect, the ad is very cheesy and strange but you’ll watch it anyway.

Cue an endless stream of Chuck Norris jokes.

Whether this is real or not is very questionable but it is exceptionally awesome and really cool to watch. Regardless, it will likely go down as the best assassination ever seen in Skyrim, for now.

It’s probably not humanly possible to have the skill and know-how required to pull this off with an arrow shot but hey, it’s still frickin’ awesome.

The question is, does this beat Cavie’s 1km arrow kill? Be sure to read his epic Skyrim review.

It’s simple really. All you need to do is have relations with a person, wait 9 months for a child, name them after a Skyrim character and then tell everyone all about it on your blog.

Where’s my proof that this works? Well, look no further than Dovahkiin Tom Kellermeyer.

Megan and Eric Kellermeyer have named their newborn son Dovahkiin Tom Kellermeyer which, if translated literally, reads as Dragon-born Tom Kellermeyer. Oh dear.

Most people would be sensible enough to not do this, ever. I might name my son Altair but that’s a bit different. This is just way out there. On a scale of 1 to outrageous, this is insane.

That said, the name itself is pretty badass but Dragon-born will grow up wondering why his parents had to be such nerdy dicks as people constantly ask him about that interesting name and whether he’s foreign. How do you say, “My freak parents named me after a video game character,” in the language of the legendary beast?

By the time he’s old enough to understand what Skyrim is, it’ll be nothing more than a forgotten relic. Admit it, you know it’s true. However, he will have a lifetime supply of free Bethesda games so that’s pretty damn awesome. Apparently Bethesda had a baby-naming competition and the winners would get free games from them for life. The Kellermeyers say they definitely didn’t know about the competition.

The Kellermeyers explain everything quite clearly in their blog:

“We are going to name him Dovahkiin”, said young Dragon born Tom’s mother. “The reason being it is an awesome name… and, yes, it comes with a fantastic prize in Bethesda’s baby-naming contest to coincide with the release of Skyrim. Now, my husband didn’t know of the contest to start with. We conceived long before hearing of it. But it’s been a tough year and I wanted to do something special for my son.

“But the more I thought of it, the more I settled on Dovahkiin, contest or no. It helps that we told all our friends and family and very few are opposed to the idea. My mom thought it was neat! He will have a perfectly normal and common middle name if the first name becomes too much for him or us or we just want to call him a nickname.

“I’ve read several posts on the site and most condemn anyone who would dare name their child such a thing, all for capitalism. Well, I really don’t play many video games (TB plays an ungodly amount though), and I would never name my child a name I found horrible or even terribly mediocre. I think we’re doing a great job with our daughter and will continue to be great parents for our son, too.”

And Bethesda said:

“Be it the real world or the game worlds we create, we wish young Dovahkiin the best in all his adventures. And if Alduin ever reaches this realm, we’ll be in touch.”

There’s only one man I can think of who’d be mad enough to do this. A reward to the first one who can guess this individual’s name though his developer of choice would not be Bethesda.

Yes, Batman: Arkham City has a big head mode and it is awesome.

It’s pretty easy to pull off but you need to be playing in new game + on normal or higher difficulty. It’s also easier if you do the cheat with the cryptographic sequencer out although this is not essential. You simply hold the four shoulder buttons (PS3) or the two trigger buttons (Xbox 360) and then proceed to rotate the analogue sticks in opposite directions for a few seconds. Boom! Big heads for everyone. Repeating this turns it off. When near enemies you can also rotate the right analogue twice to perform a taunt that causes all surrounding enemies to cower in fear.

The cheat works on all characters and skins, even in challenge maps and makes the game so much more hilarious and even kinda cute, in a dark and gritty way. It even makes the villains ham-fisted and big headed.

It makes you wonder though, what other cheats are there in this game? Also, what would Solomon Grundy, Penguin, Bane or Killer Croc look like with inflated heads?

When Eric Smith’s fiancee unexpectedly dumped him, he was about to hurtle into a downward spiral that would only end in one way. Luckily, the plucky kid from Philadelphia picked himself up and soldiered on.

He figured it wouldn’t be satisfying enough to simply sell off the engagement ring he’d bought her and seek happiness through some quality prostitutes (or by investing it, whatever works for you). Thus, Smith took his spoils and splurged on a suit of Spartan MJOLNIR armour ala Halo which should protect his heart from the hurt of this cruel world.

“No one ever sees the Master Chief’s face. You’re trying to disappear,” say his friends. Smith disagrees although it is unclear whether the suit will be used to exact vengeance upon his ex-fiancee and her likely new lover. I hear chainsaws make quite the impression on that front although a working Energy Sword may do the trick.

Smith went on to describe some rather specific imagined dialogue between him and his ex and he’s got some wit about him which helps when writing suicide notes.

“I’m nailing the hell out this tool I met in karate class and while we’ve been driving in my car, you and I have been listening to the terrible mix CD he made me and now you’ll never be able to hear Alkaline Trio without wanting to fucking kill yourself.”

He also justifies his purchase with the following statement:

“I’d wanted the suit for so long, and after such epic heartbreak, receiving each piece of armor—arriving in seven shipments, over the course of eight months-became an unintentionally cathartic process. As the shoulders, forearms, chest-piece, and helmet arrived slowly, one section at a time… well, with each part I got a small piece of myself back.”

In all honesty, it’s good to see that this guy is doing something to fix himself and bring some stability back into his life. Read more of Eric Smith’s story at the link below.

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations has barely been out a full day and we’ve already got a legendary parody video.

Inspired by the musical stylings of Ezio Auditore, the song is based on cringe-worthy ” Higher” by Creed (See what they did there?).

As parodies go, this guy put in a fair amount of effort, he even honed his assassin and parkour skills just for the video. If you’re reading this after watching the video, then yes, he totally should’ve head for the bushes.

Ever heard of actress Michelle Morrow? Yeah, me neither because her career has thus far been restricted to low-budget horror films. Well she seems to be one of the few people in the film industry who’s still fighting for a Warcraft movie or even cares about one, for that matter. Especially after director Sam Raimi said not to expect a Warcraft movie any time soon and then moved on to Oz: The Great and Powerful.

Morrow is desperate to be in the Warcraft movie (because she’s in need of work?) and currently has a 5000 likes-strong Facebook page that asks fans to show their support. Morrow doesn’t just want to be in the movie but she is aching to play Lady Sylvanas. Here’s what she said last January:

“To be honest, I’d be happy to play any of the characters in the movie. But, Sylvanas… I love her because she’s determined. She’s insidious. She’s arrogant and spiteful, but you can’t really blame her. She’s very tortured. I love this imagination of her. She truly takes her own council.”

To show her appreciation, Morrow is giving away a signed two-month WoW game card to a random commenter who comments either on her website or Facebook fan page. Anybody want a game card that she’s scribbled on?

Ironically, given her filmography, if a Warcraft movie gets made she probably won’t be cast in. maybe they’ll give her special mention or cast her as an Imp.

This would all be kinda adorable if it wasn’t so pathetic but hey, that’s just my twisted opinion.

Skyrim’s out today and it doesn’t matter if I tell you that the game is openly racist, sexist and homophobic or that it gives little children cancer because you will buy it anyway. I’m glad we can agree on that.

Thus, me telling you about a tiny little bug is not going to mean a thing. Rest assured, Skyrim is not Oblivion 2.0. However, there is one particularly interesting bug that shouldn’t be as repeatable as it is.

We could just be witnessing one of the game’s awesome mini-features but notice how the swinging club of an enemy sends you hurtling comically off into the stratosphere. Of course, he could just be that strong.

Watch below to see how easily people have been able to repeat it though which makes you wonder whether it is a glitch after all.

Apparently, this glitch, or whatever you’d like to call it, doesn’t occur or is very hard to reproduce on the Xbox 360 version of Skyrim.  Therefore, if you have Skyrim for PS3 or PC, fire it up now and try this out. Report back to me with what intel you’ve gained.

Get a look at all the psychotic, awesome and wickedly fun ways you can bring the hurt in Saints Row: The Third in this weapons trailer. Besides being absolutely insane in every respect, Saints Row: The Third also has some awesome cameos such as Burt Reynolds as the mayor of Steelport. There’s really not much more for me to say.

November 18, mark the date.

Sometimes playing online can be tough, especially when you’re not having much fun as a result of dying every seven seconds. Kevin Butler would like to personally thank all of you who persevere and don’t give into the dark embrace of rage quitting.

It’s part of Sony and PlayStation’s ongoing YouTube campaign which thanks the average (PS3) gamer for their efforts. The last time we saw KB, he was astride a horse and Sony’s last ad is quite possibly the best advertisement ever.

The example in this particular ad is one gamer known as Legit_Btness who was too legit. He was too legit to quit. But then he was not legit. He was unlegit. But even that did not lead him to quit.

Personally, I never let the thought of rage quitting cross my mind but then I don’t game online all that much. What about you?

Did I mention that Kevin Butler totally busts a move by the end of the ad? It’s epic.

Saints Row: The Third has been killing us of late with the most awesome trailers anywhere, ever. Seriously, the combined power of the trailers over the last few weeks could end poverty and bring peace to the world. They manage to fix everyday problems ranging from being stuck in traffic to the correct way to play baseball and even the correct manner in which to pimp out a small economical urban vehicle.

Did I mention that Saints Row developer Volition Inc. trolled Modern Warfare, Battlefield and Halo epically in one fell swoop with this awesome trailer. Moving on, if you’re only now coming across Saints Row: The Third, please read our preview and be enlightened as to what you’ve been missing out on.

The latest trailer is all about the madness of the game and just how over-the-top bat-shit crazy everything is in the city of Steelport. You’ll see everything from superheroes to spacemen, gimps, pimps, atomic ATVs, farts in a jar, dildo bats, destroyer jets, zombies, reaper drones and tons more.

How do you cap off an insane trailer like this? With Burt Fucking (yes, that’s his Christian middle name) Reynolds as the Mayor of Steelport, of course.

There are not words in the English language to describe how awesome this game is or how ridiculously fun it looks.

Humblest apologies for the uneven quality of the video but it’s the only copy I could find.

Shh, try to keep your laughter to a minimum or you’ll wake the bitches!

November 18, mark the date.

Okay, so Halloween was several days ago and Microsoft did something a little unique to mark the occasion. They made Kinect intimidating and scary.

Long used as the butt of many a joke, Kinect strikes back in this horror parody as an instrument of torture and murder. It draws quite clearly from Saw and involves some very cheesy moments (look away, if you’re lactose intolerant).

However, the Kinect stuff is pretty cool and I have to say it’s good use of the motion control system. The moral of the story here is, I think, avoid Kinect at all costs if you value your life and sanity. Top notch marketing there Microsoft.

Enjoy.

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations is a mere fortnight away and it will almost certainly be an awesome experience to cap off Ezio’s escapades. What’s even better though is that players will be reunited with the guy who started it all, Altair ibn La-Ahad – the original Assassin’s Creed protagonist. Altair was a killer assassin who just oozed swagger. The question now though is, “What happens when you throw Assassin’s Creed into a modern-day society?”

It’s a pretty valid question considering where the series is heading with Desmond and so the Dutch branch of Ubisoft decided to find out. What they did was put together a series of promo videos showing how Altair grapples with contemporary transport, target practice, weaponry and outfits and the fact that no one just happens to be carrying throwing knives around in their pockets anymore.

Basically, what you end up with is not so much confident, uber-cool swagger  as it is creepy stalker/freak/paedo weirdness. You’ve got to love the Dutchies and their sense of humour and whatever it is that they’re smoking.

Well, in theory you should get something pretty amazing but that’s not how reality works. It’s even worse in the gaming industry because the standard and fairly logical formula of [Awesome Thing A] x [Awesome Thing B] = Awesome² does not prove true for all values of A or B.

Why the Maths lesson? Well, I have to write 4 Maths papers on 4 consecutive school days and decided that someone should share my pain but it’s also a roundabout way of introducing today’s shameless intellectual property cloning.

There’s a new free-to-download game called Cut the Birds available on Apple’s App Store for iPad and iPhone and by watching the above video of it, you might just feel the strong tug of deja vu. You’ll also question the integrity of the App Store’s approval process.

Now, that sounds like an unholy amalgamation of iOS heavyweights Cut the Rope and Angry Birds and funny enough, you’d be dead on the money for thinking so. Not only does it steal the names but it also combines the games somewhat and steals Angry Birds’ visual style completely.

The third in this unholy trifecta of itheft is Fruit Ninja from which Cut the Birds manages to steal the gameplay without blinking an eye.

So, to summarise: name from Cut the Rope/Angry Birds, visuals from Angry Birds, gameplay from Fruit Ninja. It’s actually starting to sound pretty decent.

The only thing keeping me from raging all over the developers of Cut the Birds is that the game is free so they’re not profiting from their little copy-paste escapade.

Sadly, I couldn’t find Cut the Birds on the SA App Store (I blame Telkom. Why? Because it is the root of all evil).

Batman is many things. From vigilante to deranged billionaire with delusions of grandeur to campy weirdo with Bat-shark repellent (I blame you, Adam West); he’s even been branded as “not a real superhero” due to his lack of any real superpowers. What you wouldn’t associate with the Dark Knight though is the term villain. Sure, he crosses the line a little here and there but at least he’s not an alcoholic.

Now let’s wind the clock back to 1989. Some of you (you know who you are) may be quick to point out that this was the year when Tim Burton’s Batman redefined the Dark Knight’s public image outside of comics as a darker, more sinister character. The same people will also be quick to note that Frank Miller did the same in comics with the outstanding Batman: Year One. Now, both of these cast Batman in a much darker, more antihero role than previous but you still wouldn’t exactly call him evil.

Enter The Revenge of Shinobi, a 1989 title for the Sega Genesis. It was your typical side-scrolling ninja-themed game with plenty of 16-bit action. Typical except for one thing that is. One of the bosses you encountered was what looked very much like Spider-Man, he even shot webs at you while sticking to the ceiling. When you dealt this not-Spider-Man enough damage, he’d hop off the ceiling having transformed into what looks suspiciously like the Batman, only battier.

Above is a video of said boss fight. It is 1:08 min of pure 16-bit WTF.

Later versions of the game switched Bats out for a more bat-looking villain. Strangely enough, Spider-Man seems to have been retained. Who is intimidated or even remotely afraid of Spider-Man though? Seriously, Batman is a psychopath with lots of money and nothing to lose, you do not want to mess with him but Spider-Man? Meh. Aficionados of such strangeness will be glad to know that The Revenge of Shinobi is currently available on Wii Virtual Console, PSN and XBLA.

This has got to go down as one of the best unofficial cameos in video game history next to Mikhail Gorbachev in Street Fighter 2 (look it up, it happened). The best cameo except, of course, for Great White Shark in Batman: Arkham City. Free hot dogs to everyone who knows what I’m talking about.

Dark Souls is a sadistic game. No, scratch that, Dark Souls is a game that would bring back the Double-Crunch, Holey-Moleys and all the other great foods that have been cancelled over the years for the express purpose of destroying it all right before your eyes. So yeah, Dark Souls is a game designed to be difficult.

As such, it can take a long time for mere mortals to finish the game. One guy finished it in an hour but he’s Asian so that’s understandable. Another thing about Dark Souls is that the insane difficulty will cause you to die a lot. Thus, I’m sure you can appreciate the poetry in building a custom Dark Souls rig using a coffin.

Yes, that thing we usually put dead people in is now being used to house vegetative gamers. The coffin was built for a competition run by Namco Bandai in Australia and features a sizeable LCD TV, surround sound system and space for either a PS3 or Xbox 360. The whole thing is also padded out very nicely so that you can lie back and die play the game in comfort.

Batman: Arkham City is undoubtedly one of my favourite games of all time.

Besides the fantastic free-flow combat system, the way every villain is so seamlessly and organically blended into the narrative and the game as a whole, the fantastic story with its twists and the amazingly detailed environment; the game world also has a tangible living quality to it with the inmates going about their lives and having discussions amongst each other. I even saw some members of Two-Face’s gang working out in the middle of the street, doing push-ups and so on.

While playing through Arkham City, you’ll hear many strange and interesting conversations between inmates. Some talk about other villains, others talk about how they’d like to get a ‘beat down’ from Catwoman. There was even a modified version of rock-paper-scissors going on between a few guys and one inmate was talking about his mother on prom night which became very weird very quickly.

While traversing the rooftops last night, I overheard an inmate say something along these lines:

“I don’t get it, did they ever explain what the Island was?”

Probably a LOST reference but it’s subtle, right? Well then it was off to the internet to see if I’d heard right and verily ’twas so but in addition to that little bit of satisfaction, I also found this clip with an in-the-face LOST reference from Joker.

A light warning of spoilers. There’s nothing in the following video that I would deem as a spoiler but you might see things differently.

The birth of a gamer is a special thing. That moment when an individual realises that a world of headshots, rage quits and fun unbridled by the confines of reality is what they want.

Watch as a little tyke’s inner-gamer is awakened by Angry Birds and unleashed on all the all the world with a mighty banshee screech. It’s absolutely adorable.

I have a little brother of 2 years who has taken interest in playing racers such as NFS: Shift 2 and enjoys watching me play games such as Uncharted or InFamous. He has recently taken a liking to Arkham City trailers such as this one and even sat through the 7 min gameplay video. Houston, we have a gamer. I’m a very proud big brother right about now.

Got your own heartwarming ‘birth of a gamer’ story? Please share it with us down below.

Being Indian, I probably should have seen this coming. While Bollywood does some great song and dance numbers and easily has some of the most gorgeous actresses around, they do not do scripts very well.

Asa  result, pretty much every Bollywood movie is a rip-off of some at least mildly good idea that a Westerner has had. I’ve actually seen snippets of a Bollywood Superman and it was easily the most bizarre and obscure thing I’ve ever seen but with dance scenes in between.

Now Tamil films are a particular branch of Indian films that tend to be stranger than all the others. It’s sort of like indie but the bad kind. Tamil film Velayudham decided that Assassin’s Creed was a pretty cool idea but wasn’t quite good enough. So it spices the whole concept up with bad cinematography, a sweaty brown man and lots of dance sequences.

It’s difficult to tell whether inspiration has been draw from Ezio or Altair but they’ve pretty much copied the Assassin’s Creed vibe to the tee.

As if that wasn’t enough, get a load of the plot. Velayudham follows Indian actor Vijay as he plays a milkman turned vigilante in the fight against corruption. What the fuck?

Have a look at the official trailer to fully understand what I’m on about.

Does anybody else smell an AC spin-off in India? Don’t these videos just put forth how awesome that be?

Warning: the following article contains mild amounts of strong language.

People Can Fly, the team that developed Bulletstorm, is a Polish studio. As a result, they all speak Polish and so may be forgiven for the following.

First off, whenever you learn a new fucking language from people outside a learning environment, the first thing you learn is motherfucking (don’t worry, we’re going somewhere with this foul language) profanity. You, bitch-faced n*****, learn how to swear at people in that language because it somehow makes sense that this is necessary. It also somehow seems natural to, when in foreign countries, drop a, “Jou ma se…,” every now and then in public places.

Okay, that cunt of a digression aside, read the following and judge for yourself whether you’d cram a game with that much profanity because it sounds fun and exotic.

“Do you know any swear word in a foreign language? German, French, Polish? When you say it out loud, no biggie, right? Not a problem to use it during a family dinner, I assume? That is how all the f-bombs sounded to us. Being Polish, all the strong language in Bulletstorm was just exotic and fun to us. We did not feel its power. In other words, Epic thought this is what we wanted and respected our creative vision, while we had no idea this vision was a bit more than we really wanted. It was only at the end of the development, when I read the Polish translation of the game, that I realized how dirty we were. I swear a lot. A LOT. And yet still I kind of blushed.” – People Can Fly’s creative director Adrian Chmielarz, speaking to Game Developer magazine.

How did something like this even happen?

If you’re Eastern European, please read the above and tell me if it sounds exotic because I sure as fuck think it does.

Sony has undoubtedly made one of the coolest gaming TV adverts ever, if not the best we’ve seen to this date. Seriously, check it out yourself.

The advert features some of the most iconic gaming characters around, including Solid Snake, Ezio, Nathan Drake and Kratos, all rallying to honour and thank their collective hero – which is you.

The advert is the latest part of Sony’s Long Live Play PlayStation 3 campaign, which made its debut in August when Sony dropped the famous “It Only Does Everything” slogan in favour of the new ‘Long Live Play’. And it’s a pretty brilliant move at that, I think.

Also, the ad kinda makes you think how cheesy some of these characters sound out of context. Like Snake.

The enemy is approaching from the East and seeks to lay waste to our land, the Mushroom Kingdom needs you. Join the Koopas now, follow your call to arms. Rid our Kingdom of the plumbing menace.

A lifetime supply of 1 ups to the man who brings me Mario’s head on a plunger!

This is how you stir up a kingdom and get them behind a cause: with a set of well-designed and rather tasteful propaganda-laden posters.

The posters are designed by a graphic designer from the US named Fro.

They make take our power ups, but they will never take our freedom!

Trust me, this is fully on-topic. You see there’s a new top-down game called Burnout Crash which just released on PSN and XBLA but that’s not really important.

What’s important is this Kinect trailer for the game which is seriously about as WTF as a kitten riding a unicycle while juggling pandas and rapping the song 8-Mile.

The Hoff, a chicken-man suit, Asian punks and an ice-cream van; how much more ridiculous can it get? Did I mention he makes stuff explode by laying an egg?

FIFA 12 is out next week and you’re anything like half the people I know, you can’t frickin’ wait. That said, I played the demo for FIFA 12 today and am confident that it will be a major step up from FIFA 11.

One of those big game changers (see what I did there?) is the Impact Engine which accurately replicates collisions and the impact they have on players. What with this being a demo though, there have been some issues, mostly of the freakishly flopping around on the ground variety but there are some gems.

YouTube user Kennybastards must have gotten the “FIFA 11 Tribute Edition” of the demo with added bugs because he’s compiled a video of some seriously ridiculous glitches and bugs. These will be almost completely have been eradicated by the time the game releases next week.

In answer to some of the questions you may have after watching the video let me say the following. Yes, Messi is a Chinese contortionist. No, you should not care that Busquets got killed. Yes, obviously Zlatan was using the force (check out his new hairstyle and you’ll see what I’m talking about). Maybe Xavi has vertical takeoff capabilities.

Enjoy.

Angry Birds is the ultimate fun time-waster, once you get going the hours fly by. What better way to pass time on a long-haul flight than play Angry Birds?

That’s basically the idea behind the Angry Birds Asian Challenge which has participants playing the game aboard a Finnair flight from Finland to Singapore later this week.

What’s more, there’s even going to be Angry Birds non-alcoholic beverages and fried eggs served at the Helsinki Airport press conference prior to take take off.

It’s definitely one of the more unusual things you’ll hear about. Details to follow after the press conference; fried eggs to be served thereafter, please indicate normal, halaal or vegetarian in the comments for catering purposes.